My Crazy Friends
by kupochan14
Summary: The epic tale of three friends who end up in the Naruto world and through the powers of flyswatters, frying pans, and rotten food they attempt to stay alive. I'm sorry if you don't like my attempts at humor, but I try. Rated T for mild language.
1. When the Fridge Picks Favorites

**A/N: Ok I know that if you have read any of my other stories you should hate me because i have not updated in forever. I love all of you, but alas i have two houses and no laptop or reasonable way to transport my stories. Thus, i do take awhile to update generally. But THIS story is diferent because i have already written most of it. *yay* So here is the little first chapter thing. There will be other characters later, i promise! You must be patient though. Read, review, love it, hate it, don't care about it, what you had for lunch i don't care I will read and try to reply to all reviews! Enjoy ^_^ **

"Did either of you see that light too?" I asked when a bright light moved across the ceiling at one in the morning, and nothing had logically caused the stupid light to travel across the ceiling like it did. We had been talking about random stuff that was really quite pointless, but not one of the three of us wanted to go to sleep. We had just finished watching a scary movie you see, The Woman in Black. Of course, my Dad was just nice enough to turn off every single light in the house before he left for China. Since Mallory had recently gotten her license, she could drive Jess home in the morning, and so, my father left without further ado.

"Yep." "Me too." Both of my friends who were sleeping over at my house replied regarding the mysterious light. Well at least I wasn't completely crazy, that's good.

'Yea you are.'

'Shut up conscience.'

"What do you think that it was?" asked Jess, my anime friend that generally understood my freak out episodes.

"I'm just going to hide. They never look under the covers." Came Mallory's muffled reply from under the covers of her sleeping bag on the floor.

"Who doesn't look under the covers?" Jess asked skeptically

"The people trying to kill me with that demonic light, duh." Came Mal's answer.

"I'm gonna go investigate!" I declared as I got off of the chair that I was planning on sleeping on that night.

"Why! It could be a chiropteran, or something!" Jess whisper/yelled

"What's—I don't even what to know, but your Dad just left, Rachel!" Mallory called. And she did have a point, my Dad doesn't normally leave on such short notice to go on a trip to other countries, but whatever. (He be an airline pilot.)

"So? I have a weapon, don't worry!" I declared

"Rachel, a frying pan isn't a weapon! Rachel! Get back here! . . . ugh." Jess grumbled as she left her cocoon of blankets on the couch and went after me, leaving Mallory, by herself, in the living room.

"Has that girl not seen the movie Tangled? Wait, I'm alone, with a random light on a rampage in the house, talking to myself . . . I may as well get some food." She said to herself as she hopped in her sleeping bag all of the way to the kitchen, wondering just how a frying pan got into the living room in the first place. As she opened the fridge she immediately backed away and shielded her eyes.

"RACHEL! YOUR DAMN FRIDGE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" Mallory yelled as we came running to her aide, with new weapons in hand. I was still in possession of my frying pan, and Jess had picked up the proverbial baseball bat.

"Did you provoke it!" I asked dramatically.

"The fridge? I don't think so, I just wanted some food." Came her meek reply

"Technically, that could be taken as thievery, or sexual assault in the refrigerator's position." Jess listed off in a professional fashion

"Hm, maybe it plays favorites." I deduced

"Your family is so weird." Jess sighed as she always does when my family does something . . . normal for me, but I guess strange for most others. Oh well, to each their own I guess. She should come to a reunion sometime, heheh fun times all right.

"Meh, you were doomed when you moved here and met me." I said with a full smile.

"So, since your fridge likes you . . . can you get me some food?" asked Mallory as she sat down in her sleeping bag on the kitchen floor.

"Of course!" I said as I reached slowly for the handle to open the fridge.

"OH MY GODS OF MEESE!" I screamed, thus making Mallory scream, and cause Jess to flinch and smack the fridge with the bat. I doubled over laughing, and so did Jess, Mal swatted at my head, but I moved in time.

"You knew I would jump and scream, you mean, evil person." She said, feigning that she was crying. *sniffle*

"*Sniffle* I'm so sorry my friend! Forgive my ignorance!" I cried, joining in the dramatized charade. Jess walked up behind us and smashed our heads together lightly, and then proceeded to open the fridge and blind us all in a bright light. I shielded my eyes and stepped in front of Mallory (who was currently sitting in a sleeping bag, covering her face and shaking.) I could see Jess' silhouette in the light, she was also covering her eyes. The world started to swirl around in front of us, and I had this sense of falling. Then everything was lost to the darkness of what was probably unconsciousness.

**A/N: I knw its short, i apologize. The next chapter will be up momentarily. I love you readers!**


	2. Narnia

**A/N: Ok, here is the next chapter as promised. Again, please forgive my grammar . . . i know it can be bad. heheh i try though!**

**Oh yeah and disclaimer that i forgot last chapter!**

**I DO NOT own Naruto, Narnia, Nutella, or trees, but i do own a flyswatter and a frying pan.**

My head was pounding. Like some person trying to be all cool, and turning up their bass in their car as high as it will go, except, in my head. I tried to grab for my pillow, but I found a rock. I opened my eyes as fast as possible, and then shut them just a quickly. Was I still being blinded by that stupid evil fridge? I eventually got to the point to where I could see where I was, and then tried to sit up. You know in the movies when the main character gets injured, and tries to sit up, but someone is always saying, "Don't get up! You might hurt yourself!*dramatic high pitched voice*" I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE SAY THAT! Sitting up freaking HURTS! I slammed back into the ground and stared up at the sky, trying to remember what had just happened. I tried to move every part of my body at least a little, just to make sure that nothing was broken, and to my great relief, nothing was. I also realized that I had my frying pan in my hand! Therefore, I was not without a weapon! I had a small party in my head, and then tried to sit up once again being bombarded by pain. I eventually got to a sitting position, and wanted to figure out where I was. Tree, tree, . . .another tree. OOOOH vertical log!

'**That's another tree dumbass.'**

'You are so mean to me T_T.'

'**Shut up, put the pieces together, you can't possibly be this stupid. I was not put in the mind of an idiot. A crazy person, maybe, but not a stupid person!'**

'Are you done?'

'**. . . yes.'**

'Ok good. So, oh wise conscious, where are we?'

'**How am I supposed to know, I'm not real.'**

'Am I allowed to fire you?'

'**No'**

'Then shut up, you are not helping my self-esteem.' I said to the voice in my head before it shut up. I ran my fingers through my hair, and wondered briefly why it felt so gross; then I saw Jess and Mallory lying a few feet away from me. I immediately crawled over to where they were. I saw that Jess was snuggling a Nutela jar, and as I looked around a bit more I saw that there was food scattered everywhere. Right, we went through my fridge . . . great. I had unknown things growing in the back of my fridge.

"Jess. Mal. Mal, Jess wakey wakey." I said while shaking for them to wake up. I sighed a little, then I got an idea and giggled evilly.

"OMYGOD! TAEMIN! LONG TIME NO SEE MAN, HOW YOU DOIN!" The result was instant, Jessica was on her feet and looking around wildly and holding out the jar of Nutela as if it was an icon worth fearing. Then her eyes fell upon my laughing self.

"Damn you! I will get you back for this! I Pro—

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would. I promise that I will get you back, I don't know when, nor how, but mark my words Rachel L (insert some weird last name that I am too lazy to think of), I Jessica (Last name) will get you back." I gulped, when we made promises, they were final, and never unbroken. ( A habit that we picked up from watching Naruto too much.) I then gave my attention to Mallory, who still hadn't woken up, and was still in her sleeping bag.

"Mallory . . . HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO!" I yelled right into her ear, before poking her cheek in another attempt to wake her up.

"Here, let me. *Jess clears her throat* Mallory looooves Eli! *Singsong voice*" Jess sang before she had to jump out of the way.

"HELL NO!" Mallory screeched as she flew at Jess with a murderous intent.

Once we all stopped laughing, trying to kill each other, and vowing to kill each other; we came to the great and novel conclusion that we were, in fact, in a forest. Yes, we are just that smart. (Believe it.) Jess opened her Nutela jar and subconsciously started eating it a little bit at a time.

"Are we in Narnia?" Mallory asked.

"I doubt it."

"Well it's not Candyland . . . and I doubt we're in the Land of Oz. I hate that movie." Mal fumed.

"I know, there there." I absentmindedly said.

"Ok so we were all blinded by the thing-that-shall-not-be-named. Correct?" Jess asked to either Mallory or I.

"Yep, and we currently are in possession of a sleeping bag, frying pan, baseball bat, jar of nutela, peanut butter, bread, moldy sour cream, a fly swatter, car keys, and three other unknown foods." Mallory listed off on her fingers

"Why did you have peanut butter in the fridge?"

"I haven't the slightest idea." I replied as I poked one of the unknowns while they both sweat dropped.

"And we have no shoes, no water, no way to carry most of this junk, and no way to contact anyone either!"

"FREEDOM!" I cried. My fingers had turned blue from the unknown food and I smeared a little on my face; then reenacted the Braveheart movie. (Good movie, sad movie, and a great soundtrack too.)

"You're hopeless." Mal and Jess sighed in unison

"I'm aware. Ok, so down to business, we need to get moving. Nothing good is going to come from sitting here, right?"

"Right, we can cram the food and junk into the sleeping bag and take turns carrying it. Dump what we don't need." Jess stated

"Yeah, but I think that we should keep everything that we can, it might come in handy." Mal said, standing up and getting everything in order, "We can also use it to fend off the bad people in Narnia." I turned to get some of the stuff that had fallen a bit further away when I heard someone gasp really loudly. I turned to see my friends faces looking at me, and a little paler than they had been previously.

"What?"

"You-you bl-bloo- head!" Mallory stammered

"You blew up my head? What?"

"No, the back of your head in covered in blood." Came Jess's level headed reply.

"Oh, well I feel fine. Neither of you can really talk, both of you are covered in cuts and bruises too." I stated, trying to level the field.

"Yea, but—

"No buts, I'm fine dammit!" I yelled, turning around and picking up what was left of the scattered supplies. I didn't need them to worry about me; we needed to figure out where the heck we were, and why we were here.

"We are only worried about you, don't get defensive missy." Mal scolded like a mom.

"I know, but you don't need to worry about me, I swear I'm fine." I ensured with softer eyes. (My 'serious' look, works almost every time)

We packed up and started walking, and walking, and then walking some more. It was very fun, especially when none of us had any shoes. Lucky for us, there was a lot of grass everywhere. Then my mind had a stupid thought. (Shocker) I started laughing at myself a little.

"What're you all giddy about?" Mallory asked

"Omygoodness, haha, we could be in grass country. Get it Jess? Grass?" I said with crazed eyes.

"Jess, I think that she lost it."

"I honestly never had the knowledge that she had ever been in possession if 'it'."

"Where's grass country?"

"In an an-ani-anime. That's definitely not possible though, right?" Jess asked, looking at Mal.

"Hey don't look at me, anime is more of your thing, not mine. I'm still convinced that we're in Narnia." She said, putting her hands up a little in defense.

"Rachel. Snap out of it, it's brainstorm time." Jess yelled at me, but it didn't register at all. I was way too far gone, this doesn't happen often, but every now and then something can set me off into my stupid mode. It's honestly kind of embarrassing.

"Jess, what if *British accent* what if the Akatsuki, just popped here right now*popping gesture*hehe Akatsuki."

SMACK!

That was the beautiful sound of Jessica hitting a pressure point on Rachel's neck hard enough to make her pass out for a short amount of time.

"Don't you think that was a little harsh Jess?"

". . . Nah. She should wake up in a few minutes anyway." She reassured her friend and herself.

Meanwhile . . .

What was that? He wondered as he felt a massive chakra spike for a fleeting moment. For a second he questioned his sanity, but his student gave him a strange look.

"Did you feel it too?"

"Yes, do you have any idea what that was sensei?"

"What what was?"

"There was a chakra spike, a really big one." Stated the girl in their group.

"Should we go see what it was? Or leave it?" asked the first boy

"If something, or someone has that much chakra at their disposal, then it is definitely worth checking out."

"Or taking out." The boy sneered

"What if they're on our side, or innocent?"

"Doubt it."

"Let's go kids."

"Ok, sensei." They said in unison

**A/N: I hope that you like it! This chapter is a bit longer so yay! REview por favor!**


	3. Meeting the Ninjas

**A/N: Ok here's another chapter . . . the lines seem a bit more spaced out to me but whatever. Read and Review please and thank you! **

"You said that she would wake up in five minutes."

"I said a few minutes. Actually."

"It's been at least a half an hour."

"Do you have a watch?"

"No, but that is beside the point. She should've woken up by now, what if she's in a coma!" Mallory mumbled

My head hurt again. Why does it hurt again? Hmm, oh right Jessica freaking did the Vulcan pressure point thing of doom, and I passed out. Well, she probably did it for a good reason I guess. I should probably wake up, I don't wanna wake up.

'Hey, conscience?'

'**What?'**

'How was your day?'

'**Quite similar to yours.'**

'Really?'

'**You do realize that I am you, and you are me right?'**

'Yep.'

'**So you are talking to yourself in your mind.'**

'Uh-huh.'

'**Like an idiot.'**

'HA!'

'**What?'**

'You just insulted yourself!'

'**Oh. My. God. I'm leaving.'**

'Goodbye, voice in my head.'

I sat up, almost running into my friends faces. Why were they hunkered down next to my face, weirdos.

"Can I help you?"

"We thought that you were never going to wake up because of the wound in your head that keeps bleeding. We thought that you could die of an infection before you would wake up because we have no cleaning stuff an—

"Mallory!" I shouted at medium volume causing her to stop babbling.

"Yes?"

"I'm fine, worry about your own injuries for once, ok?" I said, standing up.

"Where do you think that you are going?"

"We need to move, this place is giving me the creeps. I feel like there are ninjas watching me or som—ow!" I yelled as I felt something hit my cheek and I was now face to face with a familiar-looking yellow haired man.

"How did you sense our presence?" he asked quickly while three kids came from the trees to land in the clearing.

"Answer me, girl." He asked again, this time a bit slower, but at least his voice wasn't angry. I brought my hand up to where what I now figured to be a kunai, had lightly grazed my cheek just moments before.

"I-I, this can't be happening." I stuttered and gave Jess a glance. She was frozen on the spot, and staring at who I guessed to be Kakashi and Obito.

"Oh my god, you're Minato Namikaze, The Yellow Flash. Holy crap."

"No way, we have to be hallucinating. Maybe the fumes from whatever was in your fridge put us in some sort of weird state of mind?" Jess pondered out loud

"Am I the _only _person her that has absolutely no idea what is going on?" Mallory asked no one in particular.

"Nope, I'm fairly confused too. My name is Obito Uchiha, what's yours?" asked the dark haired ninja.

"I'm Mallory, nice to meet you Obito."

"Obito! What do you think you are doing! They could be the enemy!" Shouted Kakashi.

"Yea I'm very scared of her kitty cat clothes and messy hair, they could totally be Iwagakure ninja with absolutely no pride I'm sure." Obito quipped sarcastically talking about her pajamas and hair.

"Rachel."

"What?"

"He doesn't have the, you know what, you know where." Jess said with her eyes wide while pointing dumbly at Kakashi, and speaking in code about sharingan.

"Oh crap." I sighed smacking my forehead, which really didn't help my growing headache. This meant that Obito (obviously hadn't died yet, and judging by our whereabouts, it was going to happen fairly soon.)

"How do you know our names? Where are you from? How did you get here?" Minato asked while glancing around the immediate vicinity.

"Where did you say we were?" I questioned

"Kusagakure, during the Third Great Shinobi War I'm afraid." He said with a sigh. My eyes were probably huge right now, but that's what some forms of shock will do to you.

"Well, this is not good. Um, sorry, our names are Rachel, Jess, and Mallory. We're from a place known as Turtl, Colorado. And the rest you would not believe us, but we aren't spies, nor are we even ninjas." I said while hanging my head, then holding my stupid head with both of my hands while kind of rubbing my temples.

"Why would we believe you, there was a massive chakra spike, probably from you three, not thirty minutes ago. You mean to tell me, that you can't wield chakra? You even know my name, but I guess that only means that you aren't enemies then." He said with a small smile as he sat down, but probably kept his guard up.

"Rachel, a chakra spike? Randomly meeting these guys, a chakra spike, we're in a fanfiction!" She whispered loudly across the clearing while shielding her mouth so they wouldn't see what she was saying." As if that would help.

"Why aren't we enemies? What's chakra? I am so lost right now, and hungry, and tired, an—

"We aren't enemies," Obito interjected," because you three aren't running away from sensei, like our enemies are ordered to right now. And chakra is quite confusing, and I don't feel like explaining it since I'm a horrible teacher." Mallory made a face that confirmed that she had heard him, but had absolutely no idea what he meant. I now regretted not forcing her to watch at least a few episodes of Naruto.

"So what are we going to do now? These guys are on a mission, right?" Jess asked me, but everything felt kinda fuzzy and my head was on fire. And there were shadow clones, of everyone. Then there was a lot of yellow and maroon in my face, such strange colors. I think that someone was talking to me, but it sounded like a slowed down youtube video, with water. I wonder just how I ended up on the ground, hehe. Those were my last crazed thoughts, before I passed out for the second time today.

~ Minato POV~

"What happened to her? How long ago did it happen? And why didn't you do anything about it?" Rin demanded fiercely while putting a green thing under Rachel's bloody, and unconscious head.

"It happened, I would guess, about half an hour ago. We saw it, but she repeatedly said that she was fine. We shouldn't have believed her." Jess fumed while Rin started healing her head.

"What an idiot, trying to keep going with a head wound like that." Kakashi stated in monotone, sometimes I think that boy should've been born an Uchiha.

SMACK, that was the sound of Mallory attempting to hit Kakashi with a . . . frying pan (and hitting a tree instead), but of course he dodged. Sadly, he dodged and went into the waiting sting of a . . . a flyswatter. And here I am thinking that I taught the boy better.

"How dare you say that about our friend!" yelled both girls, making me cringe with the volume and high pitch of their voices. We were still in enemy territory after all. I saw Kakashi reach for a kunai, no doubt seeing these girls as a risk to the precious mission in his mind. I sighed.

"Kakashi put the weapon away, and you two need to be quiet. We are in enemy territory and I don't wish to be found." I stated as both girls shut up quickly," Now, Kakashi, she probably just didn't want her friends to worry, get over it. You two, we need to talk. How did you get here?" I asked as calmly as I could

"You wouldn't believe us, even if we told you." Came Jess' solemn mumble before Mallory came over to where they we standing.

"Well, *Big intake of breath* A fridge-that-shall-not-be-named got pissed off and after it tried to burn our retina's, it magically transported us here with most of the contents in Rachel's fridge, and I'm pretty sure that she landed on a rock when we fell from the sky through a few trees. Am I the only one who sees the giant mushrooms that are growing on the trees?" asked Mal innocently

"No, they're real."

"Thanks Obito."

**A/N: and more to come later! I love you all! peace!**


	4. What Happens Next

**A/N: This chapter is slightly longer, I hope that helps! And Thankyouthankyou thankyou for all of the reviews and favs! You are all awesome! Cookies for all! Also, i'm not positive on all of the time tables here, but i hope i got most of them right. I'm sorry for mistakes, but i am only human.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah i don't own Naruto or his Dad. I do own a jar of Nutela though, but i will go eat it soon. :)**

"You came from a fridge?" I asked, incredulous

"Told you that you wouldn't believe us." Jess stated

"You didn't mention that it would be so, so strange."

"You're telling me." Jess mumbled, still scooping very tiny amounts of Nutela from the jar, trying to save as much of it as she could for later.

"How do you know about us?" asked Rin, who was now done healing Rachel.

"Hm, good guess?" Jess questioned with a sheepish look on her face.

"We aren't from this world, Minute-o." Mallory chided," Where we come from, you aren't real. To us, you are nothing more than a story that I know next to nothing about, can you understand our disbelief?"

"Sensei?"

"Yes, Kakashi?"

"I think they escaped some village's mental ward."

"That thought has also crossed my mind."

"I like them!"

"Shut up Obito."

"Sensei!"

"Obito!"

"Kakashi!"

"Sensei!"

"RACHEL!" came Rachel's voice from where she was now sitting. "What? Don't give me that look, I felt left out of the screaming match."

"You, you BAKA!" screamed Jess as she slapped Rachel's face, and then hugged her. "Don't ever do that again dammit!"

"Ok, I won't." She complied as she hugged her back.

"Wow, I feel loved." Mal mumbled as they hugged her too.

"This is all very touching, but as of right now, you all claim to be from a world where we are fictional, and a magical fridge brought you all here?" I listed questioningly

"Yep."

~ Back to Rachel POV ~

"And you expect us to believe you?" Kakashi spat at us

"We can't expect you to believe something that we are still trying to figure out ourselves, but it's the truth. Whether or not you believe it is irrelevant. As far as the fictional thing, ask me a question regarding Kohona, or your past. Or I could scare you with some info?" I asked thinking that option over in my head (which doesn't hurt anymore), then deciding that I might end up getting killed that way.

"What's my last name?" Kakashi asked.

"Too easy, Kakashi Ha-ta-ke." I scoffed pronouncing each syllable of his last name slowly, even Jess snickered at the ease of the question.

"What is my clan's bloodline limit?" asked Obito.

"Uchiha equals Sharingan!" Jess exclaimed, being the Uchiha expert here, making Obito sink his head in defeat.

"What do I plan to name my child?" asked Minato with an arrogant smirk.

"Naruto." Jess and I answered in unison making his eyes widen in shock.

"Your son? Sensei, you don't have a kid." Rin pointed out.

"Not yet, but I will soon." He answered, now concerned about what he had just heard.

"Well, either you are telling the truth, or you are really good spies without chakra." Minato deduced.

"Haha, our spy skills begin with a frying pan and end with the Mission Impossible theme song.*weird looks* Just trust me we couldn't last 3 minutes as spies."

"Nope!" Jess agreed.

"I would! They would cower in fear of the flyswatter, like Kakashi!" Mallory exclaimed

"I do _not_ fear that . . . thing." Kakashi said with an evil aura around him.

"In any event, what are we going to do now? I mean we aren't ninja, so the odds of us getting out of here alive are fairly slim at best." I said

"Plus, we would get in the way of whatever mission that you happen to be on, and that could cause further injury to yourselves." Jess added.

"And I have absolutely no idea what is going on!" Mal said happily while pointing in the air like an idiot.

"It seems like they are happy to be so helpless." Obito whispered to Kakashi, who nodded.

"They are strange indeed, their clothes are weird too." The white haired kid whispered back.

"Hey! If _you_ were transported to a strange fictional land in the middle of the night completely unaware would you have your normal clothes on? I didn't think so." Jess yelled when he didn't respond and I gave her a high five.

Minato sighed and stared intently at the ground, he must've been in really deep thought.

"We'll take you with us for now." Minato finally concluded in an uncertain voice.

"Really!" I exclaimed

"We're doomed." Jess pouted.

"I'll just be worried since I'm still wondering who everyone is." Mallory muttered.

"Sensei? Can we get an explanation?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, we definitely can't leave them here, they would just die. I know that they aren't ninja, but that chakra came from somewhere. Besides, one should never underestimate the power of survival. I for one think that they could rise to the occasion, if the situation demanded it of them." The yellow flash explained to his students.

"Don't underestimate the power of annoyance!" I cried.

"Or randomness!"

"Or rotten food!" Mallory yelled.

"If you think that they can rise up to the power of survival . . . then why can't we leave them here?" Kakashi demanded.

"They need to get home. Even though their story sounds really stupid, in my experience the stupid, crazy stories are usually the truth." Minato explained. For the first time yet, that thought crossed my mind. How are we going to get home? I was suddenly extremely grateful that we were found by the Fourth Hokage, and that he wanted to help us. I felt the need to give him a hug.

"But what about your mission?" Asked Jess warily.

"I consider you friends, and that should be enough of an explanation." He said. "I only ask that you try not to be so loud, and use common sense. We are in enemy territory, and I would try to capture or kill you if I was on their side." We all probably died a little inside, captured? Jess and I had read about the main character of Fanfictions getting captured by the enemy before and surviving, but this was real. (Probably)

"Really?"

"Well, yeah, I mean you seem to have a lot of informa—

"Not that part, I knew that, but the friends part. You just met us, and are already calling us your friends. I mean, you barely know us, we could be . . . uh aliens or something."

"Or crazy!" Jess added.

"Or genetic mutations that are programmed to seem like regular teenage girls, but are really crazed psychopathic killers with a bloodlust that rivals that one guy from the first Twilight movie and his ginger girlfriend." Mallory rattled off, receiving nods of affirmation from us, and O.o looks from everyone else.

"I didn't like those movies."

"Me neither."

"My favorite character was Tyler Crowley."

"Who was that?"

"That great guy who almost ran over Bella with a van."

"He was so close too."

*Group sigh*

". . . Well, I may not have really considered those . . . possibilities before now, but if they happen to be true, I will be near to kill you." Minato explained with a little creepy smile.

O.O

"Well that's good!" I exclaimed as Jess got a look of horror on her face.

"Why is that good? No suicide! Live on, and there is more to life than the depression you are in now!" Jess yelled at my face, while shaking my shoulders erratically.

"I don't think that she was alluding to that Jess. I think she meant it more in the *dramatic voice* "I could never live with myself if I ever put anyone in danger! Oh, just kill me now I am not worthy. *dies*" Mallory proclaimed in a dramatized manner.

"Well . . . um I meant that I don't think that I am an alien, and if I was it would probably be something similar to the aliens out of Alien vs. Predator. In which case I would die anyway, but I would personally rather die by kunai than by some creepy alien baby popping out of my stomach." I stated sheepishly.

"Is it too late to ditch them Sensei?" Kakashi whispered.

"I think so." The Fourth Hokage replied.

"Damn."

Thus, began our journey with Team Minato. I did not envy them . . . at all. It's not that we were horribly annoying, but we definitely tried their tolerance level. We weren't screaming our heads off or anything, but we did start talking in code about random stuff, inside jokes, and said about every other word in what little Spanish that we know. When they didn't know what we were saying they got very annoyed. ^_^

We stayed with their team, and travelled with them for a grand total of two days before something interesting happened. Those two days consisted of walking, jumping on the giant mushrooms, talking about getting home, and sleeping on a nice, hard ground. It was actually fun though, considering that no one had tried to kill us yet. This surprised me since normally there is a long and drawn-out adventure where emotions are tested and ect, ect. This is what happened instead.

"Idea!" Mallory cried.

"Please don't tell me that it involves singing, I spy, pantalones, or . . . iCarly." Kakashi pleaded slightly.

"No, even though those are all great ideas, this idea is about how to get home!" Everyone stared at her as if she had bird poop on her face.

"What? Just because I know nothing about ninjas doesn't mean that I'm not perceptive enough to learn by eavesdropping." She explained with an innocent smile.

"Okay, then tell us!"

"Yes, please." Said Kakashi sarcastically.

"Him." She explained by pointing at the Fourth Hokage who looked confused.

"You are going to have to give a bit more of an explanation I'm afraid." Minato replied with a quizzical look on his face.

"Okay, um . . . you know how you were talking about that jit-tzu thingy. –jutsu- yea whatever. Well you said something about it being about to teleport you through space and time right? So, what if you, say, teleported us home?" She explained while moving her hands a lot.

"Is that possible?"

"I don't know Rin, but it is the closest thing that we have to an answer right now." Minato answered.

"I think that we should try it." I said.

"Me too."

"Me tres."

**A/N: I hope you liked! REview please! Thank you for reading!**


	5. Timetables

**A/N: Ok don't kill me! I'm not sure if any of the jutsuness is completely legit in this chapter, but it's how I want it to be so. Yea. THANK YOU FOR NICE REVIEWS AND CONTRUCTIVE CRITISISM! I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!**

**And I made a big mistake, turns out I'm an idiot and it's not Kohona, it's Konoha . Thank you anonymous reviewer for your correction. (It's my lysdixia kicking in lol)**

**Disclaimer: Yea yea don't own Naruto and friends. Enjoy! **

So, here we are now, sitting on top of a giant mushroom thing, being briefed by Minato. The scary part is that he gave us all one of his kunai, even me. (I love my stabby things too much, like this one time I had a knife—SMACK "get back to the story"—whoops)

"Why give us some of your sweet looking kunai knives?" Jess asked while watching to see if either Mal or I would stab something that shouldn't be stabbed.

"Well, I think that the teleportation will go better if all of you have a seal with you. Also, if this doesn't work, you will at least have a weapon and some hope of defending yourselves when you get to wherever you end up." He explained to us with a sad smile . . . I was now having second thoughts, but it was too late to back out now.

"Also, if you throw the kunai with chakra in the immediate vicinity, or if the kunai is infused with your chakra—if you ever get any—I will probably appear. Only use that if you are in grave danger though, as you will only be able to do that once per kunai." We all nodded in sync. This guy was not giving us a lot of confidence that we were going home, but at least he wasn't giving us false hope or something. I glanced at both Jess and Mallory and they met my eyes. We were all going to pee our pants or something, I could tell.

Minato walked a little ways away from us and rapidly performed a few hand-seals.

"I think this would go better if all of you linked arms or something, we don't want you all to get sent to different places/times/or whatever. (We rapidly linked arms) Also, this may be a little bumpy and you will probably hit the ground hard since you aren't ninjas, please don't stab each other during the jutsu, and be careful girls, there is no telling what you will find when the jutsu completes. I can only try my hardest to get you three home." Minato said, and I think that was the most I had ever heard the guy talk at once.

"Thank you." I sort of yelled

"Thank you so much!" Mal yelled louder

"Arigato, Gracias, Merci, Thank You!" Jess yelled

"Um . . . sure. Well, here we go." Minato started to look very seriously at the ground by our feet. The air around us suddenly became very thick with what I guessed was chakra. It felt like one of those reeeeally tense moments, like when someone punches a teacher in the face, but magnified by about 67%. Then there was a feeling similar to passing out, and then I was falling through the air. I could hear loud screaming all around me. That, I soon realized, was Mallory and I screaming. We could see the ground beneath us, and coming towards us very fast. Before I knew it something rammed into my side and I was sitting on the ground right next to Mallory and Jess.

I looked up and saw three short silhouettes and two taller ones.

"Who are these people Kakashi-sensei?"

"And why did you bother rescuing them?"

"WHY ARE THEY HERE!"

"Well, when I heard the screaming, I instantly remembered something, or someone, from my very distant past." Came a calm voice that could only belong to one person.

"Kakashi?"

"No way."

"Where did the mushrooms go? And why does that kid yell so loud? Is he a criminal? *insert scream* Who squishededededed the rotten peanut-butter sandwiches!" Mallory rambled

"Yeah, no mistaking it. It's them all right, I take it Minato-sensei's jutsu didn't work?" Kakashi asked with a sigh.

"I guess the time part worked." I mumbled sheepishly while glancing at Jess who was busy glaring at Sasuke.

"Great, well I guess you have to tag along then, come on. I'm sure you two know Tazuna?"

"I've never mat these two in my life, who are they?" demanded the older man.

"Wel—

"You may not know us, but we know you!" I exclaimed with a creepy smile as I interrupted Kakashi.

"You are Tazuna the Bridge Builder!" Jess explained

"You have a daughter named Tsunami and a grandson named Inari!" I also told the guy

"You are also pissing off a very short man currently, but are too cheap to tell anyone!" Jess said.

"No he isn't too cheap, he can't afford it, baka!"

"Well he could if he really needed to!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Why is your hair chicken-like?" Mallory asked Sasuke while poking his head. He flinched, but before Sasuke could do anything, Sakura almost took Mallory out. Luckily, she hit the ground and crawled away like a crazy person to hide behind me. As, if I would help her out of this.

"His hair does not resemble a chicken!" screamed a very angry Sakura.

"Yeah, it kind of does; you could call it a goose butt also. The wings being his bangs." Mallory stated

"Mal?" I asked

"Hm?"

"You're a lucky person."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"So how in the hell do you know all of that stuff about me?" Tazuna demanded of us since we were getting a little off topic. Before Kakashi could come up with an excuse we started talking, which was probably not smart.

"We're spies!" I cheered.

"We prefer the term professional intelligence gatherers of awesomeness." Jess added.

"Or PIGA for short." Mal continued.

"The three of us know everything about everyone!"

"Or at least the relevant people."

"And the relevant things."

"We don't know, nor care, what you had for lunch last Friday."

"Or your opinion on public restrooms."

"Because none of those things matter."

"So, the three of you are similar to ANBU?" Sasuke asked, as Jess and I proceeded to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Did he just compare us to ninjas Jess?"

"I think he compared us not only to ninjas, but to ANBU . . . which is hilarious." Jess answered.

"You see Mr. Chicken/Goose Butt Hair, we know all about you, but we have no chalk-rah, and we are far from ninjas. Don't underestimate us though, even Kakashi has felt the wrath of my personal weapon of choice. Plus we have mastered the powers of annoyance, rotten food, and utterly random teenage girl conversations. Fear us." Mallory explained with a hint of dark humor.

**A/N: I know it's a little short, but meh. I try to make them longer. I really do! Review!**


	6. What Goes Right When Things Go Wrong

**A/N: I know that this chapter is really short, forgive me. I am almost done with the next chapter. Also, after the next chapter I probably won't be able to update for about 2 weeks, but then it will be summer for me, so lot's of updating(hopefully)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, rawr. Who likes pizzelles?**

"I don't get it. What weapon did you use on Kakashi-sensei that would ever be effective? Besides those pervy books." Naruto asked, scratching his head in confusion.

"It was a very long time ago Na—

"A FLYSWATTER OF AWESOMENESS AND DOOM!" Mallory exclaimed whipping out the said weapon of choice, "I smacked him right across the face too!"

"Maybe I should just leave you three here to fend off bandits and wild animals by yourselves." Kakashi mumbled

"Sensei, I think that they would hinder our mission. We should leave them here and get them on the way back." Sakura said with an air of snottiness, and it annoyed me that she basically repeated what he had just mumbled to himself. I was seriously thinking about throwing rotten something(we haven't decided what food it is yet) at her.

"Sakura, it would be like leaving three children in a cage with a bear. A hungry bear with little patience and giving them something to throw at it in order to make the poor beast even more mad. In other words, I don't want the guilt of making some poor soul who happens to find these girls on my conscience." Kakashi stated rather rudely.

"I like them!" Naruto yelled, pointing at the three of us with a cheesy grin on his face.

"We like you too Naruto!"

"Ok well, in any event, we must keep going and they are coming. We are on a mission here, I'm going to guess that you know all about it?" Kakashi asked us with an eye crinkle.

"More than you know scarecrow . . . I just rhymed, ew." I cringed and started wiping my tongue with my hand.

"Strange girl." Tazuna muttered.

"We're aware." The three of us replied back.

Then we just started to walk, and walk, and then walk some more. Walking must be a ninja thing. Cars are a bit faster though.

"Are we there yet?"

"No." Kakashi sighed.

"How about now?" I asked.

"He just said no." Sakura answered for Kakashi.

"Yea, then he said no, but now it's now and for all I know we may have arrived in the small window of time between then and now!" Mal fumed with a crazed look.

"C'mon guys, we're probably gonna be stuck with these guys for a long time. At least cut them a bit of slack for a day or so." Jess suggested.

"Okokok, fine. We'll give them a few days, or until we get really bored or something." Mal said with a pout. I think I heard her muttering about Narnians, but then again I can be deaf sometimes.

We walked on with minimal talking until Mallory tripped over a puddle that I had made a point to avoid. I reached out and grabbed Mal's arm before she hit the ground. I always seem to be the one to catch her *sigh* (Like this one time when she almost got kicked in the face by this horse—SMACK! get back to the story dammit—okok you are so mean) I knew what that puddle meant, but I couldn't let everyone else know that! Besides Kakashi who probably had already figured it out by now.

"Geez, Mal how do you think the puddle felt about you trying to take it out like that? You gotta be more careful, the puddle people might get you." Ok, so I'm bad at being discreet, sue me.

"Yeah right, like that would ever happen." Mallory answered as she kept walking forward. I glanced at Jess and she met my gaze. She knew what was about to go down and was getting ready also. Tazuna wasn't going to get hurt, so we were gonna grab Mal and hide behind the drunk guy. Fail-proof plan, right? Wrong! So very, very wrong. Just . . . no. Here's what happened.

The chains suddenly wrapped around 'Kakashi' and Jess and I lunged for where Mal had previously been. You see, Mallory has an abnormally active 'flight' reflex, therefore she as soon as those chains were around Kakashi she started running. No big deal right? Wrong again, Mallory is a track star that excels in long distance, very fast long distance. Add in the adrenaline and we were doomed. I took a deep breath and started to run after her, Jess stayed behind so she could tell Kakashi where we were going, well the direction we were headed at least.

Mallory and I have been friends since preschool. (seriously) We weigh the same, have the same blondish-brownish color hair, and are almost the exact same height (she has recently gotten a smidge taller). Due to our inseparableness we have been in every single sport together, including track. She just has a lot more motivation than me when it comes to the two-mile run(and most things). Regardless, my coach still had me practice with her. Blah blah, long story short, I can almost match her speed, so here I am trying to catch a Mallory. *sigh* I hate running.

~Jess POV~

Stupid Sasuke. Being all heroic now, but then being such an ass later in the series. Then he kills his brother who was trying to *ramble~censored~ramble*. Stupid Sasuke.

The little skirmish was over now, and Naruto is going on about I forget what, and stabbing himself with the kunai to get the poison out of his system. I think that Sakura has noticed me glaring at Sasuke, but rawr to her.

"Jess, where did Rachel and Mallory go?" Kakashi asked as he walked towards me with a grim expression.

"Uh, that way." I said, pointing in the direction they ran off in, "Mallory got scared and took off, Rachel went to get here."

"Great. Do they know what could happen to them?" Kakashi asked no one in particular.

"That's the thing Kakashi, Mallory doesn't, and she's fast." I replied, worried a bit more now.

"Not as fast as me. Now, I want you all to stay on this path and keep walking, there shouldn't be another confrontation soon. I'm going after those two, with all of the noise that they will be making they'll get killed by something." Kakashi stated

"Kakashi, I respect you and all, but don't sell them short. They have managed to smack a jounin in the face with a flyswatter, and they have friends in some high places." I replied with a smirk.

"You don't think that would still work do you?" He asked

"Who knows, we got here, didn't we?" before I could really finish my sentence he was gone, I hate being ignored. I turned to Sasuke, who looked like he was going to say something to me and slapped his face.

"Never let your guard down." I told him with a big smile on my face. That felt good.

"What the heck was that for!" he demanded as Sakura looked speechless and Naruto was trying not to fall over laughing.

"No reason, let's start walking." I was just surprised that it worked, and he didn't block me or punch me in the face in retaliation.

**A/N: I apologize again for the short chapter T_T I sorry, but seriously, who even knows what a Pizzelle is? O.o Review please!**


	7. Fighting

**A/N: Ok this chapter isn't as long as I had wanted it to be, but it will have to satisfy you for now. Ok, now I'm sorry, but I will not be able to update for about the next three weeks. I will be at my Mom's house. (Divorced parents in case you wanna know) and I wanna thank mysti13, Suki Miko, Loki7744, lizifang, Shadow D. Princess, OragamiBlueAngel, BAYALE, SaphiraEragon,and larkspurRND for all of the amazing reviews, alerts, and favorites. You are all amazing and awesome!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist **

~Mallory POV~

As soon as I saw those chains wrap around the Kakshe guy I knew that we were definitely NOT in Narnia. In Narnia everyone announces their intention, then attacks. Well, sometimes. Either way, I was outta there, at high speeds, and I wasn't about to look back either. Some part of my mind knew that this was stupid, but the other part knew that Rachel would come for me. She always did, or wanted to at least. Right now, though, I was hell-bent on running until I dropped, or was tackled I guess. Which is, ironically, what happened moments later.

"Holy ***deep breath*** crap ***pant*** stop running***pant*** dammit." Rachel sort of spit out as she slowly got off of me (she tackled me remember).

"Ow." I stated as I rubbed the hip that I landed on, "You didn't have to go all line-backer on me."

"Please, if you wouldn't go all cross-country on me I wouldn't have to. *deep breath* Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out here! You could've been killed! Don't freaking do that, I can't always be there to protect you!" she yelled as she contradicted herself. Considering we should probably be quiet and stuff. I mentally sighed as she yelled at me a little more. I know she means well, but I don't need as much protection as she thinks. I love her to death (as a friend), but she can be overbearing sometimes. My poor first boyfriend, I hope he has forgiven her for what she did.

"Are you listening!" Rachel yelled at me while snapping in front of my fingers like Roy Mustang.

"Yes, Mustang." I retorted back.

"It's a good thing that I can't use Flame Alchemy!" She roared back.

"Hn." I huffed, pouting. At least I know a little about Fullmetal Alchemist, yay anime knowledge.*Note the sarcasm* I looked into her angry hazel eyes and glared the best that I could.

~Rachel POV~

Oh, so she wanted a staring contest? Bring. IT. ON. I glared knives into her light blue eyes, waiting for her to yield and look away. After two minutes of a very intense staring contest Kakashi found us and demanded to know why we had left. Neither of us moved an inch.

"Rachel? Mallory? Hello? What are you two doing now?" He asked us. We kept up our contest. I smiled a little and winked at Mal. This was our signal (one of many). This particular signal meant act like we hate each other's guts in order to piss people off. I would win the staring contest later. Now it was time to mess with people, and swear words were allowed.

"You are such a bitch!" She screamed at me making Kakashi whip his head around in shock.

"I'm a bitch? You're a coward for running away!" I spat back

"So I wouldn't die! Jeez you are SUCH A WHORE!"

"That didn't even make sense you f****** dumbass!" I yelled, trying not to smile at our act. We kept going back and forth, each sentence getting a bit more colorful. Kakashi finally intervened.

"Hey ladies, what is goi—

"STAY OUT OF IT!" We screamed at him in unison. His eye twitched a little.

"GIRLS! WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING ABOUT?" He bellowed over our yelling.

"Did he just interrupt me before I insulted you again?" I asked Mallory calmly.

"Yep, and he was yelling too." Mal replied.

"You are NOT a part of this Scarecrow!" I told him forcefully.

"Yeah! Do you have any idea why we are yelling and what I had for lunch the other day? NEITHER DO I!" Mal yelled at poor Kakashi, at this rate Kakashi was going to leave us to fend for ourselves instead of helping us.

"Yeah! KAKASHI DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY THE PLURAL OF MOOSE ISN'T MEESE? This is clearly relevant in this argument." I stated as he gave each of us a 'look'. We are familiar with this look. It is a look that says 'Who are these people and what the f*** are they doing?' . . . we get this look a lot. I wonder how much longer we could antagonize this poor ninja.

"That is quite enough ladies," He said through clenched teeth, "I do not know nor care what you had for lunch the other day Mallory. Rachel, meese sounds stupid, that's why. Also, I already asked you why you are yelling, I believe."

"False." I corrected, "You asked us what we were fighting about. Which is a stupid question because what we were fighting about has nothing to do with you unless you happen to know exactly what Mallory thinks, and why she does what she does when she does it. *insert very fake girly voice here* Duh."

"So you are done fighting then?" He asked with a smirk.

"We never said that." Mallory said.

"Actually, she did." Kakashi stated as he pointed at me. "she said 'what we _were_ fighting about. Past tense, you two are just intentionally trying to antagonize me right now."

"Damn. Well, it's about time that someone figured it out." I sighed; we had been confusing our friends with that trick for years. The only one who has ever figured out that we have never once had a real fight was Jess.

"Generally it's the best part when they try to break up our argument and fail. The looks on their faces are priceless, like yours was at first." Mallory told Kakashi.

"Well, all admit it caught me off guard, especially the 'colorful' part, but I'm actually surprised that no one has found out yet . . . I wonder what my students would do, hm." The ninja wondered out loud, not so subtly telling us to fightright in front of his students.

"We would love to." I said with a tiny curtsy and a grin.

"We would? My voice hurts, I wonder if Jess still has some Nutella in that jar of hers." Pondered the tall girl.

"We have to get back to them, they are probably wondering what happened to you two. Let's go girls." Said the Jounin as Mal and I looked at each other a burst out laughing. I can't believe Kakashi just said 'Let's go girls.' After he gave us a very helplessly confused look we started to follow him back towards the team, still laughing.

Walking. I'm beginning to loathe it. It can be so boring, no action packed ninja fights of doom, or whatever.

'**Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine.'**

'I thought that I fired you?'

'**No, I took a temporary leave, remember?'**

'No.'

'**Shocker. So have you figured out anything yet?'**

'_Have you_?'

'**. . . no.'**

'Didn't think so.'

'**Hey I'm trapped in here 24/7! I stay busy enough trying to keep your sanity in check.'**

'You do that?'

'**Yes!'**

'You are so mean to me T_T'

'**You are infuriating to think to!'**

'I have to have you in my HEAD!'

'**I have to BE in your head!'**

'Hey, look.'

'**At what?'**

'HA!'

' **. . .?'**

'Hey, LISTEN!'

'**OH NO, YOU WILL NOT DO THAT NAVI THING WITH **_**ME **_**MISSY!**'

'Hehehe.'

'**I need a vacation, by the way you are about to run into a tree, or **_**vertical log**_**, as you sometimes call them..'**

I quickly moved to the right so I would avoid the 'tree'. There was no tree, and I happened to run straight into Naruto and managed to shove him to the ground somehow. Oops.

'**I can't believe you fell for that.'**

'Wow, you are hilarious indeed.'

'**Plus, I'm you therefore you are technically fighting with yourself, and you were just tricked by yourself.'**

'. . . Damn.'

"Sorry Naruto, I had a feeling that I was about to run into a tree just now." I apologized, helping him up.

"Does that happen often?" he asked while rubbing his butt where he landed.

"Kinda." I replied sheepishly while finally realizing that we were back together as a group.

"Oh wait, HA reunion!" I yelled and immediately getting smacked upside the head by none other than my other best friend Jess. She looked very pleased about something.

"Did you punch Sasuke while we were gone?" I asked randomly getting only a sheepish grin in return.

"Who's Sas-kay?" Mal asked, trying to figure out who we were referring to.

"Chicken/goose ass hair." I answered as I started to follow the group down the windy road.

"Oh, it sounds like sauce, you know, as in tomato sauce. Then gay, as in happy or homosexual. He must've been teased as a child, making him the cold, mean pre-pubescent boy that he is." Mallory rambled off.

"He's mean because of other reasons, even though they're unwarranted." I replied calmly and quietly, knowing full well that he could hear me. I glanced up to where he was, walking a little ways in front of me. I could tell that he was really ticked off, but oh well, he'll figure it out eventually.

**A/N: I love all of you, and I'm sorry that I won't be ab;e to update, but I know that I will be making Aristotle29 happy bcuz I will finally update my other stories! YAY! Ok, peace! Review!**


	8. Blah

**A/N: Okay I know that you all must hate me for not updating. I am sorry. I meant to, but I have been busy with stuff and blah blah excuse excuse. Point is I DID update YAYz. Hope you like!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, do own a phone with a blue and silver case that has absolutely nothing to do with this story.**

I must be getting some serious muscles from all of this walking. No wonder all ninjas are buff, never mind the actual fighting, it's the getting there that's tough! I mean when my friends and I go to anime cons we walk pretty far, especially when we are looking for something/someone, but this was nuts! First I had to run after Mal, then we started walking and haven't stopped yet. Which brings us to what is happening now.

"Are we there yet?" I asked in a tired voice. The three of us were about 10 feet behind the ninjas and were really dragging our feet.

"Don't start that again . . ." Tazuna whined. I shot a dirty look to the back of his head.

"Mal, I'm bored." I complained to her, mostly to annoy the ninjas because I'm evil like that.

"So am I." She replied.

"Oh SHIT!" Jess exclaimed as we all whipped our heads to look at her.

"What?" Mal asked.

"We had a Spanish test last Monday, a chemistry test on Tuesday, an American history project due, and what about homework!" She questioned us with sheer dread evident in her eyes. Mallory and I glanced at each other and looked back at Jess. To us this didn't even matter, but we couldn't risk a rage attack from Jess right now. We needed her level-headedness to keep us alive and stuff.

"Jess, I'm sure that we have been reported missing and the teacher's will pardon us, calm down." Mal told her reassuringly.

"What if they don't! May grade point average will be screwed! I'm DOOMED!" She yelled as I grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Jessica! Pull yourself together girl! If we die here your grade point average won't matter! So turn that frown upside down and let's skip the rest of the way to the land of wherever we are going!" I suggested rather loudly as I pulled her up and we started skipping. We got about ten feet before we realized that we were still tired. We both slowed down to a walk and I looked around at the trees. What if we have changed the course of the anime by coming here and crazy events start unfolding?

'You would be pretty screwed.'

'Thanks, I love you too.'

'I'm only here for encouragement!'

'You suck at your job.'

"Rachel!" Mallory called from behind me.

"What?" I asked back as I turned around and realized that they had all stopped for a break and I had kept walking.

"We're taking a break." Kakashi answered.

"Oh, good!" I said as I collapsed on the spot and got out the peanut butter that I still had.

"I wish that you had had bread in your fridge before we left, we could've had peanut butter and nutela sandwiches." Jess told me with a forlorn look on her face.

"You know, I think that we did have bread." Mal added while looking at the sky.

"I'll check," I said as I started to look through our makeshift backpack thing with all of the food in it. I found something that looked like the general shape of a piece of bread and took it out, "You mean this?"

"Yep!" Mal exclaimed, proud of herself.

"That looks like road kill, decaying road kill. We are not putting peanut butter or nutela on that piece of . . . of . . . I can't even think of a word for it." Jess stated in defeat.

"Rachel?" Naruto asked with slight hesitation.

"Yes?"

"The bread just moved, by its self."

"Really? I guess I should put it back in the bag, huh." I smiled as I put the unknown bread like thing that moved back into the backpack. I turned back to everyone and they were all giving me that look. *sigh*

"Why are you keepi—

"You are so WEIRD!" Sakura exclaimed with a look of disgust on her face. I really liked Sakura better in Shippuden, she's much less . . . whiny.

"I get that a lot." I retorted with a smile at her.

"Then why don't you listen to them? Stop acting so weird and immature all of the time." Sakura said back with a snide voice. I kind of laughed at that.

"Me? Immature? I'll admit that I'm weird and proud of who I am as a weird person, but girl don't try to tell me that I'm immature when you are worse than me. I am immature at times, I'll say it, but don't be a hypocrite, it's annoying. Though I do love your hair, it looks very nice." I told her in a calm level voice, saying annoying like Sasuke had just to make her angry.

"EXCUSE ME!" She bellowed.

"Was it the hair complement? Oh, I'm terribly sorry I—

"Okay, time to get moving." Kakashi interjected as he gave me a dirty look. As I walked near Jess and Mal, Jess gave me a high-five, I laughed.

We eventually stopped walking for the day. Kakashi said that we would probably be to our destination by tomorrow if all went well. I was quite happy to hear that, in the manga and anime it doesn't really portray travel times, but they suck. I took the sleeping bag/backpack and made it into a sleeping bag again and gave it to Mal and Jess. I stole a jacket from Naruto's backpack, and he didn't really seem to mind. There wasn't a campfire due to the fact that we wanted to keep a low profile so it was chilly, but not unbearable. At least it wasn't raining. The tree that I was leaning against was a rather pathetic tree, it had almost no leaves. It was nice to be able to see the stars though.

"Hey, Mal?" I asked.

"What?" She asked drearily.

"Did we ever turn off the oven?"

"No."

"Darn." I pouted at the possibility of a burned down house, "Hey, Jess?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think that evil hall moniter from Haruna High will ever realize that his homeroom teacher is awesome and loves him?" I whispered in code so the ninjas would have no idea that we were talking about them, unless they had read Haruna High.

"You mean, like if he would learn it before the crazy class president tells him?" She asked

"Yeah . . . and what if we somehow altered something and the whole . . . schedule screws up?" I asked.

"We would be pretty screwed. The crazy club of doom might come into play too you know." Jess mentioned as Mallory snored a little bit in her sleep.

"I hope so, I mean they might kill us, but meh. I'll threaten them with rotten bread that moves." I declared in my whisper.

"Heheh, I just hope that we don't run into the evil girly snake man and his creepy assistant. Ya know, why does creepy girly man never cut his hair? It must be harder to fight with hair in his face." She asked.

"I would think so, and if I run into him I will ask him that question just for you. Or I'll just cut it off and see what he does." I pondered in my quiet voice.

"You would die, creepy assistant would probably try to avenge the girly man because he wants to have that awesome hairstyle when he takes creepy girly man's body over."

"Definatly. Well good night!" I told her as I leaned into the tree a bit more and tried to be comfortable.

"Night." She said before silence echoed through the camp.

I couldn't get to sleep. After what seemed like hours I just walked a little bit and tried to keep my mid occupied by counting trees, which is boring by the way.

"Rachel, what are you doing?" came a voice.

"AH! Holy shiz, you scared me. Jeez Tazuna, go to sleep." I whispered to the old bridge builder who shrugged with indifference.

"How could I possibly sleep at a time like this? My entire life is in the hands of three children and a man that seems a little too carefree. I'm not sure why you three are here, but you brought trouble with you, no offense."

"Eh, none taken. I see your point though. I just can't sleep that well when I'm on the ground, or next to a tree. I'm worried, but not extremely worried yet. I mean we're all alive right now and so far, besides the walking, this has been a really fun time. I know I'm going to probably eat my words sooner or later, but I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts." I monologued in a whisper so I wouldn't wake anyone up.

"Well at least you're positive about the current situation. I'm just glad that I didn't have to pay for a C-rank mission. I've been lucky in my streak of bad luck."

"I guess. Well, it's been a nice chat, but I'm going to try once more to sleep and see how that goes." I yawned at him sleepily he nodded as I got up to walk back to the pathetic tree. I sat down and was actually almost asleep before someone started to gently shake me 'awake'. I looked up at none other than Sasuke. Ah, the dream of so many fangirls. I happen to not be one of them and was quite irritated that the little bastard felt like waking me up in the middle of the freaking night. He motioned for me to get up and follow him and he started to walk away. What? Did he expect me to follow him or something? Screw that I have a tree to lean on and a ground to sit on, I was not gonna move willingly. Deal with it pretty boy.

'**You know you're curious.'**

'Shut up, maybe I am, but it isn't worth it to stand.'

'**Touche.'**

The next thing I know, I have a metal knife pressed against my throat and a quite angry dark-haired boy holding it. He again motioned for me to come with him. I kinda smirked at him.

"What are you going to do pretty boy? Kill me?" I sneered

"Hn."

**A/N: Ohhh it is getting quite interesting isn't it? Ok about the part where Jess and I have our seemingly pointless conversation about the evil hall moniter? Well, back before I ever discovered fanfiction, I prowled quizilla for good stories, and I happened to find one one day(called Haruna High) that I believe tops any other in random and hilariousness. I love it with all my heart and you should go read it because even though it can be kind of dumb, it will make you laugh at some point I believe. Ok sorry, big speech over, REVIEW POR FAVOR! 3 **

Link to Haruna High Story-

stories/15998577/welcome-to-haruna-high-modern-day-naruto-story-prologue


	9. Mom and Dead Bugs

**A/N: Hello amazing people of amazingness that read my story. You all make my day better! Anyway, yes another update! YAYz, and it's a pretty long-ish chapter too! I like exclamation points! \o/ **

**On a completely related note: I don't own Naruto. I do own giraffe pants, and wear them to school regularly. People are jealous.**

**ONWARDS TO READING!**

I didn't have time to make a witty remark before he clamped a hand over my mouth and forcefully shoved me away from the immediate vicinity of the camp. I tried to puck and kick him where it hurts, but this pre-teen Sasuke was strong! Once he let go of my mouth and my arm that he was pushing me with I immediately went into I hate you go die mode and sat down grumpily. I crossed my arms and looked at his face, which currently had a look of confusion mixed with a twinge of boiling anger. He was about to blow up or something. What did I ever do to him? I mean maybe I said that comment a little meanly, but still . . . get over it. Then he started pacing back and forth. This surprised me, he never seemed like the pacing type, I hope that he would get dizzy and run into a tree that spontaneously combusts into a shower of fireflys that gets all over him and he freaks out, kills all of them in a rampage before getting covered in firefly glow goo. Hm, that was a run on, sad face.

"What and who are you three?" He finally asked when he stopped walking.

"Halarious? Or perhaps too incredibly weird for normal ninjas to grasp our humor. Your pick, Sas-kay." I tested in my condescending I hate you, go die tone of voice.

"I just need to know, were you there?"

"You're going to have to be more specific there chicken boy."

"It's not possible . . ." he trailed off in thought

"You are bad at interrogation, threats generally work better than second-guessing yourself." I advised as I threw grass in his general direction.

"Were. You. There. When . . . it happened?" His hesitation kind of made me curious as to what the heck he was talking about.

"What? When what happened?" I questioned innocently.

"When my brother murdered my family!" He whisper/yelled at me. I had no idea where that idea came from, but I kind of expected his sharingan to activate or something.

"What? No . . . not that I know of."

"Not that you—how could you not know! I didn't really think much of you three until you said that comment."

"What comment?" I asked.

"The comment about the bread, the moving bread. That, and the being proud of who you are stuff."

"How do you go from moving bread to massacre?" I said while moving my hands from one side of me to the other for emphasis.

"The bread was there that night! And it moved then too—

"Did you scream like a little Sasuke?"

"What? No!" he added defensivly, "Not just that though, my brother mentioned something about being proud of who he was and—

"You lost me again." I said, throwing more grass at him from where I sat.

"I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was freakishly similar to what you said to Sakura."

"Oh watch out, you said her name. Her Sasuke-senses will start tingling and she'll come running." He shook his head and started walking away. It was at that moment that I realized this was the most I had heard him talk yet. Weird.

"Hey." I called before he was out of earshot. He didn't say anything, but he did stop walking to listen to me, "Uh, yah know . . . don't always act like you know everything. Got it pretty boy?"

"Hn." He muttered before walking into the trees towards camp. I didn't feel like getting up, thus I stayed here and somehow fell asleep amidst all of the ripped up grass that I had thrown at poor, confused chicken-ass head.

~Mallory POV~

I'm the kind of person who loves sleeping on the floor, sometimes I even take sleeping on the floor over my bed. Sleeping on the ground, however, sucks. Even though Rachel was nice enough to give jess and I the huge blanket sleeping bag, the ground had rock, bugs, and it wasn't very soft either. I don't even know what's going on, so I have room to complain . . . right? Plus, that genius guy Minute-O had the great sense to give me a knife. A sharp knife too. I mean, who in their right mind gives me knives? I tried to rollover and see if that was any more comfortable than the rock that I had been on previously. Then someone shined a bright light in my face quite rudely; I started reaching for my flyswatter of doom. After reaching for my weapon of choice a few times I tried to look for it and it hit me. The sun was up, and I was so tired because it was about six in the morning. I found a whole new reason to hate mornings and flopped back down on the sleeping bag in defeat.

It was pretty peaceful until that blonde hyperactive kid woke up. That kid can talk loud, and he talks as soon as his consciousness is active. I'm pretty sure that if any bad guys were after us, could find us now. I tried throwing little rocks in his general direction, I'm pretty sure that I completely missed though.

"Jess, are you awake?" I asked groggily

"How could I still be asleep, with Naruto awake?"

"Who's Naruto?" I asked innocently.

"The only number one hyperactive knuckle-headed ninja over there." She replied.

"The one talking?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay." I said, "Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Where's Rachel?" I asked when I had noticed that my non-biological twin was missing.

"She's not here?" She asked as she sat up to see for herself. We both kind of looked around the campsite and she was nowhere to be found. Once Naruto noticed, everyone figured it out and we started searching a broader spectrum for our lost party member.

~Rachel POV~

I hate mornings. Or rather I hate that I'm a morning person. I obnoxious mind wakes me up when I want to sleep for another two hours. Of course, this is generally easier in a room with blinds to block out the light from waking you up. I could hear Naruto in the distance, but I really didn't think it was that important.

"What are you doing way out here?" Came a voice filled to the brim with annoyance.

"Sasuke woke me up in the middle of the night and gagged me to bring me here and told me about his mid-life crisis." I told the pink haired ninja with pleasure.

"Stop lying, it's unattractive." She responded snootily before walking away towards the sound of the others.

"How does she become such a badass later in the story . . ." I muttered under my breath.

"_What_ did you say?" She questioned angrily.

"I _said _that I can't wait until the guy you loves deems his problems above you and crushes your heart so you actually do something productive for once!" I told her louder. I was still half-asleep; I'm not the best arguer in the morning. Her eyes widened and she got very red, before stomping off. I grinned.

"That was pretty harsh."

"Whoa! Kakashi, you scared me there." I said as the copy ninja came out from his hiding place.

"You didn't have to go crush her hopes and dreams like that." He pointed out.

"She just thinks I'm a lying bi—No language young lady—mean person. Geez, even my father doesn't mind my language so I can't say 'Yes, Dad' in a sarcastic way . . ." I pouted.

"He lets you swear?" I nodded in affirmation.

"But my Mom doesn't!" I cried.

"Oh, great, I can see where this is going."

"So, Mom, when are we leaving for more endless walking?" I teased with his new nickname? He sighed and grumbled something about stupid jutsu sensei. I shrugged and followed him back to the group. Turns out Sasuke had dragged me against my will pretty far from the original place. We had been walking for a bit and still weren't back. Makes me wonder how Sakura found me so fast.

"So what were you doing out here?" Kakashi asked as we walked back.

"Got kidnapped by a psyco child who decided that I wasn't worth his time and I was too lazy to get up." I explained in a roundabout way, earning a quizzical look.

"Why did Sasuke take you out here, or kidnap you, as you say?" He questioned.

"I don't know, I think I pissed him off before I could get him to talk a lot." I grinned mischievously. Kakashi kind of sigh slash grunted in annoyance of not getting a straight answer, plus the realization that I didn't want to give one. Why? It's not my secret to tell, how could it benefit me to harm someone else mentally. . . okay it could be fun since I hate Sasuke so much. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard my name being yelled by two different high pitched voices.

"Rachel!—tackle—Where were you? Sleepwalking again?" Mallory asked as she helped me up from the tackle-glomp she had just executed. I laughed.

"Nah, just some pathetic wee-ninja wanted a counselor to express their problems to in the middle of the night." I told them earnestly. Mallory accepted my lame story, Jess gave me a look and I kind of shook my head in an 'I'll tell you later' way.

"Sounds legit." Jess ended up saying as we started following the ninjas, plus Tazuna, who had started walking on their merry little way to the bridge . . . place. The three of us fell into step behind them.

After we had been walking for a while I realized that I smelled horrible. I hadn't been able to change out of my PJ's in about four days. Plus, I had been the one who carried the rotten food the most! I mean my PJ's are really comfy: I'm currently wearing giraffe-print flannel pants and a sort of tight-ish black long sleeve shirt that I got a few basketball seasons ago. Mallory was decked out in her kitty-cat jammies; Jess was wearing basketball shorts and a long sleeve shirt plus socks. It was sad that neither Mallory nor I had shoes or socks. Anyway, we hadn't changed in three days, going on four. We smelled like dirty socks! And I had blood on my shirt too. Gross. I decided that I needed to do something about this. I powerwalked up to where Kakashi was walking. I was going to stand annoyingly close to him, then he would have to notice my bad smell and make us take a break! ( Great plan, I know) I was about to execute my plan when I realized I wasn't the only bad smelling one, I slowed down to a crawling walk (earning a weird look from Kakashi/Mom) and waited for my friends to catch up.

"Hey, have you noticed how bad we smell?" I whispered to them very quietly so the ninjas wouldn't overhear my master plan. They both nodded at my question.

"We should convince them to let us take a bath somewhere soon. Here's my plan . . *whisper whisper too lazy to type explanation* So, what do you think?"

"Brilliant!" Mal whispered enthusiastically.

"Why don't we just ask?" Jess offered logically. I'll admit, it would make a lot more sense, but that's no fun . . . at least that's my logic.

'**Your logic sucks.'**

'You suck.'

'**You just insulted yourself!'**

'Get your own comebacks!'

"Because that's no fun, so, are you two in, or not?" I asked. They grinned and nodded. We turned and went to stand near our targets.

Jess went to go terrorize poor Naruto, Mal stood near Mom, and I got to piss off Sakura. We made it look sort of normal so we weren't too obvious, although I figured that Mom/Kakashi would be the first to figure it out. I was eventually walking near Sakura and got an idea.

"Hey, Sakura?" She turned her head a fraction in the other direction. I kept my cool, "Sakura? I need something. . . please?" That got her attention. She turned towards me and raised her eyebrows a little as if to say 'What?' I looked around a little so I would look embarrassed, even though this was kind of hilarious.

"I need a brush for my hair, could I use yours?" I asked quietly, trying to make my puppy-dog face. She finally caved and let my use her brush, I knew that she would have one! I started brushing my hair, and realized how knotty it was. I eventually got through the mess and put my hair up into a messy bun with the hair-ties that I constantly have on my wrist. I smiled at her and gave it back, right before I conjured up my best nonsensical conversation and started talking to Sakura as close as I could possibly get to her. ^_^

~Mallory POV~

I'm generally a very hygienic person, but I haven't showered in four days. I need shampoo. I figured that Rachel's idea was pretty stupid, but it did sound interesting, so I went along with it. I got to bug Kakashi because he was deemed least likely to kill me, or something like that. I was calmly walking next to him a few feet away. Then Rachel asked Sakura for a hairbrush. I didn't even want to know why. I turned towards Kaka-she and started staring openly at his hair. I didn't change my face, nor did I speak. He looked at me a few times, but other than that he didn't do much. A challenge, huh? I got this. I kept staring at his hair, then as fast as I could a whipped out my flyswatter and smacked him in the head . . . again. Fear the flyswatter, even Kakashi can't doge its awesomeness. He whipped his head around, as did a few of the others. Rachel started laughing, and so did Jess. I struggled to keep my face staring at his hair in an emotionless way.

"Is there something in my hair, Mallory, or do you just enjoy hitting me in the head with that?" He asked. Oh yeah, I had already hit him with this once when he was a kid.

While keeping my face empty of emotion I asked him, "Do you still cower in fear of the flyswatter?" I swear to this day that I saw his eye twitch in momentary anger, just like he did as a kid, but it vanished as quickly as it had come. He simply began to stare at my hair with an expression on his face that was probably similar to my own. Dang ninjas. I held out my hand.

"Truce?" I asked

"We'll call it a draw." I nodded and we shook hands on it.

I suddenly realized how pointless this was.

"Kaka-she, we need to get clean. We haven't had a bath or a shower in four days, if anyone it really trying to find us they could probably smell us from a mile away. Plus, my hair is so greasy it's gross, have you ever had greasy hair? Don't answer that—I hate greasy hair plus I don't know when I'm going to get my p—

"No need to get into detail there Mal." Jess nervously laughed as she clamped a hand over my mouth. Rachel had stopped talking to Sakura and directed her attention over here, good she'll help me convince Kaka-she that we must get clean! Of course I had no idea what she was going to do or say . . .

"Don't you have, like, a smelly-good no jutsu, Mom?" she asked, I had already heard the 'Mom' story so that wasn't new, but the little ninjas' faces . . . priceless.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked nervously.

*sigh* "Really, girls, you don't need a shower right this minute." He explained.

"HAVE YOU SMELLED MY PITS OLD MAN!" Rachel yelled in a very dramatic voice. I mouthed the words to Kakashi 'Don't try to' while waving my hand in front of my nose. I saw Jess inspecting something a little ways ahead, but didn't really delve into it. I briefly wondered what must go on in his head when these situations occur.

~A few silent seconds later ~ Jess POV ~

WHAM!

"What are you doing Jess!" Naruto questioned nervously as I beat the bug that was (probably) there. I had remembered my baseball bat that I had had in my possession right before we were blinded by the fridge-that-shall-not-be-named. So, here I am beating this bug *cough* ground *cough* senseless.

"DIE GODDAMIT!" I yelled at the long-dead (probably) bug in a rage.

"Jess, I think you got it. It's dead." Naruto said , still weary of the baseball bat.

"I need to see a body." I demanded as I searched the ground.

"I don't think there's one left . . ." Naruto sweatdropped.

"Good! Now what were they saying about getting clean?"

**A/N: Yep, not really a cliffhanger, and the last half was kind of pointless . . . what can I say? I had plyos at 9 in the morning…. NINE IN THE MORNING! Mornings are evil, even Avatar Korra thinks so . . . Anyway, review! Flame! Or write me a message about unicorns . . . that would be kinda weird . . . lol weird. Byeess!**


	10. Mr Puffy Pajama Pants and HeShe

**A/N: Those who have reviewed, faved, or put this story or myself on their alerts since my last shout out. **

**So BIG thank you's to- StoneWings37, ConfusedSoAmI, SaphiraEragon, yourlostlongbrotherOwO, Megane-usa-chan, Generalhyna, VeganVampy, horseluvr888, Yukari99, GLaDOS-01, and aristotle29 who is always there to yell at me for updates. Really anyone can yell at me for updates, it motivates the mind! Also, big news! I now have a plot for the story! That's good right ^_^**

"Mom, you said there was a river somewhere close . . ." I whined.

"It is close, Rachel, my definition of close is just quite different than yours. And my name is Kakashi." He chided for the fourth time. Hehe, he didn't like his manly nickname.

"Yeah, yeah. So how far in my terms?" I asked, expecting disappointment.

"I want to say five miles, but I could be wrong."

"Well, we will just have to smell bad I guess . . ." Mallory said gloomily from a few feet to my left. We were walking again . . . shocker. I was half tempted to ask Naruto to summon Gamabunta, and it's a good thing that I remembered he would have absolutely no idea who or what I was talking about. I mentally sighed.

'**Quit mentally sighing, it's annoying.'**

'Why, hello conscience.'

'**Why do you sound so happy?'**

'No reason.'

'**Okay . . . so do we have a plan yet?'**

'For?'

'**Getting home . . . I feel like I'm cramped here for some reason.'**

'Sucks to suck.'

'**I'm leaving.'**

'HA, but to where will you go?'

'**. . .'**

'Fine then.'

"Walking sucks." Mallory mentioned under her breath. I nodded before everyone seemed to lapse into silence.

I lasted ten minutes in the silence before I got an idea. I glanced at Jess for a second and she gave me a WTF look before glaring at Sasuke some more. Ah yes, the burning hatred she had for that kid . . . well I was bored so that was going to have to wait. *dramatic deep breath*

"SHA LA LA itsuka kitto da nnanaanananaaa!" I started singing in a really crappy voice. Jess started laughing before singing the first line over and over with me again. We hated that song so much. After hearing it way too many times we just started to sing it randomly sometimes.

"What are you singing?" Mallory asked while she covered her ears to drown out our beautiful singing.

"An opening song to an episode of an awesome show of awesome, but it isn't an awesome song, isn't it awesome?" I replied while making use of the word awesome to its full potential.

Eventually, we came across the big body of water that Kakashi had mentioned. This was also the same body of water that we were going to have to cross in silence to get to Tazuna's town and stuff. Kakashi didn't mention that it was salt water.

"Mom."

"My name is Kakashi." The copy ninja replied in a tired voice.

"Good for you, but this is salt water Mom." I pointed out. I had put my hand into the water and tasted it for the very thought that it might be salt water. I flicked the excess water at Sasuke for revenge of kidnapping me in the middle of the night. I am such an avenger, he should be taking notes.

"Well, then I guess you will just have to wait." He deduced. I opened my mouth to say something that was probably really rude, but decided against it and shut my mouth. We waited around for a bit before a boat appeared to ferry us across the water/lake/thing. There was also the mist that was everywhere and even though I knew that no one would attack us at this point I was still pretty paranoid. I mean what if Masashi Kishimoto left out a four day battle that occurred right here and now! I would have no idea it was going to happen.

'**They have no idea what's going to happen either.'**

'They're ninjas.'

'**True.'**

We came across the bridge and Naruto started yelling.

"It's huge!" He cried in the thick silence about the bridge. Mal, Jess, and I started to giggle uncontrollably.

"That's what she said." We all whispered in unison, which got some strange looks from the others. Kakashi barely spared a glance. OMFG Mom was getting used to us!

"Quiet! Why do you think we cut off the engine? So they don't see us!" The boat ferry person scolded all of us. Naruto clamped a hand over his mouth and we all shut up, but it was still pretty funny.

"Mr. Tazuna," Kakashi asked, "before we reach the pier I want to ask you something. I need to know why those men are after you, or I'll have to end this mission when we drop you ashore."

Tazuna then began to go on this long winded explanation about the Gato guy that I honestly didn't care about. Mallory was really wrapped up in the story though. I began listening near the end when he was about to guilt trip us into helping him. This was my favorite part!

"But, don't feel bad about that," Tazuna said, "Of course my grandson will cry, and my daughter will condemn the ninja of the hidden leaves, denouncing you for abandoning her father and living her life in sorrow, but it's not your fault." I almost laughed, even though it was kind of the truth. I looked towards the ninjas and they all had a look of pity on their faces, as did Mallory. Mallory actually had more of a look of determination on her face. I hope she wasn't about to go on one of those 'I will help you no matter what!' monologues. Luckily, Mom stepped in and said the whole, "I guess we will have to guard you now." Thing.

Shortly after, we arrived at the dock that we were headed for and got off of the boat. I stretched out a little and looked around. It was still so weird to be in the Naruto world. Even though we were in a town we still had to cross though a wooded area or something before we could make it to Tazuna's house apparently. I really didn't want to already be at the Zabuza fight scene, but I knew that it was going to happen really soon whether I wanted it to or not.

I was wondering how long it would take before anything happened when Naruto threw a kunai into a bush randomly. I glanced at Jess and we waited for the bunny. Naruto threw another kunai into the shrubbery and I tried to look where it hit the tree, I saw the bunny and got ready to hit the ground. Naruto was cuddling the poor rabbit that he scarred for life and I was waiting. Jess and I were on both sides of Mallory. This way we could be ready to push her over so she wouldn't get hit by the sword when Zabuza threw it. I was beginning to doubt my memory of the show when Mom yelled "Look out!" I shoved Mallory over and hit the ground myself as the Executioner's Blade embedded itself into a tree. I looked up and saw Zabuza. I started to giggle uncontrollably again. Everyone looked at me with a WTF look.

"Hi Mr. Puffy Pajamapants, OMG we match!" I exclaimed as I pointed out that I also have giraffe print pants that were pajamaish. Zabuza just raised an eyebrow at me before facing Mom. I guess even though I was randomly quoting Naruto Abridged I didn't really matter . . . good! I sat down by some tree that I hope wouldn't get destroyed or something in the battle. I mean, what was I possibly going to do to help out in this situation. Everyone gets out alive . . . literally. I motioned for Mallory to sit down as well; she did so and Jess followed suit. We sat there watching and every now and then we would quote Naruto abridged just for the heck of it and cheer them on.

"WOOOO GO NARUTO, WAY TO GET BACK YOUR HEADBAND FOR ALMOST NO REASON! SAKURA YOU'RE DOING GREAT! Not doing much, but still doing good. Uh Sasuke . . . you're blue . . . da bu de da bu die da bu de da bu die!" I sang out of boredom and strange confidence that Zabuza wouldn't attack us for some reason.

"Rachel, why is Mr. Puffy Pjpants standing on water?" Mallory asked.

"He's actually Jesus."

O.o

"She's kidding Mal." Jess reassured as Naruto and Sasuke went through with their master plan to get Kakashi out of water prison.

"Oh, good." She said with a relieved look.

"He's actually just controlling his chakra so he can stand on water." I explained in a roundabout way. She nodded in either real understanding or so I would shut up.

"WOO GO MOM! MR. PUFFY PAJAMA PANTS IS GOIN DOWN!" I yelled really dramatically. Even Zabuza turned to look when I called Kakashi Mom. I just stuck my tongue out at him and flashed a peace sign because I didn't really know what else to do.

"Do you know who I am, little girl?" He demanded harshly. I was pretty shocked that he was addressing me.

"Yup." I replied before I could think of a smart answer.

"You know that I could kill you faster than you could process that you're dead, right?"

"Sounds like a pretty good way to go to me! I wouldn't feel a thing." I pointed out. He gave me another look before Kakashi attacked him again and their fight continued.

"Why did you do that?" Jess asked me with concern.

"Yeah, that was pretty stupid, wasn't it?" I admitted, she shook her head and we realized that the fight was already winding down. I barely had time to register that it was over before Haku's senbon took out Zabuza. I looked around to try and find where he was in the trees when he appeared by Zabuza. Before anything could be said I had to interrogate Haku.

"Haku!" I yelled at the he/she. Haku turned his head in my direction, "You say you are a boy, but why do you look so girly?"

"It's a good distraction tactic for some, as some weak ninjas don't like to beat up girls." He replied simply. I had no idea if he/she was lying, but I wanted a better answer.

"Yeah, but if that's true, you're a pretty crappy cross-dresser. I mean no one can tell if you are a guy or a girl with the mask and either gender clothing. You see my confusion?" I asked.

"Yes, I do." The masked ninja replied simply before Kakashi started to talk to him/her about 'important' things. I waited until they left before talking again.

"Hey, Jess?"

"What?" She asked.

"I don't know, I felt like asking you something, but I forgot." I admitted; she gave me an annoyed look. We all turned to head towards Tazuna's house and keep walking like nothing had ever happened when Mom fell over.

"I remember what I was going to ask you now."

"What?" She asked with a hint of apprehension in her voice.

"We should see what Mom's face looks like under the mask while he's passed out!" I exclaimed with excitement.

"Why are you playing around when Kakashi-sensei is hurt? Do you have no compassion?" Sakura demanded. I shook my head, but refrained from a sarcastic remark. Considering I would also freak out if my teacher randomly passed out also.

The rest of the way to Tazuna's house was relatively silent. His daughter was frantic when we got there. She was very happy of course, but she was jumpy around the ninja. I liked her though!

"Are you three girls ninja too?" Tsunami asked us. Mallory was the first to reply.

"Not even close, we just have friends who are ninjas and tend to get dumped within close proximity of them at times." She explained rather oddly.

"Why are you wearing such strange clothes?" Tsunami asked after hearing Mallory's vague answer. We gave each other a few looks. We did kind of stand out in our pajamas.

Mallory began to explain our situation with a great cover story, "We were all camping in the woods when we were attacked by some wild . . . squirrels in the middle of the night and had to flee before we would catch rabies and die a slow and painful death. We're in our pajamas right now because we had to run away from the rabid squirrels quickly. We also haven't showered in four days, or changed because we have no other clothes. *insert Mallory puppy dog eyes*." Tsunami ran to another room without a word. We all gave each other confused looks for a second. When she came back into the room she pushed a bunch of coins into our hands. Now I was really confused, weren't these people poor?

"We can't take your money." I said trying to give the coins back to her.

"Yes, you can. You are good friends with the ninja who will help us finish this bridge. Besides, this is my father's money." She smiled like that was supposed to make up feel better. Not only are we taking money from someone who needs it, but it's kind of stolen. "Now, I don't want to hear any of the 'we don't really need blah blah', go! There is a shop that sells clothing in town, go get yourselves some clothes because what you are wearing doesn't count."

"Y-yes ma'am." Jess replied as we were basically kicked out of the house.

"Okay, so random shopping trip you guys." I said loudly.

"I still feel bad about this . . ." Mallory mentioned in an unsure voice. Jess nodded in agreement.

"Even if we feel bad about it, it looks like we won't have a place to stay unless we change our wardrobe. So, get over your feel badness and let's go find this store!" I cried as we set off to find the stupid store to get clothes and shoes.

After an hour of searching the little town, we finally found the one store that sold clothes. It didn't have much, but it would have enough. The store owner tried to get us to try on a bunch of the yukatas and skirts, but I wanted pants. I ended up getting some black capris that gathered just below my knees, and a lighter green shirt that had no sleeves and was slightly small. Jess got a simple shirt with sleeves and some dark shorts. Mallory got tight fitting shorts and a dark skirt with a light maroon long sleeve shirt. We all also got a pair of the standard sandals in black or dark brown, we couldn't really tell. With the little money that we had left over I got two simple backpack type things so we could carry all of our crap. We thanked the shop owner and left to head back to the house. We saw a bath house on the way home and I looked at our money with a defeated look. Not enough. That was a very sad realization.

We took a few turns that I was sure were right, but sadly they didn't seem to be. We ended up somehow walking through a forest.

"We're so lost, admit it." Jess stated.

"Why are we in a forest?" Mallory asked.

"We had to walk in a forest to get to Tazuna's house didn't we?" I asked with reassurance.

"Sure, but we didn't have to walk past any trees to get to the store from the house." Mal pointed out. I flinched. Damn.

'**You suck at directions.'**

'Do not!'

'**Really?'**

'. . .'

'**That's what I thought.' **

I turned to my friends and sighed.

"Okay, I'm lost, so what do you guys have in mind to get un-lost?" I asked with a defeated tone.

"I dunno." Jess replied.

"Wait for Naruto to start talking and head towards the noise?" Mal suggested. We all kind of gave a half-hearted laugh before sitting down for a break.

After a bit we got bored of playing Pictionary in the dirt because when you play Pictionary with only three people it fails epically most of the time. I was about to get up when something rolled near us. I looked at it for a second before I saw the fuse.

"Run!" I shouted to my friends, but I was too late. The smoke bomb went off and I ran through the fog, trying to find my friends. I eventually emerged from the smoke and saw Mal, but Jess was still in there.

"Jess! Come towards my voice!" I yelled. I looked around for my friend. Suddenly, I was shoved to the ground by someone tackling me. I knew neither Mal nor Jess would do that in this situation so I kicked and clawed as best I could at the attacker.

"Get the hell off of me, you evil tackler person, I have personal space you know!" I screamed at the person. The guy who was attacking me had on a mask (No it wasn't Mom) and I couldn't see his face. I finally got free and broke into a run.

"Freedom!" I cried . . . that lasted about three seconds. I was tackled by two people this time and got the wind knocked out of me. Dang, I can't shout profanities with no air. I kicked one of the guys where a guy hates to be kicked, but he just got angry instead of the usual falling over in pain. I heard someone yelp a few feet away; in the direction of the smoke bomb cloud. I glanced around for the source of the sound for a second, but I couldn't even see Mallory anywhere anymore. The man who I had just kicked brought his arm back to punch me probably. I shut my eyes and waited for the impact to come, but it never did. I opened my eyes to find both of the bandits gone. The smoke was dissipating, and in the middle of it I could just make out a human figure finishing off another bandit who had tried to run probably. Jess came over to me with a big smile on her face and Mallory was a little ways off picking something up from the ground that caught the light in a certain way. So the person was neither of them. The dust settled and I could see our savior. My eyes widened. I stammered some words out.

"No way . . . how did you—is this even possible?"

**A/N: Muahahaha cliffhanger! I know that I said I have a plot now, but it doesn't really come into play until next chapter! I know that I'm evil ^_^ Well, I personally thought that this was a fairly boring chapter to write, but I hope it ws fun enough to read! Also, I do not claim to own Naruto Abridged, but if you haven't seen it and you have seen Naruto . .. just go watch it on youtube . . . right now. 3 Review please and thank you!**


	11. Dirt and Bad Things

**A/N: OMYGOSH I forgot someone last time and I is sorry! HUGE shout out to BAYALE! They are awesome and reviewed! I know that I suck at writing notes and stuff . . . so uh, I hope that you still read my story and you get to find out who people are this chapter so I won't be a silly hockey puck! ^_^**

**Anyway, here ya go! I don't own Naruto, blah blah…oh and please forgive any grammatical errors as I sped this chapter out and really didn't feel like reading it over much, so yeah, take that grammar people *Aristotle29* ^_^**

"I honestly have no idea, but I'm glad I came. Otherwise you would all be in serious trouble." Our savior pointed out.

"B-but . . . . You're—

"Not supposed to be here!"

"Well, it's a good thing that I am. Mallory did a good job accidentally summoning me in the nick of time. By the way, how did you three get into trouble . . . again?"

"Geez Minato, didn't know that you cared so much." I told him with a little rudeness. I tend to become rude when people try to punch me in the face.

"Well, I couldn't just let you die. I mean I gave you means to summon me if you were in trouble. That means that you are under my protection no matter where you are." He stated, his words dripping with chivalry.

"I'm afraid it's not a matter of where, but when." Jess mentioned quietly.

"Are you saying . . . what I think you're saying?" The fourth Hokage questioned.

"We're about . . . I don't know twentyish years in the future, give or take. That's why we're so freaked out. You accidently sent us forward in time instead of home." Jess told him. Minato looked a little pale, but considering the news I thought that he was taking this pretty well.

"That shouldn't be possible." He muttered to himself. I could tell that his brain was starting to work overdrive. And his hair had grown a little bit too.

"Actually, it makes sense. When you teleport, you already have a set destination, right? You teleport to the kunai that you have your seal on, correct? Well, we were being sent to what we though was our home, but we had no set directions. We also possess a detailed knowledge of the future, therefore it could be possible, but only for us." I theorized. He thought what I had said over and looked around a bit.

"So, if what you are saying is true, then I came here because Mallory threw a kunai while using some sort of chakra. And that I shouldn't be here by any sort of normality." He asked to mostly himself.

"But I don't have any chakra, let alone the knowledge of how to use it." Mallory protested.

"Yes, you do. I couldn't feel it before from you three, but now you all have the smallest amount of chakra inside each of you. This is quite similar to the chakra that you three had when you first arrived here originally. Of course, that was a much larger amount than you possess combined." He explained to us like this was school. Hm, a ninja as a teacher . . . I would stay awake in class . . . maybe.

"So, what can we be ninjas now or something?" Jess asked excitedly with wide eyes.

"Not with those chakra levels, they are what a low level Academy student might have. The most you might be able to do is jump a little higher than normal, but even that would leave you tired for the rest of the day." He told us with a little bit of arrogance in his voice. Was he gloating?

"Yes, yes, we know that you are big bad ninja of awesome, no need to rub it in our faces sensei." I remarked defensively, just to see what his reaction would be.

"I-I didn't mean it like that at all. You could—I'm not your sensei by the way." He reminded me. My eyes widened, had I really said that. Oh well, at least I hadn't hugged him or something. He_ is_ my favorite Naruto character ever, but not in the 'I love you' way. More like the 'he is the most badass person ever' kind of way.

"At least she isn't calling you Mom." Mallory muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. He got a really confused look on his face before turning to me. I was probably beet red out of embarrassment.

"Who are you calling—I don't even want to know." The yellow flash said while putting his hands up a little.

"It's a long story that would probably tell you a little too much about your future." I sighed, this was not going well. Plus, this was the strangest shopping trip I've ever been on. And to add more to the madness, Minato was here, apparently we all have chakra somehow, and we still needed to get home, "Hey, Minato? Do you think that you could try to get us home again?"

"I could try; you may end up in another time though. Or in any situation, I hope it isn't in the middle of a battlefield. Oh, and you still have two more knives right? So, you have me for help in only two more situations." He stated in his 'official' voice. It was like we were getting a briefing for some sort of mission or something. I got up and walked over to Minato.

"You have to make sure that when you go back to the past that you don't tell anyone what you have seen, otherwise it could screw up everything and be very dangerous for all of us. Oh, and you have to go back to your time right after this! No snooping around." I reminded him, even though he probably already knew all of that.

"Yes ma'am." He said with teasing evident in his tone of voice.

"And if I don't ever get to see you again," I gave him a big hug (He is my favorite character after all), "You will make a kick-ass father." I said with tears welling up in my eyes that I forced back, I hate crying in public, it makes me feel like a crybaby. (I never fail to cry at that part in the series when Minato and Kushina die for Naruto though T_T) I let him go and he smiled at me even though he was probably pretty confused at my behavior.

"Okay, you girls ready to try and get home once again and hope that this doesn't fail?" He asked in a teasing tone that didn't reassure us at all.

"Sure?" Mallory offered.

"Oh, and try not to send us somewhere that is fifty-five feet in the air again please." Jess asked

"Sure thing, here goes." He said as he made a few rapid hand signs and the three of us locked arms. I felt the air get really thick like it did last time we were transported with a jutsu. There was the sensation of passing out again and the next thing I knew I was face down in dirt.

Dirt? Why was I in dirt?

'**What intelligent thoughts you have.'**

'Hey, it's a legitimate question.'

'**Don't get all defensive now.'**

'Rawr.'

I sat up to look around at my surroundings. I guess a better word would be lack of surroundings. There was not much around here, and everything was a shade of red. Mallory and Jess were sitting up on their own, not far from where I was myself. I dusted myself off and walked over to them.

"Where are we?" I asked Jess with concern. I didn't remember this place from either the manga or anime, but it was familiar all the same.

"It seems familiar, but I haven't a clue." Jess replied as she also got up from the ground. I looked around a bit more and realized that we weren't in a barren wasteland of nothing. There were building foundations that were lined up, as if they were a line of buildings. Except, the actual buildings were long gone. I looked up at the cloudy sky with worry; what had happened here? I walked along and looked back to see Jess and Mallory following me a little slower. I noticed something jutting out of the ground a ways in front of me and ran up to it. I mean if something is jutting gout of the ground it must be important.

"What is it Rach?" Jess called from behind me. She was running towards me, dragging Mallory behind her.

"It can't be . . ." I murmured to myself more than another person. The thing that was jutting out of the ground was a large piece of metalish stuff with a thick layer of dirt and dust covering it. I started to frantically brush off all of the dirt thinking, hoping, that what I thought wasn't true. When I finished wiping off a portion of the metal I could clearly see part of the kanji symbol that meant fire. This piece of building, I guess, was all that was left of Hokage tower. Jess realized what we were looking at.

"This-this is the Leaf Village . . . no. What happened?" Jess asked no one in particular.

"Must I keep repeating myself, what is happen—What. The. Flamingo. Is the moon always like that?" Mallory asked as she looked up at a break in the clouds where the moon was shining through. My eyes widened and I looked at Jess with horror. This could not be happening, this should not be happening, how could this happen!

'**Well I don't know, but it is getting more cramped here the more time you waste.'**

The moon had a bunch of comma shaped marks on it. We were in Tobi's infinite world of Tsukuyomi. Tobi had won somehow. God, I hope the Naruto story wasn't really going to end like this, what a crappy ending, I mean who lets the bad guy _win_?

'**You have a strange way of coping with stress.'**

"Jess, you know what this means, right?" I asked her with mixed emotions about the current situation. I mean I was pissed off, dirty, tired, sad, and determined all at the same time.

"Yeah, Tobi won." She replied with an angry tone.

"We gotta fix this." I stated with anger seeping through my words.

"I'm still confused." Mallory said while looking around at the devastation, "What happened here exactly?"

"I couldn't tell you exactly what happened, but a man by the name of Tobi, or Madara Uchiha, basically put this future version of the Naruto world in an illusion that he controls at all times. This somehow ties into the moon too, I don't understand it all, but it looks like everyone who was in the Leaf Village at one point is gone." I observed. She looked even more confused, but understood the main points at least.

"Ok, so Tobi/Madara equals main bad guy who want control of world like normal. We need to stop said bad guy how?" She asked after clarification.

"Well, I have a plan." I said

"I think I know what your plan is my friend and I like the way you think." Jess added.

"We're going to need Naruto." I listed.

"And the Uchiha brothers." Jess said

"Probably going to need Mom too." Mallory offered even though she probably didn't really know exactly what we were scheming, she was a smart person.

"Yep, and one more thing." I said.

"The crazies. Oh, this _is_ going to be fun, isn't it?" Jess asked with excitement. I nodded.

"This will be either the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my life, or the best idea I have ever come up with." I told them with a sense of dread and joy rolled into one. I looked at both of their faces and then at the ground in thought, "This is going to be really dangerous guys, we may not come out of it alive. I don't even know what would happen to us if we died, but it probably wouldn't be good. I don't want to force you into this or anything."

"What else are we going to do? Stay here? The way I see it is once we fix this messed up place, we can go home, but until then I think we're stuck in this dimension no matter what time." Mallory stated with good reasoning. Jess nodded.

"I agree with Mallory, the only thing we have to lose is our lives, and I'm not being a martyr or anything. We don't have a way home as of now, so we have to try and save the world that we're in right now, right?" Jess reasoned with assurance.

I smirked, "They're never going to know what hit em. The ninjas may think that they are the strongest, or whatever, but they haven't met us."

"Even Minato said that we could probably rise to the occasion, should it present itself, so let's show this world what we're made of!" Mallory cried.

"First things first, we need to go back in time. I also have a theory." I said with a sly smile. Jess got a worried look.

"About what?" she asked with a little apprehension as to what I may say.

"Us." I replied with determination. This was going to be really interesting, Naruto world, bring it on!

'**We are so dead.'**

'Shut up conscience.'

**A/N: Look at me, updating twice in the same day, and you thought that you would have to wait ^_^ I know you love me, at least I hope you do. . . anyway, the next chapter won't be up for a while because it's going to take longer to write and I'm going on vacation for a week in WI for the heck of it. So, I hope this one chapter satisfies all for a while! I love you guys! Review!**


	12. Rocks and Minuteo

**A/N: Hey guys! I gots lots of reviews last chapter and it made me so happy! And I will shut up for those who actually read this and on with the chapter! I do NOT own Naruto and I apologize if I get a few facts wrong by a little as my job sucks and leaves me realllllly tired. Look up detassling . . . and be glad that you don't have to do it. . . like nike tell everyone to….ok here's the chapter!**

_Recap of what has happened so far: Three normal teenage girls have been sucked into a fictional world. This world is the world of a popular anime known by the name Naruto (or Naruto Shippuden later) They somehow end up there with some rotten food, a frying pan, a bat, and a flyswatter. Along the line they befriend Minato Namikaze, Kakashi Hatake, Rin, and Obito Uchiha before they get jutsu'd forword in time to the beginning of the anime itself (instead of going home like they thought) and then meet up with Kakashi again. After annoying said ninja and ninja squad a little they get into trouble and accidently summon Minato; who helps them out again before sending them forward in time once more (instead of going home). This time they are sent to a place that is more like a nightmare, a future where Tobi's moon plan has taken place, now they are determined to do everything in their power to stop this apocalyptic future from becoming true. Whatever will happen? O.O Honestly, even I don't know from this point ^_^ But let's FIND OUT! _\o/

Mallory POV~

"Rachel, stop playing with the dirt." Jess ordered Rachel from where she sat leaning against the metal building chunk. Since I really didn't have the whole story imprinted in my mind, I didn't exactly know what was going on, but I knew that this wasteland was not a pretty sight. I would never want this to happen to anyone, fictional or not. These people had protected me more than once, and even though I'm not all that powerful I wanted to do everything that I could to help them. Therefore, I was letting the two who were familiar with the whole timeline here make the plans. And here they are bickering. *sigh* Whatever.

"I think that we're going to have to split up." Rachel said from where she had plopped down on the ground.

"That's suicide, this is crazy enough with the three of us together." Jess reminded her, and I silently agreed.

"Think about it though, three different parties that we need to help us, three of us. Plus, we know what to say for the crazies and girly snake man to stay alive. Mal can go to Konoha where she will be safe and we can take care of this little debacle really fast." She explained. Well, I liked the part where I go to the good guys.

"You just wanna go hang out with the Akatsuki." Jess remarked. What is Akatsuki?

"You know that you want to too!" Rachel yelled back. Jess got a red face, what's the deal there?

"I don't care about the Akatsuki . . . as a whole." Jess muttered. What's that supposed to mean?

"Itawwwwwwwchi U-chi-ha *bats eyes* you know you love him 3" Rachel teased. Oh, Jess must have a crush on one of the members of this Akatsuki.

"SHUT U—

"What's Akatsuki?" I asked to postpone the fight that was about to start. They both turned towards me like they had forgotten me in the midst of their little battle.

"The Akatsuki is a very serious 'S' rank criminal organization made up of about nine very powerful ninja from various countries." Rachel explained as Jess began talking.

"The members include: Zetsu, a creepy plant-man who eats people and has a bad case of either bipolarness, or split-personaity disorder; Deidara, a bomb-happy pyromaniac with girly hair and creepy hands; Sasori, a . . . puppet with strict timetables and a passion for art. He constantly fights with Deidara; Kisame, a sharkman who is really a fish and is blue; Itachi, Sasuke's older brother who is the best, nicest, most amazin—moving on—sorry . . ; Pein, the leader with redish hair and probable hatred of metal detactors; Konan, she is that only girl, but don't underestimate her . . . just don't; Hidan, who swears a lot and is quite religious, we don't get it either; Kakuzu, a man who loves his money a little too much; Last, but not least, Tobi. Tobi is scared of fighting and loves to annoy Deidara. Too bad Tobi is actually (probably) Madara Uchiha. And instead of explaining to you how bad of a guy he is I'll just tell you that he would take candy from babies and stuff." Jess explained in a lot of detail, "Did you get all of that?"

"Yeah, but . . . what kind of horrible person does that?" I asked, a little worried.

"The same person who does this," Rachel answered as she gestured around us, "Unless Sasuke got really pissed off at the rest of the world for some reason . . . maybe Karin cut his hair in his sleep, or someone took his shampoo. I hate that."

"Rachel?" Jess asked.

"Hmm?"

"I hope that poor boy never has the bad luck to meet you." Jess said to her.

"Why? I'm not that horrible, of course if I meet him after he leaves his whole life behind to go to that good for nothing pedophile man who wants his body, I might be a little less than peachy, and he is not a 'poor boy' he's an ass who needs to learn from his friends and teachers that are trying to help him not take his body for their own personal gain and I don't care if he is gonna kill him later! Goodness, that was a run-on wasn't it?" Rachel said to herself more than anyone else. Sometimes I didn't understand that girl, she slipped into a little of a British accent at the end there, that generally means she needs some sleep.

"Yes, it was. If we do split up, I'll go get Sasuke and you can deal with the crazies/Akatsuki because you're random like that." Jess planned out loud. I was pretty indifferent about this, but I didn't want anyone to have to deal with a band of evil criminals.

"Why do we need the criminals? Aren't they too dangerous?" I asked.

"We need the criminals because they are powerful, and one of them is actually good. Of course they're dangerous, but this whole world is. Besides, I'll be fine, as long as I act oblivious as to what's going on they'll just ignore me, hopefully." Rachel told me with confidence in her voice.

"But, if you don't know anything won't they just kick you out?" I pointed out.

"Good point . . . I'll improvise." She smiled at me. This didn't reassure me in the least, but I did know my friend would be okay. She'd better be.

"You are so dead." Jess told Rachel with a smirk.

"At least I'm not volunteering to go to the pedo-man and his evil assistant with the poofy ponytail of DOOM." Rachel pointed out with over-exaggerated hand motions.

"I AM NO—

"So, what's this theory about us Rachel?" I interrupted again to avoid a yelling match.

"I'm so glad you asked. It's about what Minato mentioned about our chakra. I think that we might be able to time-travel!" She beamed.

"You're nuts." Jess muttered.

"I know, but I'm serious! I just think that we can only do it when we're together, maybe?" Rachel said with doubt beginning to creep into her tone. I didn't really believe her time-travel theory, but I did feel something when I threw that knife for help. I thought it was shock kicking in, but who knows, maybe it was this chalk-ra stuff.

"Who knows, maybe some crazy situation will just drop by and we won't be able to call Minato." Jess offered, earning a half-hearted glare from Rachel.

"Well, since we know where we're going, we should get a general plan, right?" I suggested.

"Right, here's what I have in mind." Rachel said proudly as we began to scheme. I was really only told who to stay away from, who was good, who was bad, who likes what, and a general description of major characters. After a while I was quizzed.

"Okay Mal, who was the first Hokage's granddaughter?" Rachel questioned.

"Tsunade." I answered, and she nodded in approval.

"Who was Itachi's bestest friend ever that he killed, but really didn't kill?" Jess asked

"Uhhh, Sushi?" I guessed, I hated Japanese names.

"Shisui, but close enough." Jess added.

"Girly snake man." Rachel stated at me

"Orochimaru." She nodded at my answer.

"Assistant that you should always stay away from."

"Kabuto." I answered with confidence again.

"Who is the son of the Uchiha clan leader that—

"Itachi." I answered right away.

"Hey, it could've been Sasuke!" Jess countered, I gave her a look and she gave a defeated look back.

"Okay, I think that we're ready, does anyone want to go over the plan again?" Rachel asked as Jess and I shook our heads, "Good, now let's see if we can get Minato and his chocobo head here."

I didn't even want to ask what a chocobo was. Rachel grabbed the kunai that Minute-o had given her days ago and threw it at the ground in a dramatic fashion. It stuck in the ground before falling over quite anti-climactically. She looked a little angry.

"That was great." Jess teased.

"Shut up! I'll get it this time." Rachel declared as she began throwing the strange looking knife everywhere in hopes that Minute-o would magically appear. Jess and I sat down and figured that we should wait it out; this could take hours.

~One hour later~

"OW! FU**!" Rachel yelled from a few yards away, I sat up from where I was dozing off.

"Did you do what I think you did?" I asked

"No . . . maybe." She muttered.

"And you all say that I'm dangerous with knives." I sighed as I stood up to go look at where my look alike friend had accidentally stabbed herself while she was on her mad rampage. I took the knife from her and took a look at the vicious wound. She either had tried to pick it up by the blade, or catch it by the blade by the way her palm was cut. I shook my head, "Did you wanna test how sharp it was or something?"

"It slipped." She muttered.

"Sure sure. Well lets go stop the ble—AHHHH!"I screamed as I ran into someone who was not there before.

"Oops, sorry bout that, I didn't know that you were holding the kunai. Where are we?" None other than Minute-o asked. I glared at him for basically making me fall over. I stood up and brushed the dirt off of me.

"You do not want to know, trust me, just don't ask." Jess told him as he looked around in wonder.

"So, what did . . . why are you bleeding again?" The blonde ninja asked Rachel, referring to when she passed out a few days ago from a head injury.

"Uhhhh, rock?" She offered weakly. I face-palmed.

"Did someone throw a rock at you?" He asked her.

"No."

"So . . . how are you bleeding?" He asked once more.

"I fell."

"On a rock?"

"No."

"Then why did you say rock!" He demanded at her avoiding the question, it was kind of hilarious. A grown man fighting with a teenager over a cut.

"It . . . attacked me." She told him. He made a confused face.

"The rock?"

"No, gravity."

"Nevermind, let me bandage that so it doesn't get infected." Minute-o sighed, I almost laughed. Rachel hated admitting to her clumsiness sometimes. Plus, she always says to never fight with idiots because they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. I wonder if she's the idiot in this situation . . . hm.

Once Rachel's hand was bandaged we told Minato that we needed to go back in time, but to different locations.

"Yeah, I can do that." He stated simply with a shrug.

"Are you sure?" Jess asked.

"Pretty sure." He nodded.

"You instill so much confidence." I muttered.

"No harm will come to you through the jutsu, and you have once more knife also, so I'm not too worried." Great, he's not too worried . . . that completely reassures me. I sighed mentally and linked arms with Rachel and Jess. We were all as ready as we would ever be, I was supposed to be going to a safe place where Mom would be, so it's not like I wouldn't know anyone, plus I had a frying pan as a weapon, what could possibly happen? I felt the air get dense like it normally does and held my breath. I let the weird sensation pass and opened my eyes. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness of night and realized what was around me. I was still linked on to Rachel and Jess who looked as horrified as I felt. When had we ended up?

"This is not good." Rachel whispered she must know what's going on. I shut my eyes to block out everything around me.

"This is the . . .

**A/N: WUAHAHAHAHAHA, another cliffy! When are they, what is going on? Hehe, I know! Review! I do love them and more reviews= faster updates! And more craziness is to come next chapter as this one was fairly boring and no I did not forget the 'plan' I just didn't feel like letting you know what it is, so guess if you wish! BYE!**


	13. Ooooh Chapter 13

**A/N: Well here you go folks! I am loving the reviews so much, you have no idea! And I just hit eighty pages! That's exciting! I hope you like where this is going! **

**I do not own Naruto blah blah, enjoy!**

**~Rachel POV**

"This is the Massacre." Jess said so quietly that I could barely hear it from a foot away from her. This was bad. We were obviously in the Uchiha compound. (the anime doesn't do justice to the sheer amount of red and white fans, they're everywhere!) Minato had sent us a few years too far in the past. I can't really blame him considering by this time he's not around. Poor Minato T_T

'**Get back on track missy!'**

'You sound like Sanosuke . . . right blood and danger.'

"Jess, we need to get out of here pronto." I told her, but she didn't hear me as she was either zoned out or mentally fighting with the wall that she was staring at . . . weird.

"Rachel, what's going on?" Mal asked from where she was still hanging onto my arm from the jutsu.

"This is the Uchiha Clan Massacre, I'm sorry that you had to see this. I didn't think that we would ever come to this point in time." I replied solemnly. I heard screaming in the distance and covered Mal's ears before realizing that Tobi was here somewhere along with Itachi. Great, "Jess, we need to get out of here now, we've seen something like this, sorta, but Mal is over here being traumatized. Jess?"

"Yeah, sorry, it's just . . . I feel so bad for Itachi right now." She answered sadly, I softened my expression for a second before going into my action mode . . . okay I don't really have an action mode, but I perform better under pressure and this situation is pretty big pressure.

"I know, I do too, but we can't think of that right now we need to get ou—

"Who are you?" Came a deep monotone voice that sounded suspiciously like Crispin Freeman . . . wait . . . that's not good. "Answer me now."

"Uhh, well I'm Rachel, that's Jess, and this is Mallory. Hi." I said to Itachi with a shaky voice because he could kill me at any second.

"WOW Sasuke got OLD!" Mallory exclaimed as she opened her eyes to see who we were talking to. I facepalmed.

"Mal, that's not Sasuke. Sasuke is an ass, this guy is not as much of an ass." I told her.

"He isn't an ass at all!" Jess told me as she punched me lightly.

"It might be genetic, besides we all have opinions. I wouldn't do what he is about to do—nevermind." I cut off as Itachi's gaze fell on me in all of its creepiness.

"Leave." He ordered as he glared at us with his sharingan activated. I was worried that Jess would do something stupid, but she actually just gave him this look of complete respect combined with a little sympathy. D'awwwwwwwww! I wish the atmosphere wasn't so serious; then I could make her really embarrassed or something.

"Um, Itachi? Yeah, don't tell me what to do, I'm not good with orders." I said defiantly just to see what his reaction would be. Jess whipped her head around at me and glared.

"Maybe you should learn to change that." Itachi suggested.

"I'm me and I will never even want to change it weasel." Okay, not the best idea, but who thinks before they talk in these situations?

"Leave or die."

"You would make a great car salesman." I replied without really thinking now. Jess clamped a hand over my mouth and gave me a look before making up an excuse for me.

"Sorry, she's . . . special." She told him . . . that was the best she could come up with! Oh well, she did finally get to talk to Itachi . . . mission complete. Now to get out of here alive. I noticed that Mallory had started to shake, not good. Another scream rang out and Itachi disappeared. Before I could turn back to Mallory she had taken off at a sprint. Not this again, damn flight reflexes. I took off after her as she took a right turn onto a wide street.

She was about fifteen feet in front of me and completely still. Bodies littered the street and a figure stood at the other end. That must be Tobi, he helped out with the massacre I believe. Not good, bad guy. In what felt like slow motion he turned towards us and I ran to Mallory. Tobi reached for something that I presumed would be a kunai or shuriken. I grabbed Mallory's arm, swung her around, and with me now between her and Tobi I pushed her behind a random crate to my left. I tried to jump after her, but there was a stinging pain in the right side of my back. I gasped for air and cursed before grabbing Mallory and running away as fast as I possibly could.

You know when you get a paper cut and there is hardly a mark, but it hurts like someone stabbed you? This was quite worse, and I thought paper cuts were bad. Plus, I was running. Lucky for me I was wearing a backpack which probably shielded most of me . . . besides the part that was hit. Somehow I registered that Jess had joined us in our frantic dash. Why wasn't he after us?

'**I think you thought too soon.' **

Tobi appeared in front of us. He wore dark clothes, but since it wasn't Itachi you could tell that it was him, or three of him . . . at this point I wasn't sure.

"Jess." I whispered, she squeezed my arm in response, "Think of where we should go and focus or something."

"You want to try that theory here and now?" She whisper demanded and I nodded.

"You're nuts, but why not." She said as she let go of me to put up a random hand sign that was supposed to do something. Hey, it's what they do in the anime, why not? I focused for the Akatsuki, but I was getting dizzy for some reason . . . oh yeah . . . knives . . . damn knives. I felt the air get heavy and someone gasped rather loudly. I had no idea what was going on, but I let the darkness take me anyway. Why fight it now?

Passing out is a weird feeling. Normally, after the initial nausea you kind of fall asleep, right? This time though, I had a dream. A freaking weird dream. It involved plushies. There was a Roy Mustang plushie, a Kisame plushie, a Katara plushie, and a random stuffed puppy. They were all having tea and playing ping pong . . . at the same time. How is that possible! They must've had mad skills . . . sorry I'm ranting. Eventually the dream ended with a plushie Deidara blowing them all up the end. I really need to stop passing out . . . strange things are happening now.

**~Jess POV**

My consciousness woke up and I was aware of beeping around me. A few of the beeps were really annoying, some were quiet, and one beep was really loud. Wait . . . what happened?

"Ah, you're awake." Came a feminine voice to my right. Okay . . . so . . . now I'm found out. I opened my eyes and cringed at the light that was on the ceiling right above me. WTF? Why would someone put me under a freaking light? These must be enemies . . . I looked to my right, and much to my surprise I found myself looking at Sakura Haruno . . . the Shippuden version. WHAT? I sat upright and Sakura yelled at me.

"Lay back down I just redressed your wounds and here you are opening them again, you're as bad as Naruto!" She grumbled at me as I gave her what probably looked like a deer in the headlights look.

"I'm in the Leaf Village? Is Naruto back yet?" I asked to get a perspective of the time. She gave me a weird look.

"Good to see you again too. Kakashi said that you might say weird things, but yeah Naruto came back about a month ago, why?"

"No reason, did you all go to confront Sasuke already?" I asked out of the blue again, this time she looked really confused.

"Yes, but how did you—

"Uhh, Kakashi told me?" I lied. Okay, it was a bad lie, but I never said that I was a good liar, did I? "Uh, so, how did I get here? What happened?"

"Well, all that I really know is that you freaked out the Hyuga family. According to Neji and Hinata you just appeared as a strong chakra spike flared up momentarily and there you were in their main room bleeding all over the floor. Kakashi apparently had a 'feeling' that it was one of you and came to see you numerous times." She explained as I just now realized that I was injured. What kind of painkillers was she feeding me!

"Oh, I should apologize I guess. How was I hurt exactly? I remember it was dark and I couldn't see much, but . . ." I muttered quietly as that night came back to me. The massacre, Itachi, and then Tobi. He had appeared in front of them, ready to attack. What happened next . . .

"Well, from your wounds it looks like a general kunai impaled you. It was pretty deep too. It's a good thing that Neji's Uncle got you here as quickly as he did, otherwise you would've died from blood loss. Oh, and you were impaled just below your ribs by the way." She added to the end of the explanation.

"Oh, well, look who's awake. I've got to say, I was worried that Rachel was going to come here and start yelling about your health or something completely unrelated to anything. How are you anyway?" The copy ninja asked as he walked in the door.

"MOM!" I yelled a little loudly, Sakura started to giggle.

"Thought so." Kakashi sighed.

"I remember that nickname that Rachel used to call you, I never understood it until you explained it Kakashi-sensei." Sakura laughed.

"So, where are Rachel and Mallory? Did someone treat Rachel's wounds, she was bleeding really badly." I asked blatantly, earning strange looks.

"We thought that you would know where they were." Sakura said. I could almost feel my stomach drop. The loud beepy noise got a little faster, that must be my heart rate. They weren't here?

"But, they . . . we . . . no! They HAVE to be here." I told them forcefully. Logically, considering that we always end up in the same place after we . . . wait. Who did the jutsu to get us here? No one summoned Minato. "My god, she was right for once. If she's dead, I'm gonna kill her!"

"Right, well, tell me how that goes after you heal and tell me what happened." Kakashi stated as I looked over to where he stood. He nodded for Sakura to leave and she reluctantly left. Kakashi sat down in one of the chairs and nodded at me to begin. I swallowed.

"You know that shopping trip that we went on?" I began.

**~Mallory POV**

For some reason the moment after the jutsu occurred I was wide awake and looking for my friends. Normally they are no more than a few feet from me. So, naturally my first reaction was to freak out.

"Omygod they aren't here. I'm trapped in a place that I know next to nothing about and they left me! What if a ninja bunny attacks me . . . do they have ninja bunnies . . . it's possible." I muttered to myself. At least I still have a frying pan, and a few pieces of rotten food in my backpack.

"What's this bitch doing here?" Came a rather obnoxious voice to my right. How rude.

"I do believe that she was the source of the chakra spike, Hidan." A masked guy told the rude one. Hidan . . . I have heard that before. Wait . . . cloaks with red clouds, these are the bad guys! The acats-ski! I was supposed to go to the good guys.

"But she's a little girl." Hidan pointed out. _Little?_

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Shut the hell up." Hidan ordered bluntly. What a mean person.

"We should take her to Leader." The masked guy, I cannot remember his name for the life of me. Cat-zu? Kaka? Hmm.

"Are you aliens or something? Don't say things like 'take her to Leader.' It can freak people out!" I told them in exasperation. I held the frying pan out in a defensive way even though I knew that I stood no chance at all.

"Is this girl serious Kakuzu?" Hidan asked Kakuzu sarcastically.

"That's your name! Kakuzu, god I could not remember that for—oh shoot . . . I said too much didn't I?"

"Yep." Kakuzu stated as he walked towards me threateningly. I held out the frying pan and swung, hoping that it would hit something.

"Nice try girly." Kakuzu's deep voice said as he disarmed me and tied my wrists in record time. Great, I hate ropes.

We started walking and it didn't take long before Hidan started to pick fights with Kakuzu. And they made no sense either; it was like listening to a 3rd grader arguing with a teacher.

"Why do these money people always have their stations in a bathrooms. It's pretty gross if you think about it. I mean I don't want to have to pee—

"Hidan."

"What? I'm just saying that it's pretty gross. What if I want to wash my hands? Is that water really going to be sanitary?"

"Hidan, they are stationed near restrooms due to smell—

"That's another thing. I have been in a lot of bathrooms and the only ones that smell really bad are the portable ones so I don—

"They don't care."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're fucking rude? You just keep interrupting people." Hidan scolded without a reaction.

"You _did_ interrupt him first." I pointed out from where I was walking behind them.

"Did I ask you, bitch?"

"Hidan, arguing with prisoners is frowned upon." Kakuzu stated.

"Yeah, Hidan, don't argue with me." I teased just to piss him off.

"Do we really have to bring her alive? I think Jashin wants to see her." Jashin?

"Who's that?" I asked.

"AN AMAZING ALL POWERFUL INDESTRUCTIBLE AWESOME AND GREAT GOD!" Hidan rambled off.

"Kay."

"Kay? That's all you have to say? Why you—

"You just rhymed." I told him.

"So? Rhyming isn't—

"So you're a poet?"

"What? No—

"And you don't even know it!"

"Fuck you girl!" He yelled as he reached for the red scythe on his back.

"Uh-oh." I squeaked as I hid behind Kakuzu. "Save me, pink eyes."

"Hidan."

"But she—

"I don't care." Kakuzu told him as we started to walk again. I stuck my tongue out at Hidan and he glared at me.

As we walked, my mind started to wonder what had happened to the other two. Right before we left that massacre time frame, Jess had jumped in front of both myself and Rachel to shield us from something. Not to mention that Rachel had been bleeding everywhere. I just hope that they're alright and alive. Heck, I hope that I can stay alive myself. I'm beginning to realize why they call these guys the crazies.

**~Sasuke POV**

I hate rain, it makes everything slippery and wet. This means that I have to use up more chakra to stay on trees. Maybe I'll just walk and piss off Orochimaru. I let go of my chakra and landed in the now damp ground below. I started to walk on the lightly used dirt road. The rain was light, but there was enough of it that I was wet fairly quickly. I started to pick up my pace, I hated colds. I knew that this road went fairly close to the hideout that we were currently staying at and stayed on said road.

After a while the road took a sharp turn and I saw something on the road as I rounded the turn. It looked like a rock at first, but then again . . . there wouldn't be a rock in the middle of a road. As I got closer I realized that it was a person that was either taking a nap or had passed out somehow. I went over to the body and the first thing that I noticed was the blood. It was everywhere. I tried to look at their face, but it was obstructed by hair. I knew it was a girl from her clothes. I don't care, but she seems familiar. I moved her from her side to her back and swept the wet hair from her face. My eyes widened. No a second thought, I scooped up the injured girl and took off at a run towards the base. No, I don't care. She might have information about my brother.

We were closer to the base when the rain stopped. I didn't slow down much, until she woke up.

"What's . . . ew. You smell bad." She spoke softly, it was really her that smelled bad, but I don't think she's lucid right now anyway. She looked up at me, and it was clear that she was in a lot of pain. "Sasuke? No . . . put me down . . . dammit. Not Orochimaru."

She emphasized her words with weak punches at me before she passed out again. How did she know that I had gone to Orochimaru? From what I understood she hasn't been seen for about three years. I sped up, she can't die now. What else did she know?

We got to the base quickly and the guards barely spared me a glance.

"Kabuto!" I yelled as I headed to the infirmary. I knew that any ninja could hear me from most parts of the hideout and that he would come.

"What now?" He asked as he came out of one of the rooms that he experimented in. As soon as he saw that I was covered in blood and the obvious fact that it was hers he took off after me towards the same destination, "Who's this?"

"An informant."

"So?"

"Hn."

"What happened and how long ago?" He asked as if I knew.

"I don't know I found her like this about fifteen minutes ago."

"In the rain?" He asked, I gave him a glare. He could ask the stupidest questions. Did he think that I threw a bucket of water on her to get her wet or something?

"Okay, I'll do what I can to save her, is she a ninja?"

"No."

"You have weird informants. Now get out." He ordered.

"Hn." I muttered as I stayed right where I was. For all I knew, he would take her body and use it in a jutsu and I could not have that.

"Fine." He answered as he began to stop the bleeding and such.

Why had she shown up now? And more importantly, why didn't she look any different. Even her hair looks exactly like it did back then. As if it was only hours ago. And what happened to her friends, or to her for that matter.

I watched as Kabuto stitched up Rachel. He kept muttering things to himself as he worked. Apparently she had lost a lot of blood due to a probable kunai wound to the lower right of her back and her middle back on the right side also. He suspected that this happened at least an hour ago. He also keeps muttering that she should be dead three times over. I will never understand how Orochimaru tolerates this guy. He finished bandaging her and turned towards me.

"She'll live. She'll need a lot of rest though. By all means she should be dead, but she's not. Some informant you got there Sasuke. I'll be going now." Kabuto said as he left the room to go do who knows what to some poor person. I turned back towards the girl on the table. I guess she shouldn't rest on a metal autopsy table all night.

**A/N: So, what did ya think? Good, bad, ugly? I feel bad for Rachel . . . I dislike Sasuke. He's an ass. A chicken one. ^_^ Anyway tell meh what you thought! Love you all!**


	14. Waking Up

**A/N: Wow, it has been awhile. I could give you all of my excuses, but it's better to just say that I was busy and volleyball sucks away any free time you think that you have. Good news, volleyball is over! This= faster updates! Yay! Since too many people to remember have favorite, reviewed, and followed and my email screwed up, I cannot put a shoutout to all of you, I apologize for this. Okay, so enough of my talking and boring stuff!**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto, but it would be cool to own a moose, they are really cute and fluffy.**

**~ Rachel POV**

I slowly became aware that I was awake and I had a really sore back. I really did not want to move though; it's too warm to move. I should really go back to sleep. I curled into the sheets a little more and took a big intake of air before my memories came back to me in a rush. My eyes snapped open and I could see that I was in a dimly lit room with a closet, a bathroom, and a closed door that probably led out of the room. I recognized this place, but I couldn't remember from what or where.

'**You should really get up.'**

'Nah.'

'**You could be a prisoner for all we know!'**

'So? A prisoner can't get a few extra minutes of sleep?'

'**We come to the Naruto world and you continue to act like it's a regular day. . . . unbelievable.'**

'Hehe, believe it.'

'***sigh* oh, I think that someone is coming . . . act natural!'**

'That is such an oxymoron.' I told my conscience as I closed my eyes and feigned sleep a little bit longer. The door opened slowly and without a sound. I heard light footsteps walk across the room and over to where the wardrobe thing was. OMG they're gonna go to Narnia . . . Mallory called it. I could hear fabric moving and my eyes flew open to see a shirtless Sasuke throw his shirt in a basket.

"Oh My God MY EYES! THEY BURN!" I yelled as I sat up and covered my eyes with sheets (which hurt my back by the way). I really didn't care too much considering I had two older brothers that walked around the house in their underwear constantly, but I did not want him to completely undress while I faked sleep.

"You are awake." He stated as he pulled his shirt back on. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I have a bad habit of sleep yelling." I said sarcastically with a 'no shit Sherlock' look on my face, "What am I doing here?"

"I have questions."

"Okay . . . so do I." I told him as I realized that I was sitting on Sasuke's bed. Ew Sasuke germs! Fangirls be jealous.

"My questions first."

"Depends on the question."

"How did you get injured?" He asked, catching me off guard. I had expected a full blown sharingan interrogation.

"Aw, is someone discovering compassion." I told him in a voice that I use to talk to my dog.

"Answer me." He demanded, I shrugged.

"Uh, some ass threw a kunai at Mallory; I threw her out of the way and was too slow to follow her I guess." I explained, leaving out the who.

"Where were you?"

"No no. It's my turn."

"Hn."

"How did I get here?" I asked as I gestured all around me.

"I brought you here." He stated

"WHY?!" I demanded as I leaned forward from where I sat. He scowled at me since it was his turn.

"Where?"

". . . um . . up your butt and around the corner?." I mumbled as he did not look amused.

"Tell me."

"Konoha." I said, which wasn't a total lie, he just wasn't specific enough. "So, why did you bring me here?"

"You have information that I want." He said as I nodded. He was right, I just don't think that I want to tell him most of it. I do value my life and if I told him everything he might just get all 'I'm a mad Sasuke, rawr' and end up killing me, which I would not be very happen about, as I'm currently trying to prevent world domination and stuff.

"Were you at the Uchiha clan massacre?" He asked with a glare.

"Bubbles." I said with a serious expression.

"Don't avoid the question." He ordered, ignoring my saying of the first word that popped into my head.

"Fine. Yes, I was." I told him with a little anger in my answer.

"Whose shirt am I wearing?" I asked for my question when I had noticed that me previous cheap light green shirt was missing. This shirt only came to above my belly button where most of my torso was bandaged up . . . thank god I still had on my sports bra.

"A previous shirt of mine, yours was covered in blood." He told me as I cringed, how bad had I been hurt? Now that I think, I do recognize the navy blue and the huge collar on this shirt. I was wearing the signature Sasuke shirt! Even though I do NOT like Sasuke, I have always liked this shirt.

"Where are your friends?" I froze. They weren't here?

"They aren't here?" I asked as he shook his head no. "You're sure? And how did I end up here of all places, I was supposed to go to the crazies. Maybe I shouldn't do that jutsu when I'm about to pass out . . ." I mumbled to myself.

"What jutsu?" He asked, perplexed by my mumbling.

"Nothing." I brushed him off as my mind wandered.

"Tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything." I told him even though that wasn't entirely true.

"I saved your life." He said as he activated the sharingan.

"Oh scary. You look just like Sebastian now." I teased and pissed him off. He walked one step closer before the door to his bedroom opened suddenly.

"So, your girlfriend is awake. Good, then she can swallow her pain meds a lot easier." Said Kabuto from the doorway. My eyes widened. I hardly even noticed the insult about myself because this guy creeped me out so much. Kabuto. If I wasn't afraid before I was now. This guy freaks me out more than anything. People ask me what I'm afraid of and I say Kabuto, even if they have absolutely no idea what/who I am talking about. I couldn't really explain why, but he just gives me the creeps. "Stay away from me."

"Well now, a little ungrateful aren't you? I did save your life, although I would much rather use you for experiments." He pointed out. Well, at least he wasn't in denial. He took a step closer to me and I scooted back on the bed.

"Ah, creepy pedophile nurse with unnaturalness!" He frowned.

"Don't you want the painkillers?" I shook my head.

"That could be some horrible incarnation of the rotten food that I was carrying around before I came here that is hell-bent on revenge and ready to kill me!" I'll deal with the pain if it means that he stays away from me. Sasuke could either read my mind or see the obvious look of terror written all over my face because he stepped in.

"Kabuto. Leave." He ordered as Kabuto gave him a dirty look in response before leaving the room without another word. I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

"Thank you. " I muttered.

"Hn."

This was going to be a fun filled time, wasn't it?

The next few days were spent by walking around randomly and bugging Sasuke to no end. Oh, and getting yelled at by Sasuke to stay in my room. Luckily, I haven't seen Orochimaru yet. I almost ran into Kabuto once though, I saw him at the end of a really long hallway, but I turned and ran. Oh, and I now have my own room down the hall from Sasuke. Thank god . . . . I did not want him changing in front of me again. Gross.

Most of the day Sasuke leaves to train and comes back later in the evening. He trains in this really big practice room thing ( I followed him once like the awesome stalker that I am) and he just stays there and trains. All day. I don't think he even goes to the bathroom!

It also took me a whole day to find the kitchen. Once I found it I took all that I could and stashed it in my room because I'm an evil hungry person like that. ^_^ And I got some new pants! They really aren't much different from the last ones, but they're softer and cleaner. Sasuke said that there weren't really any other shirts that would fit me besides the one that he had already given me. Besides his open shirts and a few of Kabuto's shirts; both of which I turned down immediately. Oh, and I finally got to take a shower! That was quite exciting, I stole Sasuke's shampoo and conditioner from his shower before he noticed so I could wash my hair too.

Anyway, now that you are all caught up I am sitting on my bed doing nothing and waiting for something to happen. I was finally bored enough of doing nothing. I got up and walked out the door after looking both ways for Kabuto. I could hear loud crashes coming from the direction of the practice room where Sasuke was probably training, and headed that way. Why not go annoy someone?

Once I got there the place was really dusty from where a part of the wall had been attacked.

"Hey, what did that wall ever do to you?" I asked with accusation in my voice.

"Hn."

"Fine. I see how it is. I'll just sit here, no worries." I told him as I sat down on the ground. He barely spared me a glance before resuming training. Fine then.

He started to chop up dummies in various different ways. Half the time I couldn't see him move so I gave up trying. That is until he did a cool hand spring thing.

"How did you do that?!" I asked him as he killed another dummy.

"Practice." He stated.

"Teach me." I demanded. He gave me a look.

"No."

"I'll tell you something that you would definitely want to know." I prompted.

"Tell me what?" He asked as he made signs for some jutsu.

"You gotta teach me how to do that first." I pointed out.

"What if you don't tell me anyway?"

"Then you'll just have to trust me, pretty boy."

"Fine, but don't call me that." He said.

"Thank you!" I yelled as I went over to the middle of the room where he was. He began to teach me how to do various acrobatic things, starting with a cartwheel. I could already do a cartwheel fairly well, so that was easy. Then he tried to teach me a handstand, not as easy for me. Although, it was entertaining to see Sasuke walk around on his hands. I fell on my face, on my butt, and on my head at least ten times before he told me I sucked at this horribly.

"Sorry I'm not a ninja." I muttered as I tried and failed again. I could almost see a light bulb go off in his head. Uh-oh.

"That's it," he said as he walked over to a wall and began to walk up it, "I know that you have chakra. So, walk up this wall."

"I _just_ said that I'm not a ninja, are you deaf Uchiha?" I yelled up to him as I walked over to the wall.

"Doesn't matter. You have enough chakra to do this, just control it."

"Easy for you to say." I mumbled as I tried to remember what Kakashi had taught them before. I tried to focus all of my chakra to my feet (however you do that) and put a foot on the wall, then another, then I fell. Did I mention that my back still hurt? Well, it does, quite badly.

"Just walk up the wall."

"If I remember correctly, you sucked at this too! And you even asked Naruto for help!" I reminded him. He was in front of me before I had a chance to register what I had said.

"How do you know that?" He demanded.

"Intuition?" I offered as he pinned me against the wall with a kunai to my throat. How cliché.

"Tell me now or—

"Or what? Are you going to kill me, pretty boy?" I jeered at him. His cold gaze met mine and we glared at each other until I realized that my right arm was starting to fall asleep.

"Why don't you tell me?" he asked, "this isn't even your problem."

"Says the boy holding a dangerous knife to my throat. No, not a problem at all, much less my problem." I pointed out as he took the kunai away from me and stepped back a few steps, "Look, whether you like it or not these problems are now my problems as much as they are yours. You can accept that or not, I don't really care. I will not tell you anything that I don't want to until you are mentally ready."

"I am ready!—

"I know exactly where Itachi is and I'm not gonna tell you!" I teased in a singsong voice, this was a lie of course, but to my lack of surprise I found the kunai knife at my throat again. This time there were two sharingan eyes trying to scare me.

"Tell me or die." Threat choice must be genetic.

"Exhibit A. You were too full of petty unreasonable anger to realize that you were just tricked. C'mon, that was kinda sad, I mean I basically told you what I was going to do and you still get mad. Really?" I told him as he slowly backed up and took the kunai away. His sharingan stayed active though. What did he think I was going to do? Ninjutsu? He eventually turned off the sharingan and started to walk away with a pissed off expression.

"What? Are you going to go pout now or something?" I called to him as he left. He didn't even flash a look of annoyance before walking very quickly out the door. I shrugged. Maybe he's on his man-period? Okay wall, I will defeat you! I mentally cheered as I took another running start at the wall.

~ 4 Hours later ~

"DAMN YOU WALL!" I yelled at the wall. I was bruised and bleeding a little from scratches, and I was really hungry now that I think about it. I was trying to run up this damn wall and failing miserably.

"Fine! You win this round, but I will get you!" I threatened the wall as I turned to leave the massive training area.

"My my, so much anger at an inanimate object." Came a rather smooth creepy voice from the direction of the door. I froze and lifted my gaze from the ground to where I knew Orochimaru would be standing.

"The wall just pissed me off." I said, trying to play it cool and not show the fact that I was really scared of snake man.

"Hm, well my dear, I just came to tell you that your chakra has intrigued me. You seem to keep throwing it around so much; I thought that you were fighting someone. And you're a little girl too, interesting." He said in his snake-like voice. I suppressed a shudder at the thought of him thinking my chakra was 'interesting'.

"Kay." I replied when I realized that I really had nothing to say. He gave me an annoyed glance.

"Do you know who I am little girl?" He asked in his creepy voice. And I thought the voice actor did a really creepy voice, but the real Orochimaru is much creepier.

"A guy in desperate need of a haircut?" I offered and clamped a hand over my mouth really fast. I tend to speak my mind when I get really nervous.

"You are a strange one aren't you?" He said to himself more than me as he turned to leave the doorway and head back to whatever room he came from.

I ended up standing there for at least another half an hour before hoping that he had made it back to his room and the coast was clear. I still wasn't over the creepiness of the guy, why the hell did Sasuke ever go to this creep willingly? That boy is more messed up than I thought! I shook my head and started to run down the hallways to my room, checking both ways before I made any turns. Once I got to my room I pondered what I could do about my lack of chakra control. I wish I could talk to Jess, or Mom, Kakashi is a teacher after all. I sighed again.

'**Geez, quit sighing all of the time, it's bringing me down. Although our situation couldn't be too much worse.'**

'Yeah it could! We could be dead, or be being tortured for information that we do have, or worse . . . have to deal with fangirls.'

'**Touche.'**

'So, do you have any ideas about the chakra?'

'**Yeah! Okay remember that one fanfiction that explained chakra control like paint?'**

'Nope.'

'**Okay well think of the layer of chakra like paint, if there is too much it will drip and run everywhere, if there is too little it might be splotchy, but if there is just enough then yay you can run up the wall!'**

'Well it's worth a try I guess.'

'**It was something like that at least..'**

'Great. Well here goes nothing!'

I gave up on running and tried to just walk up the wall in my bedroom. My first foot actually stuck, and I tried to get the second foot up there and it stuck too! I was so surprised that I fell off the wall because I lost concentration.

"Wow. So that's how it works!" I told myself as I started to do a victory dance in my room and singing I am the champion. I was still dancing when my door was thrown open.

"AHHHHHHHH! GOD KNOCK NEXT TIME ASSHOLE! I COULD'VE BEEN NAKED!" I yelled at Sasuke, who had opened the door unannounced. He glanced around the room and left without saying a word.

"Oh no you don't," I muttered as I followed him out the door, "What the hell Sasuke?"

"Hn." He replied as he went into his room without much of an explanation.

"Well . . . that was weird." I muttered to myself as I headed back to my room.

**A/N: Pretty short, I know, but don't worry! I will update soon enough! I love you guys, bye for now! **


	15. Mission Time and Football Players

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's the next chapter for yah! And It's a whole nineteen pages! I hope it makes sense, i probably did a crap edit job, hut you should get the general idea. Here ya go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or a tank... although I would love to own either... it would be much fun and have a lot of destruction involved. ^_^**

I'm not sad to say that the next month was uninteresting. I basically stayed away from everyone and anyone that came my way. I practiced my chakra control and considering that I have such little chakra and chakra control I think I've done pretty good. I can sort of stand on water now! (Should've heard my scream of delight after that accomplishment.) There was also the time when I realized that it was about time for my period and I had to follow Sasuke around trying to hint at the need for tampons without actually saying it. Anyway, I guess there have been a few interesting things going on, or about to go on at least. Apparently Sasuke has a mission soon and even though don't like Sasuke at all, I'm more scared of being left alone with Kabuto and Orochimaru. I would have a panic attack from paranoia before they even had a chance to do anything. Therefore, since I don't know exactly when Sasuke is leaving, I have been stalking him like a little fangirl. So far, either he hasn't noticed or doesn't care enough to ask what the heck I'm doing. I'm pretty sure that he just doesn't care.

"Ow." I muttered as I ran into Sasuke, who had stopped walking when I was thinking about something completely unrelated. He looked over his shoulder and glared at me in annoyance.

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!" I told him with a loud voice.

"Hn." He replied, but kept glaring at me, basically Sasuke speak for just tell me what you are doing or I'll never move.

"Fine. I want to go on the mission with you." I told him quietly. He narrowed his eyes, asking for an explanation.

"What? I don't want to stay here with Kabuto and Orochimaru. They could kill me, or like, harvest my chakra!" I said with crazy hand motions that almost smacked Sasuke in the face. He turned and walked away. Maybe it's an Uchiha thing? "I'll take that as a yes!" I yelled after him as I left to go pack what little things I had.

I looked at my backpack and the lack of things in it in disappointment. I mean, I don't really care about the frivolous things, but I kind of wanted a sleeping bag or something to stay somewhat warm at night. And what if it rained? Oh well, Sasuke will just have to deal with my complaining. My back pack basically had a toothbrush, an extra shirt, a few bandages that I stole from Kabuto, another pair of pants, and a comb that I stole from Sasuke. If I got attacked my best defense would be the toothbrush . . or maybe the comb. Yeah, I was so screwed.

'**But you probably won't die, like you would if you stayed here.'**

'Yeah.'

'**Too bad we didn't go to the Akatsuki like planned.'**

'Yeah.'

'**You're an idiot.'**

'Y—hey.'

'**Just checking. Get it together, we still have a very important mission to do! You even came up with the plan.'**

'Yeah, Yeah. I know I just have a bad feeling about this trip. Plus, It's been a little over a month and I still haven't heard from or about Mal or Jess.'

'**Don't worry, they can take care of themselves, even Minato said so.'**

'Oh, you're just as worried about them as I am.'

'**I know—**

My thoughts were interrupted by my door being opened slowly. I whipped my head around and briefly wondered how I had heard my door open, as it normally doesn't make a sound. The door opened and Kabuto poked his head in. I tensed up, what did he want?

"Hello there," he said with that creepy smile of his, "I just came to tell you that Orochimaru has requested your presence."

"Tell him that I'm disinclined to acquiesce to his request." I spat, quoting pirates of the Caribbean.

"He will not be pleased."

"Well he can kiss my a—" I clamped a hand over my mouth before I said something else really stupid. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. . . Kabuto narrowed his eyes at me before turning his head to look down the hall at something. Please tell me that's not Orochimaru.

"She is leaving on a mission with me." came Sasuke's voice from the hall. Thank god . . . never thought that I would think that about Sasuke. Since Kabuto had gone out into the hall, I opened my door so I could hear more of the conversation.

"She is not ninja."

"She is my informant, remember." Sasuke told Kabuto.

"Yeah, dumbass!" I yelled at Kabuto before hiding behind Sasuke really fast. Kabuto glared at me and if looks could kill I would be so dead. Oh well, it was worth it. Kabuto was livid, but didn't say anything as he turned to leave. Sasuke turned around to look at me.

"He would've killed you for that." He said matter of factly.

"Hence, why I hid behind you. Have you never heard of human shield?" I told him as he 'hn'd and started to walk down the hall, away from his room. "Where are you going?"

"We have a mission, remember. Unless you want to stay here and die."

"Was that sarcasm!?" I called as I started to follow him, swinging my backpack on my shoulder.

"Hn." He replied. Shocker.

After what seemed like forever we reached the end of a hallway and Sasuke grabbed a backpack off of the floor that I swear had not been there a second before. He shouldered the backpack and opened the door before us.

"AH IT BURNS!" I yelled at the bright light that blinded me when the door had opened. I realized that I hadn't seen daylight in a long time, I was low on vitamin D. Oh noes! I squinted my eyes in hopes that they would adjust to the light, but instead I ended up running into a wall. I opened my eyes fully and noticed that I had turned around and run into the door that I had just gone through to exit the hideout. "Omygosh! The world! Did you miss me!" I yelled as I knelt down on the grass and began smelling it like a weirdo.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke questioned me as he looked around the area.

"Getting high off of nature." I told him as he grabbed my backpack and started to drag me away. "No! I miss my grass . . . never mind, that could sound really . . . never mind." He ignored me, but let go of my backpack and began to run before jumping into the trees. I sweatdropped.

"What the hell Sasuke!? I can't do that yet!" I yelled up at him as he jumped back down.

"You have been training for a month and still can't do something as simple as this?" he said with no emotion, ever though an idiot could tell that he was annoyed.

"Sorry that you don't have trees in that huge training area." I spat back. He sighed.

"Just focus chakra in your feet, like normal, and then think of it like a spring board when you try to jump." He explained, I gave him a 'yeah, sure' look and focused my chakra like I would for climbing a wall and tried to do what he said as I jumped. Well, it worked. Except I wasn't expecting it to, thus I jumped about 20 feet into the air and gravity kicked in.

"Shit!" I yelled as I came crashing towards the ground. My only thoughts were that I wish I was unconscious because then I wouldn't expect the fall and I might live. I tensed up for my impending doom and waited. That is, until someone tackled me in the air. Ya know, in all these fanfictions you read about getting sucked into another world and falling from some cliff or tree or giant turtle that smokes; the girl gets caught and it's all 'I felt gentle arms surround me as I opened my eyes so find so and so looking at me with concern' , but not me, nope, why should I even think such a thing. I get linebacker tackled in midair by the emo ninja that put me up to this in the first place.

I hit the ground from the mid-air tackle that I assume was to save my life and had the weird taste of dirt in my mouth. I spit said dirt out and got up to see where that chicken bastard was. He was a few feet away giving me a ' I know I'm godly' look. Then I got an idea.

I walked up to Sasuke, attempting to look as embarrassed as I could, put on my best embarrassed face, tried to blush, and everything. Didn't he look smug, the asshole. I brought my hand back, about to slap the cocky bastard across his face and whipped my hand towards his face. If I had actually thought this plan through a little bit more, I would've realized a large flaw in my plan. The asshole is a ninja. Thus, he caught my wrist before I could slap him across his face.

"God, you are so infuriating! You won't even let me hit you when I'm mad!" I yelled as loud as I could to emphasize my anger.

"I just saved your life." He pointed out, ignoring the insults.

"By showing me how to jump like a ninja to my death when I was perfectly happy walking? And then tackling me out of the air and into the dirt to 'cushion' my fall to death?" I questioned as I tried to get away from the vice-like grip that he still had on my wrist.

"I didn't force you to do it, and if I hadn't 'tackled' you, you would be dead." I gave him a blank look before ripping my wrist away from him . . . okay he probably let me go, but still. I didn't say another word to him and just kept walking.

And no matter how boring that is, this is how the rest of the travelling part of the mission went. No words were passed between us, I didn't even look at him if I could help it. Honestly, I'm really bad at holding grudges, and I had already forgiven Sasuke in my mind because he did, in fact, save my life. Telling him this, though, would boost his ego more than needed so I just played the silent game, counted trees, and sang random songs in my head. When Sasuke wasn't looking I would even dance randomly due to sheer boredom. After two days of no talking, we finally arrived at a town and I broke the silence.

"Is this the town?" I asked as I looked around at our different surroundings.

"Hn." Really? That was how he was going to reply.

"HN!" I said back in a very mocking manner. He ignored me, of course, and started to walk towards an Inn sort of thing. I noticed that a lot of people gave us weird looks. I mean I was dressed like a guy and Sasuke was dressed like a stripper, but they didn't have to stare.

The interior of the Inn was fairly plain. Everything seemed to be a different shade of brown and it had the distinct scent of radishes. I don't like radishes, but I wasn't going to complain at the thought of a bed and room all to myself. That was much better than having to sleep outside for the past two nights. The lady at the front desk was also testing me. I was trying really hard not to laugh. First of all, she was dressed in this ridiculous outfit that made her look like candy had thrown up on her, and not in a good way. Second, the moment she laid eyes on Sasuke her face turned beet red and I was worried that she was going to fall over or something.

"We need a room for the night—

*Clearing throat obnoxiously noise*

"That is all." Sasuke finished as the girl fumbled with her words that she was trying to form. I rolled my eyes at her and kicked Sasuke.

"Hey, I need a room too." I whispered at him.

"I don't have enough money for two rooms." I laughed a little bit.

"Just ask the girl or something."

"Why would she—

"You can be really stupid for a smart person. Look, be like Nike and just do it." I whispered at him as he turned towards the poor girl and very bluntly asked.

"I don't have enough money, but can we get another room?" I face palmed, he couldn't be a little more smooth and lovey-dovey? To my surprise the girl nodded like her life's purpose had just been fulfilled. Good for her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING MIKARI?!" A deep voice boomed from another room. I turned to see the largest man in a dress that I had even seen.

"I-I they . . . um I'm sorry Ma'am." The poor girl stuttered and shut up.

"Ma'am?" I accidentally said out loud. The manly woman turned towards me slowly and the girl's eyes widened.

"I-uh- love your dress so much, I just had to tell you that those are my two favorite colors, and I wish I had one just like it, I would wear it everywhere and—

"Please excuse my . . . uh, sister ma'am . . . she's . . . special." Sasuke told the woman apologetically. I gave him the worst look that I possibly could before I realized that I had to play the part, or we would never get a place to sleep indoors. I walked over to a potted plant and began talking to it in a valley-girl tone of voice and after a few minutes that got boring so I ran up to Sasuke like I was all worried (he had been trying to explain my 'condition' to the people who ran the place I guess.)

"You see, she's adopt—

"Brother! The plant won't dance with me!" I cried as I tried to work up some fake tears. He sighed as if I had done this a thousand times and gave them another apologetic look.

"As long as you keep your sister out of trouble, you can keep the one room." Said the man/lady as if she were doing us a great favor. I mentally punched her in the face and beat her with the plant that I had just had a lovely conversation with. His name was Larry. Sasuke dragged me all the way up a flight of stairs as if I was an annoying, special, apparently adopted little sister. Once we were up the stairs I acted as normally as I ever do.

"I call the couch." I told him because everyone knows . . . the couches are more comfortable.

"Couch?" Sasuke asked as I froze. Don't tell me?

"There is a couch . . . right?" I asked seriously.

"No." A little part of me died as I heard that,

"Fine. I'll sleep on the floor." I proclaimed as we arrived at the room. The room itself was very basic. There was one bed big enough for two people, a nightstand with a clock that didn't appear to be working, a small bathroom, sink, and bathtub/shower combo . . . that was really it. They didn't even put a chair in the room.

"Hn." He mumbled as he went to walk out the door.

"Whoa. Where are you going?" I demanded as I realized that there could be someone (manager lady) that would want to kill me, and all I had to defend myself was a comb.

"To find out where our target is and how we should deal with him." He stated as I began to follow him. He glared at me and I glared at him.

"You know that I'll just follow you anyway and this way would be a lot easier." I said as he thought it over and continued to walk out of the Inn with me following him. "So, what exactly is our mission anyway? You said target? I take it that has nothing to do with the department store?"

"We are to track down and deal with a man by the name Ichi who seems to have neglected to pay a certain debt back to Orochimaru. He was last seen at a club in this town." He explained.

"We aren't here to . . . kill him . . . right?" I asked tentatively. I remembered that Sasuke didn't kill people if he didn't have to at this point still so I wasn't too worried.

"No."

"Kay, good." I replied as we walked out the front door of the Inn and out to the street of the little town. As we passed a few shops and food restaurants my stomach began to make itself known by yelling at me. I guess all that I have been eating the past month or so has been whatever happened to be in the fridge at the hideout and the few onigiri that Sasuke had brought with him for the mission. I could use some real food. I made the bad decision to ignore my hunger for the most part and kept walking with Sasuke to wherever he was going. Another thing I noticed was that a lot of people were giving me dirty looks. At first I just gave them dirty looks back and stuck my tongue out at them like the badass that I was . I finally realized that they were all girls . . . and they were staring at Sasuke before giving me a dirty look. They were jealous of me walking with the pretty jackass . . . they could take my spot if they really wanted to; I was tired of walking to be honest.

"Sasuke, do you realize that half of the female population of this town wants to murder me by disemboweling me with some sharp weapon of sorts?" I asked in a nonchalant way.

"What have you done to this town Rachel?" He asked in a tired voice. Oh, he thought it was my fault . . . gee thanks.

"Apparently I came here with you and it's a crime." I told him while giving another stupid face to a random girl who was glaring at me.

"What does that have to do with anything? I've never been to this town before." He replied with a little confusion evident in his voice. What? Was he blind (Hehe blind jokes) ? Didn't he see all of these girls practically drooling over him? Wasn't his guy supposed to be smart?

"Well, then maybe they just hate the fact that I wear an Uchiha shirt and don't have darker hair or something, or maybe they don't like the fact that I'm just here at all." I babbled off while he ignored me and walked into this shady looking little bar/restaurant place. I hesitated at the door a little bit, but followed him into the place regardless, what was I going to do outside? Wait for the fangirls to slowly kill me? Not going to happen.

I walked into the place and this first thing that I noticed was that it smelled like mayonnaise. Weird. The place had a bar along to left wall and a few tables and chairs scattered about. There were large booths for people to sit along the right wall and no windows. Plus, there was this very pathetic looking plant in the back corner that just made me all sad inside. Sasuke went and sat at the bar and I sat on the stool next to him.

"What can I get for you two?" asked the bartender once we sat down. Sasuke, being rude, said nothing.

"I'll have some water and my deaf cousin will have some tea." I told the bartender with a smile as Sasuke gave me a dirty look. There were only a few other people I the little place and most of them looked like they were in desperate need of a bath, the other few looked like they were about to kill us for walking in the door. The bartender came back with what I ordered and I thanked him as I sipped a little water. I wondered what the point of coming here was for a little bit until a big group of grungy looking men came into the bar. I just stared at the colorful wallpaper and ignored them as much as I could. Sasuke had some intense look of focus on his face that made him look like he had cramps.

After about forty-five minutes of sitting and counting the designs on the wallpaper I realized that I was still pretty hungry and had to pee.

"Sasuke."

" . . ."

"I have to pee."

" . . ."

"Kay, excuse me Mr. Bartender?"

"Yes?" The bartender replied from the other end of the bar.

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked rather loudly.

" . . ."

"What?" I asked when I realized that everyone in the restaurant was staring at me as if I were nuts, even Sasuke gave me a look.

"Um, down the hall, second door on the right." The bartender answered me after the uncomfortable silence was over.

"Thanks!" I told him as I hopped up and headed to where he had directed me.

I washed my hands in the little sink that they had after I had finished my business and walked back out into the bar/restaurant part of the place and was met with a flying glass. I ducked as fast as I could and was able to dodge to object. I snapped my head up to see what seemed like everyone in the bar attacking Sasuke . . . and failing I might add. I sighed at them, they had no idea who they had pissed off. I wonder what they did to him to make him so angry. Okay, well angry might not be the right word, he didn't really look particularly pissed off, but it's not like he shows emotions much. I was standing there with a -_- look plastered on my face when I felt someone grab my arm and forcefully take me from the bar via crashing through the door. After I gathered that I was being kidnapped I looked at my attacker who happened to be Sasuke . . .

"HOLY SHIT! SASUKE HAS A TWIN BROTHER! AND HE'S KIDNAPPING ME!" I screamed at him. Sasuke's twin brother ignored me . . . they're so alike. Before I knew it I appeared in the hotel room that Sasuke had bought earlier. Literally, just appeared. I felt like throwing up and had a weird taste of orange juice in my mouth.

"Shadow clone." Sasuke's twin brother told me. Oh . . .

"So . . . you're a clone?" I guessed. He sighed at me in an exasperated fashion.

"You're hopeless."

"HEY! HYPOCRITE!" I yelled back at him, he glared. "DON'T LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!"

"I'm the original, not a clone, and stop yelling, I don't want the manager to come and kick us out of here." I had to agree with the guy there. I huffed and went over to the bed and grabbed one of the pillows off of it and threw it on the floor. I didn't have to look to know that Sasuke was watching me wondering what the hell I was doing, I could feel someone watching me. After I threw the pillow on the ground I curled up on the floor without a blanket and planned on taking a nap. I was all set before my stomach made itself known to a greater part of the world by growling. In my mind I rationalized that if I went to sleep I wouldn't be hungry so I focused on sleeping; which is the worst thing to do when you really want to sleep. I vaguely heard the door open from across the room and figured if I was really in danger Sasuke would get off his lazy ass and attack the person for disturbing his meditation, or whatever.

The next thing I knew there was an amazing aroma of food that was never going to let me fall asleep. I opened my eyes and rolled over to see where the great smell was coming from. I didn't have to look far because right next to me was a little box full of strange food that I have never seen before, plus rice. I didn't care that I had no idea what it was, I ripped apart the chopsticks and started inhaling the food. I owed Sasuke one, I won't be ashamed to thank someone who gives me food.

"Next time we're in public, don't ask where the bathroom is so loudly." Said Sasuke from where he just appeared near the bathroom door.

"Why? It's just the bathroom?" I asked, confused. He should hear how people ask to go to the bathroom in public high school if he thinks that I'm bad.

"You are hopeless, aren't you? Either way I found the target and I'll deal with him tonight." He told me as he turned towards to bed. The jerk, he didn't even offer to let me have it. Such a gentleman he is.

"You aren't going to kill him right?" I asked for the second time.

"Hn." He replied. Such a talker. I huffed and decided to take a nap without questioning him further.

I woke up to the sound of a door closing and sat up as fast as I could. Thinking he could do this without me huh? I grabbed my shoes and a thin cloak that Sasuke must've packed and left lying on the ground for no reason. Oh well, mine now. I yanked the hood over my head and took off towards the exit of the hotel.

Once I was outside I finally realized that it was nighttime, probably late. The only people that were around were a few early night drunks and some girls looking to get kidnapped . . . or paid. Either way to make it simple, it wasn't a family friendly atmosphere. I figured that the best place to look for the asshole was to head to where we had been earlier that day, the bar. I walked down the familiar path that I had been down earlier and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the bar. It had completely transformed. There was a long line of people outside waiting to get in and every now and then someone who was seemingly very drunk would get kicked out, or someone would just leave in a daze. Before I knew it my arm was grabbed, once again, from behind me and I was being dragged somewhere against my will.

"Go back to the Inn." Ordered Sasuke. I glared.

"You know, maybe if you would say things in a nice way, like with a please, people would want to listen to you."

"Hn."

"And if you didn't realize it before, I'm not going back to the Inn; you aren't the boss of me Uchiha." I spat back at his cliché reply, "So, how're you going to get in there? Just push your way through all crazy, or stealthy kitty cat mode?"

"No one should know that I'm involved."

"Kitty cat then, gotcha. So . . . are you going to just wait for this guy to come outside or what?"

"Hn."

"Then why did you even bother coming here? This is a very stupid plan pretty boy." I stated truthfully as I was expecting a lot more intelligent plan. He ignored my rant, like always, and I decided to do something about it.

"Give me your shirt." I ordered Sasuke. He turned around to see me taking off my own shirt . . . I had on a bra type thing, don't worry. He gave a sort of blank, I'm not sure what you're about to do, but I want no part of it, look and I rolled my eyes. "Look Mr. Prissy Pants, I'm going to go in there, make this guy come outside so this whole ordeal can be done and over with sooner, and I can go sleep."

"There are only prostitutes going into that building and you are not skilled in transformation techniques, and there is a chakra barrier that even I cannot get through." He explained as he tried to figure out what I was doing, which wasn't all that difficult to figure out.

"It's called a disguise, dumbass. Now give me your stripper shirt and weird purple butt-cape, I need to dress like a hoe." I told him as I held out my hand . . . I'll just mention that I was getting kind of cold just sitting there in my bra and pants. He shook his head and gave me his lack of shirt and purple whatever it is that he wears below that. I wore the purple thing like a skirt, and it covered enough that I wasn't too nervous about taking off my capri pants, I still had on my underwear after all. I put the stripper shirt on and I did feel self-conscious because everyone could see my bra, but oh well. It's more than a swim suit, right? I noticed that Sasuke was looking away the whole time, and that he really did have pale skin . . . and abs. . .

'**Mind on the path of purity Chica.'**

'Right, we have a job to do.'

'**A job that requires you looking rather . . . cold.'**

'I am actually.'

'**Let's just get this over with.'**

Without a second glance at Sasuke, I headed towards to Bar. I mentally kicked myself for not having slutty shoes, but decided that being half naked would have to do the job. I took my hair out of its ponytail/messy-bun type thing and shook it out as I passed the bouncer guy and went to the back of the line.

"Hey, you!" I turned and almost went into a fighting stance, but got my composure and plastered a girly, surprised look on my face. I pointed to myself, and the person who had yelled out to me nodded.

"She's with me." The man told the bouncer as we walked into the Bar without a problem. The man wasn't ugly, but he was old enough to be my father and that alone creeped me out. I swallowed the urge to throw up and tried to act like all of the other girls in the room. I looked around for this target before I realized something horrible. . . I never asked Sasuke what he looked like. Uh-oh. I felt my stomach drop and the blood left my face.

"I'll have my usual, Bartender, plus one extra for the lady." The man told the bartender. The bartender gave me a second glance, no doubt recognizing me from earlier. I gave my head a little shake, hoping that he wouldn't say anything.

"So, I haven't seen you around before, are you new?" The man asked me as I nodded.

"What's your name?"

"Uh . . . Sakura." I responded without really thinking about it.

"Well, Sakura, I'm Ichi." Why did that name sound familiar? I tossed the though aside and focused on the fact that this guy's breath suggested that he had been drinking for awhile. Plus, he kept getting closer. I smiled at him.

'O MY GOD I WANNA PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!'

'**What happened to 'we have a job to do?'**

'Shush it.'

I leaned over to Ichi's ear and he gave me a funny look.

"Why don't we take this elsewhere, hm?" I whispered to him, clearly suggesting something that isn't rated PG. He gave me a creepy grin that made me want to throw up for the second time. I led him down a hallway that led to the back door, I grabbed the door handle and was almost free, but why would it be that easy? Silly me. I was yanked back and smashed against a wall. This time, it was definitely not Sasuke. I tried to force up a few tears and keep up the act, but it really wasn't working for me.

"What are you doing?" I demanded as I was still being pressed against the wall.

"Who sent you?"

"No one." I answered truthfully.

"Why are you here?" He yelled at my face.

"When did you figure it out?" I asked calmly.

"When you suppressed what seemed like a gag reflex." He answered.

"Oh, I thought I covered that up better, but seriously man, try some breath mints or something." I retorted at him as his face got really red.

"Enough! I don't have to deal with this."

"Is this the part where you try to kill me?" I asked as he took a kunai out from under his coat, "I'll take that as a yes?"

He swung the kunai at me as I used chakra to propel off of the wall, but ended up smashing through the ceiling and into the second floor. Where a couple was . . . uh yeah.

"Whoops, hope I'm not interrupting." I said as I opened the window and jumped out to land in a back alley type deal. I took off at a jog, trying to find a way to get to the front and main roads. Before I knew it, I was being tackled. I could only let out a small gasp before the wind was knocked out of me. I opened my eyes to see Ichi, the bastard, pinning me to the ground.

"You have zero seconds to get off of me before I start screaming." I told him as he just grinned maliciously and pulled out the kunai again. Before he did something really bad I decided to follow through on my threat.

"RAPE!" I screamed and kept screaming as I struggled to get away from this creep. Within seconds, he was off of me and being punched in the face by someone. I sat up and went over to where Ichi was being beat up by some guy that I had never seen before. Once the guy had finished beating the crap out of the bastard he got up and turned to me. Whoever he was, he was cute. He had dark brown hair that was swept to the side and cut fairly short, but not too short. He was wearing a big jacket and regular pants, and he was tall.

'**PATH OF PURITY!'** I shook my head and he gave me a weird look.

"Are you alright?" he asked with a voice that I could probably listen to all day and not get sick of it.

"Yeah, thanks, but I had it all under control."

"I could see that." He laughed, I felt my face heat up.

"What's your name?" I asked, my facebook stalker instincts kicking in.

"Ic—

Before the mysterious hot guy could finish his sentence, he was hit with a ball of lightning by none other than Mr. Prissy Pants himself. The jutsu ended and The guy who had saved my life fell over in a pool of blood. My eyes widened, I had never had a problem with blood or even bodies, but this was the first time I had seen someone who is alive die. I put a hand over my mouth and slid to the ground and into a sitting position. Sasuke came over to me and put a cloak over my shoulders. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Why?" I asked in a quiet voice that I knew he had heard.

"That," he said as he pointed to the body of the guy who had just saved my life, "was Ichi, my target."

"But—

"I didn't mean for you to see that." He told me and I nodded, I was feeling numb. I got up silently and headed for the hotel and if anyone had attacked me I was sure that I would've been quite the bitch.

The trip back to Orochimaru's was very uneventful and I'm glad to report that I didn't take long to get back to my glorious personality. Regardless of my rather depressing travel companion, I kept my mind occupied.

"How does your hair do that?" I blurted out after a long moment of silence.

"It's natural."

"No amazing hair gel or anything? No sleeping upside down like a bat?" I asked and got a dirty look in return, "It was just a question, sheesh, don't go getting your panties in a wad."

"Hn."

"Hey, Sasuke? Um . . . how long are you going to wait?" I asked with a shy tone, not wanting him to blow up in my face. He was quite for a long time before he finally answered me.

"Until you finally tell me how you know everything." He replied without looking at me. I sighed and stopped walking, looking up at the clouds. Sasuke kept walking and I knew that he wasn't going to stop unless I said something that was worth his time.

"I . . . I don't belong here." I said in a quiet voice. Sasuke stopped walking, but didn't turn around.

"Obviously."

"You aren't making this any easier, asshole! I mean I'm not from here at all, that's why I make references that make so sense, I talk funny, I have rude humor, and I don't know when to stop. I come from a place where you hardly have to walk anywhere if you don't want to, where there is a different kind of violence, there is no jutsu, they have this amazing stuff called nutela, and . . ." I don't like to admit that by this point in my little rant I was choking back my tears. The sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze seemed louder and everything began to blur in front of my eyes. I had never been away from home this long and it was slapping me in the face that I might not be able to go back, "Look, Sasuke, whether I like it or not I'm stuck here and I have seen things that I would have rather not seen. I do know a lot about you, heck, I probably know everything that there is to know about you. And before you say it no, I am not a stalker. Where I come from this place is a fictional story; a story that hundreds of thousands of people have come to know and love. I understand if you don't believe me, I wouldn't believe me."

". . . hn."

"I say all of that and all you have to say is HN! God, I'm going to fucking murder you in your sleep with a toothpick!" I screamed as I began stomping in a random direction in the forest. Somewhere in my mind I rationalized that if I stomped away in an angry fashion he would leave me alone. This mind set got me about ten steps before he appeared in front of me.

"What, asshole?" I snapped at him.

"I don't believe you." He told me. I laughed and had a 'figures' look on my face. "But I have no choice, but to trust you. It's not like you could hurt me."

"Ah, but I excel at pissing you off and we all know that I do that all of time." I replied with a smirk.

"Hn." I scoffed at that, I doubt that he can go through a whole conversation without saying hn. He began to walk away again and I followed after a while because face it, without him I would be dead in a few days in this territory.

As it turns out, we were about an hour away from the hideout. I can't say that I was happy, but it was going to be nice to sleep in a bed for once. Sasuke mentioned something about training with the pedophile and took off while I went to my room to take a nap. I got to my room and threw my backpack on the floor, took off the cloak that I still had on and threw that on the floor also. I walked over to my bed and flopped down, I think that I was asleep before I hit the bed.

I was woken up by the sound of rumbling, at first I really didn't register what it was and walked over to my door. As I put my hand on the door handle I finally realized what that sound was, rocks breaking. A lot of rocks. I was willing to bet my life that Sasuke was fighting with Orochimaru to the death (sort of) right now. I grabbed my bag and cloak that I had thrown on the floor and ran out of my room and headed towards the nearest exit as fast as I could. I wanted to get out of this creepy snake pit as fast as I possibly could. After finding the wrong door eleven times I opened to right door that was an exit and started running a little ways away from the hideout. Sasuke could figure it out, it's not like I'm going too far or anything. I found the nearest tree and decided to climb it and wait.

After what seemed like an hour I saw someone else open the door to the hideout. From the door came Sasuke and Suigetsu, neither of them looked particularly happy to be near the other and Sasuke looked particularly angry. I was messing around with a part of a branch that I had snapped off of the tree that I currently occupying. I took the stick and threw it in their general direction before jumping after it. The stick almost hit Suigetsu and he seemed to get all flustered about it.

"What the hell, who threw a freaking stick at me!" He yelled, Sasuke seemed to have a sort of knowing look on his face and looked to where I was landing my jump.

"So, I guess the answer was 'soon'?" I teased, referring to when I had asked him when he was going to kill Orochimaru. He ignored me and began to walk in a direction that probably had some point. I scoffed and turned to the white haired ninja. "I'm Rachel, I have information and stuff."

"I'm Suigetsu, I turn into a puddle and like to cut things."

"I think that we'll get along great!" I smiled as we began talking and decided that we were going to mutually piss off Sasuke to our hearts' content. This was beginning to be a fun trip, I even made a few friends.

**A/N:Tell me what you all think! Reviews make my day and I love them! I may not have another chapter up for awhile, but I will try my best to write more diligently for all of you!**


	16. Learning and Olympic Workouts

**A/N: Hey guys! I know you were all loving me pissing Sasuke off to no end, but I had to let you know what was going on with Jess and so this chapter was born. I'm still not sure if I like what I did with it, and I tried to keep it 'realistic' so I hope you like it too lol. Not as much random stupid humor in this, but don't worry the humor will come back I promise. Plus! I finished the outline! Therefore, I now have an ending to the story and it's gunna be good! *dances* Okay Ill shut up nao! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I have no idea what Olympians do to work out.**

Jess POV

I was still disgruntled by the fact that I had absolutely no idea where my friends were, but I had to have a little faith that they would be okay. Of everyone, I was worried for Rachel the most seeing as she can make the stupid rash decisions that she can't handle most of the time. Mallory would be fine because everyone who meets her can't help but like her, there is no one who hates Mallory. I just had to trust that they found people who would take care of them and that we would meet up someday to follow through with the plan. In other news, I had almost healed completely and am currently annoying Mom with the idea of training me to become a ninja, but he just poofs away and reads his dirty books. It's only been two weeks, but I need something to keep me occupied and all they're giving me is books to read for passing time. Now, don't get me wrong, I love reading, but medical textbooks tend to be pretty dry reading material. That is until I got to chapter fifteen of a particularly boring anatomy book on the effects of chakra use and the body. Chapter fifteen was about jutsus that affect the eyes. My eyes widened and I took off from my small room in a random part of the hospital. (Tsunade had yet to give me an actual room.) I ran through the familiar halls to the front desk.

"Where is Sakura working right now?" I asked the secretary politely as I caught my breath.

"She should be in the south wing, redressing wounds, I believe." The secretary replied. I nodded and thanked her before taking off again. After dodging a few gurneys and taking one wrong turn I found the pink haired medic.

"Sakura!" I called, trying to be quiet, but still earning some dirty looks from various nurses that were power-walking from room to room.

"What is it?" she asked as she finished bandaging up a ninja and looked up from her work.

"Teach me." I asked. She gave me a look that would probably be classified as shock that I wanted to be taught, and by her no less.

"Uh, I don't know if I'm qualified to—

"Sakura!"

"Tsunade, what are you doing here at this time of day?" Sakura asked her sensei who had appeared randomly, clearly confused.

"I need you to go help in the emergency room, they need some help in there." Tsunade ordered as Sakura nodded and left to go save lives and stuff. I watched her leave and turned to the Hokage with determination in my eyes. This was never going to work, but I would regret it for a long time if I never even asked.

"So, I heard you want to learn something? Why?" Tsunade asked me with a questioning gaze, seeing my determination.

"I want to become a medical ninja so that I can save my stupid friends and the one that I think I love." I replied without hesitation. She smirked and began to walk away. I dropped my head in a sort of pout and began to head towards my room in defeat before she yelled back. "I'll see you tomorrow at seven in the morning, training grounds."

"YES—I mean, thank you Lady Hokage." I corrected myself. As I began to do a little happy dance, not caring what the other people thought. I ran back to my room and got all of my clothes ready for the next day before getting out about three medical textbooks and started reading as much as I could. Back in my world I was one of the top of the class, my memory was great, not photographic or anything, but I could retain a lot in a short amount of time. I also grabbed a pencil and notebook and began taking notes on whatever I could. By about nine p.m. I had gone through two textbooks and had to stop myself from working through the night, that's a bad habit of mine. I went to sleep thinking about the muscular system and how it connects to the chakra system and so on so on.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO EVADE THE BALL!" Tsunade yelled from across the flied where she was pelting balls at me. I had been training for a few days already and this was all that we had been doing so far, and needless to say, I wasn't very good at it. I had already gotten hit with a soccer ball seven times and was pretty sure my whole body was bruised. I was not going to give up though, if Sakura can do this, so can I! I nodded to my teacher and waited for the next ball to come. I focused my chakra to my feet like I had been told and as the ball came flying at me I dodged once, twice, and a third time. Mental party! Tsunade nodded before motioning for me to come over to her.

"I know that you have been reading a lot of medical books, but nothing is better than hands on training." She told me as I nodded and began following her towards the hospital. Needless to say, I was very excited. I knew that my chakra control was up there in the charts, nothing like Sakura's and nowhere close to Tsunade, but better than the average beginner. We were headed to the particular part of the hospital that has all of the medical labs and the morgue as well. We were going to a room that held all of the dead fish. I've got to say, the smell is awful. I stopped myself from gagging and tried to concentrate on anything else.

Tsunade got a fish from the fridge that had already been dead and began to tell me a lot about what I was going to do and how I would do it. I was going to use my chakra to see the muscle structure and figure out how this particular fish died. I nodded and got to work. I called my chakra and began to focus it to my hands and put them over the dead fish. I moved my hands around and closed my eyes like I had been taught and felt nothing. What? I focused more and moved my hands to a different section. I eventually let my chakra focus go and looked up, completely confused. Tsunade saw my confusion and smirked.

"Let me know when you figure it out." She told me as she walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Great, I hate critical thinking.

Regretfully, the next three hours were spent with me wasting a lot of chakra, cursing at a dead fish, and looking at a few more books. I finally sat down and stared grumpily at the damn fish. Was this whole thing a trick question? I know that I almost always have a tendency to over-think things. Okay, I just need to calm down and look at this from a stupid point of view, then it should all make sense. Since I haven't found anything particularly wrong with the fish physically, it hasn't been poisoned, and it's not all that old either. I smacked myself in the face a little harder than I intended to. Wow, I really did over-think this. I got up and made my way to Tsunade's office.

"So, did you figure it out?" the Hokage asked as I walked in the door.

"I did."

"And?"

"The fish died due to being taken out of water. One could also say that the fish drowned due to lack of oxygen." I stated with confidence.

"Really, why would you say that?" she asked in a questioning tone.

"I'm confident in my diagnosis, Tsunade-sensei, it could've been nothing else." I explained.

"Good. You passed your first test with flying colors. A medical ninja has no room for second-guessing, nor do they have the time. Go rest up for tomorrow." I nodded and left the room, full of excitement. I had passed my first test, and I had only really been training for about a week. I was very happy right now, I ran to my little hospital room that I had designated and jumped onto my bed. I opened the last textbook that I had been reading and began taking notes; I promised myself that I would only do this for a half hour. This was an important book, a book that went into detail about ocular jutsus and everything that the hospital had gathered on the effects of the sharingan and byakugan. This book also had limited knowledge of the rinnegan. That really surprised me, even though I probably knew more about the rinnegan than this book due to watching the anime and reading the manga. I had extensive notes on the sharingan section, which is what I needed, but I was always looking for more information. After about another half an hour I began to feel the drawbacks of using so much chakra earlier today. I have been told numerous times by a few people that my chakra reserves are pathetic. I wondered why, but I knew that I can build it up over time. In a way I would love to do that, but another part of me really wanted to go home and see my family and the other friends that I had at school. I tossed my notebook on the floor and turned off my bedside lamp before snuggling into the blankets. I fell asleep thinking about how much easier this would all be if I had my iPod and a way to charge it.

During the next month my days consisted of training, dealing with dead fish, and reading about everything that I could get my hands on. I knew that I was progressing quickly due to the fact that I was older than the average gennin who wanted to become a medical ninja, even though I probably had the same or less amount of chakra than they did. No one really knew why I had such little amounts of chakra, but my chakra control made up for it. I had gotten really good at chakra control. I would often sit in top of the water in my bathtub and read so the control became second nature to me at a faster rate. Tsunade gradually began teaching me more and more taijutsu so that I could protect myself when the time came. I figured that the only jutsu I would end up learning would be medical based, but as Kabuto always demonstrates, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I personally hate Kabuto, but he has some good offensive uses of medical ninjutsu, even if he's a creepy psyco. Sakura and Ino would also help me out and answer any random questions that I had about whatever I was dealing with at any given time. Sakura was also teaching me how to use my chakra control to my advantage during a fight like she does. So far, I can make a dent in the ground! I'm pretty bad ass. I've already read any books that Tsunade had recommended for ocular jutsus and their side effects. To help me understand eyes better I've been really examining the eyes of fish. This really doesn't help me too much, but it's better than re-reading text books. After the first month I got a really stupid idea, but to me it was a very good idea.

The grand idea was to see if there were any classified documents about the sharingan. The only way to do that would be to break into the room that held all of these documents. I would help Sakura with paperwork that Tsunade neglected more often than I should, so I knew where a lot of secret documents were held. The only tricky part was sneaking into there. I had no knowledge of genjutsu, and my ninjutsu was all medical, and I hadn't even tried it on a person yet. Somehow I rationalized this plan in my head and here I was in the dead of night, standing in front of the room that held said documents. I focused my chakra and released the first traps just as I had seen Sakura do many times in the past. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room before bracing myself for an attack. After about ten seconds I opened one eye, and then the other eye. I let out the breath that I had been holding and took another step, then another. I tip toed my way across the room to the section labeled "S". As I went through the documents I finally came across a scroll labeled "Sharingan" and I took it off of the shelf. I opened it and at some point it crossed my mind that I don't know Japanese, but I could understand every word. I shrugged it off and kept reading. After about twenty minutes of the same info that I already knew, I read a few paragraphs that described what I needed to know in extreme detail. I could feel a smile creep onto my face.

"What do you think you're doing, Jessica?" I must've jumped three feet into the air and landed on my feet.

"Holy shit Mom! You scared the crap out of me!" I whisper yelled at Kakashi who had appeared behind me.

"I know, but seriously, how did you get in here without really being noticed?" he asked.

"Well, you noticed me didn't you? And I just kind of walked through the front door." He gave me a skeptical look and I knew that he was suspicious of me and my reasons for being here.

"So, what are you doing in here? Don't you already know everything that there is to know about everything?" He asked me. I sighed and was debating whether or not I should tell him about Itachi and how I want to heal his eyes.

"I do, but this isn't part of the plotline, not really at least."

"You mean that you want to change something? In order to prevent that horrible place from becoming a reality?" I nodded and looked at the floor. In my thinking if Itachi stays alive, then he could help us by helping Sasuke and then in turn helping Naruto. Then we would have an awesome team in Konoha and the world would be saved blah blah blah. "Well, since I don't really know what is going to happen in as much detail as you do, I don't really have much say in the matter do I? I guess that I'll just have to trust you and your friends, wherever they may have ended up."

"Thanks. I'm sorry that I broke into the document room." I apologized as he got this weird smile on his face . . . well you know, eye crinkle seeing as I couldn't actually see his face.

"About that." He said in a voice that clearly stated that he was up to something.

As it all turns out, due to me already knowing a lot about things and how they work I started to do some missions. Kakashi told Tsunade that he thought I was ready to do a few regular missions and I began to do a few regular D rank missions around the village. Most of them were solo missions and every now and then I would get sent out on C rank missions with Kakashi for help if I needed it. Generally a gennin wouldn't go on C rank missions, but technically I wasn't a gennin, so I guess I was a different case. Through the few missions I went on I gained a lot of experience in medical and regular ninjutsu. I could finally use medical ninjutsu on humans! Considering I was as old as Sakura I picked up all of the concepts easily, but I had to work harder with chakra control and healing with the chakra since I hadn't been doing that until recently.

As time went on I went on more and more missions, my speed, taijutsu, and stamina increased rapidly. I threw myself into training, reading, and helping around the hospital. According to all of the books, I should be feeling more effects of chakra exhaustion, but I go to bed dead on my feet and wake up perfectly fine. I do have a lower than average amount of chakra, but I make do with what I have. I ask everyone that I know if they've heard anything about my friends, they would know if they had. I know that Kakashi keeps an eye out, even if he won't admit it. I eventually caught up with Naruto and he's on the look as well. I think positive, but I can't help fearing the worst. I also figured out where I was in the timeline, and if I'm right, the party to go out and find Sasuke should be heading out soon. I was going to push as much as I could to be on that team, and to prepare for it, I was about to do something really stupid.

"I-I need a favor Lee." I stammered, regretting this before it happened.

"What is it Jessica!?" Lee asked in his loud voice full of enthusiasm. I cringed.

"Could I train with you for the next three days to help my stamina and taijutsu?" I asked with a pained expression that he didn't pick up on. I was half hoping that he would say no.

"Of course! We can bask in the glory that is youth!" He yelled as we headed to the training grounds. He gave me an extra pair of ankle weights to wear while training, I put them on and I could barely move. This was going to be a long three days.

I thought that I had seen hell with my own eyes, but here I am, living through it realizing how wrong I was. As it turns out the fifty pound ankle weights were just the beginning. To 'warm-up' we had to run five laps around the village. Do you know how big the village is?! It takes me, in the best shape that I have ever been in, fifteen minutes to run around the perimeter once. I could run a seven minute mile before I came to this world! I got done with my first lap and couldn't believe this. Besides the running, there were too many push-ups to count, more crunchies than I had ever done in my life combined, and then learning how to walk on my hands. Throw in random sparring sessions and that was the whole first day.

"I went easy on you today, but do not worry, tomorrow will be even more youthful and test your abilities even more!" Lee told me before running off to probably train some more. That guy was nuts, and he ordered me to wear the ankle weights for the duration of the three days. I headed to the hospital to see if they needed help before passing out on my bed.

The next morning was the beginning of the worst day of my life. I woke up and I was sore from head to toe due to the previous day's training. I mean, I have been through some rough conditioning for sports, but compared to this, that was a walk in the park. It hurt to open my eyelids . . . then I remembered that I was going to have to do an extra ten laps every minute that I was late. With that in mind I slowly slid out of bed and cursed the damn ankle weights that I was being forced to wear. It took me longer than I would like to admit to get dressed and I never remember it being that painful. After I was finally dressed in shorts and a thin tshirt I headed to the bathroom. I'm pretty sure that even some of the patients that were in coma's could hear my scream of rage. Surprise, it was now that time of month. . . great. And I was about to go to a workout that probably would make some Olympians cringe.

After giving myself a mental pep talk that could probably motivate an army of pansies I headed to training with Lee for the second day in a row. Once I got there I looked around for Lee and I couldn't find him right away. A small part of me hope that he would forget. That's when Guy decided to drop in. I think my heart stopped for a second or so. No, not him, anyone but him! He trained the crazy who trained me yesterday and about murdered me! I mentally punched myself for doing this willingly, but I knew that it needed to be done.

"Guy?" I asked, he only seemed slightly surprised that I knew who he was, I guessed that Kakashi had told him all about me, and the currently missing Tweedledee and Tweedledum . . . Mallory and Rachel.

"So you are the famous Jessica that Kakashi has told me about? You seem very youthful! And Kakashi has told me that out of the three strange people that he has met, you are the one who actually has their head screwed on right!" He said in his loud, booming voice.

"Um, sure?" I answered in a confused voice. He grinned at me and gave me a thumbs up probably expecting me to do the same . . . I just gave him a confused WTF look. I've never been into the whole . . . enthusiasm thing . . . unless it regarded watching anime, or Taemin. Anywho . . .

"So we will start off with 15 laps around the village on our hands!" I could already feel the pain in my shoulders . . . not only had I learned to walk on my hands yesterday, but Lee only made me run 5 laps around the village . . . on my feet.

"Uh . . . sensei?"

"Yes!"

"How about only maybe 6 laps?" I asked trying to compromise, I mean we're talking about a serious head rush here.

"10."

"7."

"8."

"Fair enough." I gave in, seeing as 8 was much better than 15. I sighed and realized that he had already taken off. I took a deep breath, stretched out a little and put some chakra into my hands for better balance and took off.

As I finished the first lap, sweat was literally running down my face. Guy-sensei was sitting and waiting for me.

"I can tell that you don't do this often." He remarked, I had to scoff at this, even though it's incredibly rude and I always berate Rachel for doing that.

"No, I can't say that I do."

"Well in that case, finish your laps! I will help motivate you!" I sweatdropped . . .

"No no, that's okay, really, I should be done in like two hours, come back then!" I told him as I took off on my hands once again.

True to what I had asked, Guy-sensei came back two hours later. I was on lap 5 and I could barely feel my arms, and I had been taking running breaks to speed the process up. I payed sensei no attention as I kept going. I was not going to stop unless I passed out, and if I had any sort of say in it, that would not happen. I kept going like the good little energizer bunny that I was when out of nowhere a person in a dark cloak ran up to me. I jumped up and got into a fighting stance, I didn't have any weapons on me, but that was just too bad. The ninja came at me and it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was either Lee or Guy-sensei. I blocked a majority of their attacks and kept up with their speed. That is, until they stopped going easy on me. Their punches came at me faster and faster, they added kicks at the most random of times. I tried to send a minute amount of chakra to my eyes to keep them focused despite my fatigue from the walking on my hands.

After what seemed like at least a half hour, but was probably more like three minutes my attacked landed a punch on my right shoulder. Before I could even register the pain, they were gone. I rubbed my shoulder, shouted profanities to whomever had attacked me and kept up with my walking, healing my shoulder in the process.

Out of sheer will I kept walking on my hands until I was done with those eight laps of hell. I finished the last lap and fell onto my back and just let the feeling of victory wash over me. I smiled and started laughing despite the fact that it hurt my muscles to do so. As I had anticipated Guy-sensei appeared and gave me the thumbs up sign and flashed a smile, I tuned out his speech about the 'power of youth' and such. The only thing I got out of it was that we were going to run three more laps to finish our 'warm up'. Was he trying to kill me? I grumbled as I took a sip of water from a random water bottle that Guy must've brought and took off running . . . slowly . . . this was a warm up after all, no need to rush.

Now, I won't bore you with the details of the rest of the day's workout . . . it was close to traumatic. All I can say is I hate trees, gravity, and walking on my hands. The day began at six in the morning and ended around seven at night. When I was finally done with training I slowly walked back to my room at the hospital. I healed all that I could, but decided that I would lose more chakra than necessary and that there was no point. I rushed through a much needed shower and took some pain meds. I walked over to my bed and fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Kakashi POV~

I smiled to myself as Jess, dead tired from her long day of training with Guy and Lee, slowly walked into the hospital and probably to her room to sleep. I knew why she had wanted to train with those two, but I was still surprised that she went through with it. I wouldn't wish a full workout day with those two to some of my enemies, they were going very easy on the girl, and I'm sure that she realized that.

"What am I going to do with these three?" I muttered to myself as I walked away from the front of the hospital, my head swimming with contradicting thoughts. Thoughts that no one could even fathom. I sighed dramatically.

"These three are a handful, Minato-sensei, I can see why you sent them off almost as soon as you saw them. I wonder why I didn't do the same sometimes, but you know me and my promises. Oh well, it can't be helped I guess. Heh." I stopped talking to myself, even though I didn't really care if people thought that I was insane. Things were going to get very interesting very soon, and there was nothing that I could do about it.

**A/N: No promises on when I will update again, but I will update eventually! Review please!**


	17. Mallory is Back

**A/N: Please forgive the shortness of this chapter! I just had to get these little serious scenes out of the way so I could begin writing the fun stuff ^_^ I mean really, shit's about to get real. Lol jk, but yeah this chapter is . . . serious . . ew, but necessary nonetheless. Enjoy the quick updates while they last!**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, if I owned Naruto, I would probably be more creative than this.**

'_**Yeah . . .'**_

'**Shut up conscious.'**

Jess POV~

After the three days of hell with Guy-sensei and Lee I began to make my own work out schedules that were based on the work outs that I had had to endure for those three days. Although not nearly as extreme and demanding, I wouldn't be lazy with my work out either. I generally started the day with a single lap around the village and then I powered through a few of the offensive medical-jutsu based attacks that Sakura taught me in the recent weeks. Then I would run a lap around the village as fast as I possibly could and then jump-rope nonstop for a half an hour. After this I would generally go check and see if there were any D-rank missions open. As it turns out I had another month after the three days of hell before the team would go out to find Sasuke. It was now the third month and second week that I had been in Konoha.

I wiped the sweat that was dripping down my face with the back of my left hand. It was around ten in the morning and people were out and about. I had just finished my workout and was headed home for a shower. As I passed the familiar shops and small restaurants I waved to the few people that I knew on my way to the hospital. I walked into blindingly white walls and the strange chemical smell that I had become accustomed to. I waved to the friendly secretary and headed towards my room to change. My mind wandered, thinking of various ways that I could heal third degree burns and severe lacerations without draining too much of my already too low chakra.

"Hey, Jess!" I heard Sakura call from behind me. I turned around and gave her a questioning look while waving at her. "Tsunade-sensei needs to see you as soon as possible."

"Why?" I asked before shifting my weight from one foot to the other and taking a sip of water from the dark blue water bottle that I had in my possession.

"She didn't say." The pink haired ninja replied.

"Hm, okay I just need to change and I'll be right there." I told her with a smile. I waved goodbye and began to walk a bit more purposefully in the direction that I had originally been going. Why would the Hokage need to see me? Numerous worst case scenarios began to play in my head, and I began to plan for the worst. I opened to door to my little room and took a two minute shower so I wouldn't have the nasty feeling of my morning workout lingering on me. I put on some black capris, a blue shirt with the Leaf Village symbol on the back, and the arm guards and fingerless gloves that Kakashi had given me a month ago for my birthday that he had somehow known about. (I had my suspicions that they were the ones that he had as a child, but I couldn't be sure.) I ran my fingers through my dark hair and was pulling it into a ponytail as I jumped out my window to head to Tsunade's office. I still got a rush but jumping out of the second story window and cushioning my fall with chakra, it just made me feel like batman or something with a cool theme song. Even after three months, the fact that I had and could use chakra still amazed me to no end.

Using the back alleys instead of the major roads, I avoided people and got to the other end of the village in about five minutes and headed right into the large red building. No matter how many times I saw this building, I always thought of that horrible place that the three of us went to, and how torn up and sad this building became. I knocked on the door to the Hokage's office and waited for permission to enter.

"Come in." I heard Tsunade call from the other side of the door. I opened the door and stepped into the large office. No one else appeared to be in the room, but I have a feeling that someone else was around.

"You summoned me?" I asked.

"Yes. Kakashi has informed me that you are in possession of an unprecedented amount of knowledge. Seeing as he would not tell me the rest of what you know, I can assume that you have not told him?"

"No." I replied. I wasn't surprised that she was aware of my knowledge base. I had honestly expected to be questioned sooner rather than later.

"Would you tell me what you have not told Kakashi?"

"No." I replied honestly. Even though Tsunade is cool, I trust Kakashi more than her. I'm not sure why I trust him seeing as I have known him for only about a week longer, but he hasn't looked at me like I'm crazy yet, and I know that he believes me. That aside, I wasn't particularly sure that anything I knew had any value anymore. Who knows what kind of disasters Rachel and Mallory could cook up in three months?

"Why?" She demanded.

"I'm not sure that I could."

"What do you mean?" She asked as I tried to think of a way to explain. Expressing my thoughts through talking has never been my forte, that's Rachel's skill, although sometimes she needs a filter.

"Well, I'm not sure that anything I tell you would actually happen. I came to this place with two other friends, and we got separated on the way to the village by unforeseen circumstances. Now, considering you don't know my friends I'll let you know something. They are magnets for trouble, they make friends easily, one of them knows as much as I do about this world, the other knows absolutely nothing about this world, the last time I saw one of them she was practically bleeding to death, and the other one was armed with only a frying pan. A useful, but rather impractical weapon . . . plus the girl feels guilty when she kills flies let alone hurts people. Even considering these things, I like to believe that they are alive and being their annoying selves. This in mind, they have more than likely changed the timeline at least a little. That's why any knowledge that I have may or may not prove to be useless, or even completely opposite. Although, I would like to say that I would be an asset on the Sasuke retrieval team."

"How did you get here? Kakashi said that I wouldn't believe him." I chuckled at that, and silently agreed with him.

"That would be the fourth Hokage's doing, either that or the evil fridge at Rachel's house that picks favorites and we either stole from it or sexually harassed, still can't really be sure." I told her, still laughing under my breath.

"That guy sure does do a lot after death." She said while ignoring my monologue about the evil refrigerator . . . of doom. And I meant that he was alive when we met him, but I'll let her think whatever.

"Although, Rachel may have been the one who split us up. Then again we weren't holding hands last time, so maybe that's why." I mumbled, forgetting that ninja's have acute hearing.

"What do you mean? Who is Rachel?" she asked in response to my mumbling.

"Rachel is the friend who also has knowledge of this world. She had a theory about . . . well basically Hiraishin, but not in the conventional sense." I saw her eyes widen slightly at that.

"The Flying Thunder god Technique that the Fourth hokage made and perfected?" I nodded at her question. She looked at her desk, obviously thinking about something deeply before snapping her head towards the window. "Kakashi, where is Genma?" I knew that there was someone else here *mental happy dance at maybe being able to sense others' chakra*

"Last I heard he was on a mission. I couldn't tell you where though." He told the Hokage after poofing into the room. I briefly wondered why she would want to talk to Genma. Then again, I really didn't know too much about Genma. I always thought that he was pretty badass though. I didn't have to wonder long because Tsunade went into a full blown explanation as to why she needed to contact Genma.

~?~

The three ninja walked through the dense forest, each of them were on high alert even if it didn't seem like it. Two of them wore black cloaks with red clouds and the other wore a simple dark jacket with a large collar and had a backpack as well as a sword across their back. The two taller ninja with the black cloaks stopped walking and jumped into the trees the shorter ninja following without a moments hesitation.

"The road is exactly one kilometer west of this position. Itachi will put the guards into a genjutsu and then he will signal us to attack, any questions?" the tallest of the group asked, mostly looking at the shortest of the three. The girl shook her head and took off without another word.

"They grow up so fast." The tall blue man said dramatically to his partner.

"Hn."

"I can see you're very torn up, Itachi." He told the shorter man who took off as well. Kisame sighed at his partner's normal lack of response and began to head towards his designated point as well.

Their target was a very wealthy man. This man had been slowly taking over a large portion of the black market and the leader of the Akatsuki decided that our organization could put his money to better use. They had been gathering intelligence for the past two weeks and learned of a transport. This transport consisted of a larger number of guards, one carriage, a bad smelling mob boss, and an obscene amount of money.

The girl who had left the group first, also arrived first. There were a million things running through her mind at once, but she kept her thoughts organized and got into position. She saw Itachi begin to walk calmly towards the platoon of guards and the carriage that presumably held the money and their target. The girl squinted to see the signal from Itachi to begin the attack. She silently cursed her horrible vision and jumped to a closer branch without a sound. Almost as soon as she had landed, she saw the signal and leapt from the branch. The girl unsheathed the katana that had previously been strapped to her back and went to work. Considering that all of the guards had been placed under a genjutsu, this wasn't even a battle. She incapacitated as many men as necessary and opened the door to the carriage.

The mob boss that they had been sent to kill was cowering in the corner of the carriage, holding what appeared to be bags of money tight to his chest. His eyes wide with fear and he was sweating profusely. The girl hesitated, not wanting to kill such a pathetic person. The man then took that opportunity and threw three shuriken at her in the blink of an eye. She flipped out of the carriage, trying to avoid tripping on a rock and the shuriken at the same time.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kisame called from where he was checking bodies that he had already taken care of.

"Yeah, just give me a second." She yelled back as she turned her attention back to the enemy. She wasn't really surprised that Itachi was already there and had dealt with the man. She relaxed her stance and put her katana back into its sheathe.

"I had it under control Itachi." She huffed as she pulled a scroll out for sealing the money. I mean who would want to carry around anything when you could seal it in a scroll?

"Just like the other nine men that you only knocked out?" The Uchiha questioned, gesturing to nine people that she had incapacitated earlier. She shrunk under the words that brought forth a recurring point.

"Lay off Uchiha, you know that Mallory wouldn't hurt a fly." Kisame told the dark-haired ninja. Mallory began to bring the bags full of money out of the carriage and into the scroll.

"Hn."

"You can't say that she hasn't improved drastically! Remember when you thought that she was a threat and threw a kunai at her the first time you saw her? And the first place that she his was the fridge? Then you tried to teach her how to throw a kunai and she ended up cutting herself on accident and bleeding all over the place?"

"No."

"Well it was freaking hilarious." Kisame laughed as the girl sealed the money into the scroll and threw it at Itachi's back. He, of course, easily caught the scroll without skipping a beat. Mallory made a face at his back that made Kisame chuckle.

"He only acts like a strict leader, he's really just a softie." Kisame told the irritated teen. Mallory dropped her mean face, knowing what he has been through and what he was planning, and almost had a look of sympathy before catching herself. She knew that Kisame would catch it and become suspicious of her behavior.

"I know." She mumbled, following after the Uchiha. The three left the scene fairly quick and headed away from the current hideout. It took her at least two hours to realize this.

"Where are we going?" Mallory asked either of the two older ninja. Kisame didn't reply and seemed to find the branches beneath him much more interesting at the moment.

"You will see." Itachi told her when he realized that Kisame wouldn't answer her question. The answer didn't sit well with the girl. Had they been ordered to kill her? Were they abandoning the Akatsuki? Fancy restaurant detour? It couldn't be Sasuke, could it? If it was then she was screwed. Her thoughts were plagued with uncertainty about what was about to happen in the next few days. When she first came here she knew nothing. Along the way she picked up a lot of information from Rachel and Jess and after this long, some of it had fallen into place. The only problem that she was really worried about now was why hadn't her friends contacted her, looked for her, sent a flying fish? She laughed at her own joke for a second and almost missed the next tree branch, but caught her balance before falling.

'_If they are alive, I wonder if they've forgotten about me? I mean a year is a long time. . ._'

**A/N: I really hope I relayed that information well enough . . . if you're confused, everything will be explained soon enough do not worry! Review=faster updates! I love you all!**


	18. Team Hebi plus Larry

**A/N: And here's the next chapter my lovelies! Fair warning about the language! I censor because I can, but it's not all that difficult to figure out. So here is what is happening with Rachel and Sasuke and Suigetsu and the new additions to the team . . . dun Dun DUNNNN!**

**Disclaimer: Y'all know that I don't own Naruto . . . now imagine me saying that with a Southern accent because those accents are awesome!**

~Rachel POV

"F*ck you, f*ck you very very muuuuuch!" I sang at the top of my lungs while Suigetsu sang the echo part. Sasuke was currently walking very far ahead of us and trying to act like he didn't know us. I had gotten bored after a short amount of time and began teaching Suigetsu a bunch of random songs and here we are skipping behind Sasuke and singing insults to him, just for shits and giggles. It was currently day two of our expedition to get to wherever Karin was, we had already stopped by the land of waves and gotten the Executioner's blade for the new white-haired ninja. I was pretty quiet and tried to hide my face in the ridiculously large collar of Sasuke's shirt that I was still wearing. It bugged me that I only had two shirts to change between, but that gave me excuses to stop and do laundry and piss off pretty boy even more.

"This is the song that never ends! It just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends! . . ." I had been singing this song for a good ten minutes non-stop which was a personal record. Suigetsu had dropped out around the five minute mark, but wasn't really getting that annoyed at me. The only reason that I kept singing was that I could practically see the irritation rolling off of the Uchiha in waves. Suigetsu took a sip from the water bottle thing that he carried everywhere and never seemed to put down, he was chuckling at my antics. I was getting tired of this song by now and needed to have a change of song.

"Dango dango dango dango dango dango daikazoku, dango dango dango dango dango daikazoku, yancha nay a ki dango yasashi dango . . . . BENNY! BENNY! BENNY AND THE JETS! My name is Cloud, I have a sword, I fight cactaurs because I'm bored, I like to ride on chocobos, that's better than having afros, BECAUSE I AM CLOUD MY HAIR DEFIES ALL GRAVITY . . . You get the BEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSt of both worlds (hehe irony) 99 invisible ninjas on the wall 99 invisible ninjas use a jutsu knock them out 98 invisibl—

Sasuke had stopped in his tracks.

"Please be quiet, you may alert enemies to our position."

"You're my best friend best of all best friend!" I sang loudly to Suigetsu.

"I'm sexy and I know it!"

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me!"

"Da nanana nana nana can't touch this." Suigetsu sang to me while I wondered about the next song that I was going to sing. Before I could think of another song worthy of being this annoying,( and I was going to go for Justin Beiber . . . but I would hate to introduce this world to that much pain and suffering.) Sasuke turned around and gave each of us one of the infamous death glares.

"Uh-oh, Sasuke mad!" I said with a fake dinosaur voice and imitating T-rex arms that were crushing things. Which of course didn't faze Sasuke for a second, but was enough to make Suigetsu give me one of those 'are you nuts, do you want to die?' looks. Before I could look up from my dino arms and get a good look at Sasuke's probably hilarious face I found myself in a familiar position.

"You just love putting kunai knives up to my neck don't you?" I asked with sarcasm as I glared at his red eyes. I hadn't even realized that he had activated his sharningan . . . weird.

"I asked you once to be quiet, I will not ask again." He ordered darkly, I scoffed at this and he raised an eyebrow.

"What are you going to do pretty boy? Kill me?" I asked once again. And here I was thinking that we could be less than enemies. His eyes narrowed at the familiar comment, but put the knife away.

'Aha! He is learning!'

'**He just knows that you're hopelessly stubborn . . . or mentally instable.'**

'HA!'

'**For the love of— what now?!'**

'You just insulted yourself again.'

'**Why do I try?'**

'I have no idea.'

'**. . .'**

'Where there goes the last bit of my sanity.'

Without another word he turned and began to walk away in the same direction that we had been going. Suigetsu looked at me with wide eyes and walked over to me.

"How?" He asked as we began to walk as well. I smiled a little.

"Oh, you know. I threatened him with rotten food as a child and he never got over the trauma. It was a very dark time in his past." I lamented dramatically, missing my friends who would play off of this lie perfectly.

"Really?" The white haired ninja asked looking like his parents just told him that it was okay to shoot a BB gun at something that one shoots a BB gun at.

"Kind of." I told him honestly, staring up at the clouds. We had been heading south for a while, I knew that we were headed to the base that Karin took care of, but I couldn't really remember all that went on. Aside from the fact that Karin tries to get into Sasuke's pants and attacks Suigetsu a few times. We walked for a while in silence, which was really weird, but for once I was doing some critical thinking about things that I had already thought about in a critical manner. It was exhausting. I just wanted to know if my friends were alive. No matter how much I tried to smile and laugh my way through this, I was really worried about my friends, and Sasuke knew it too. He knew that I wasn't really a complete ass-wipe, it's called a coping mechanism. Annoy the crap out of Mr. Prissy Pants= control over my emotions. Anyway, the other thing that I thought about was that I was bound to get myself into a dangerous situation at some point, and there wouldn't be any Minato or Kakashi to save me this time. I'm fairly sure Sasuke isn't the hero type. The point would be that I don't have any amazing chakra reserves, nor do I know any ninjutsu. Just painfully basic taijutsu, chakra control, and accuracy with a kunai. And I don't exaggerate when I say basic, you should've seen the day that I got a hold of that kunai . . . that was interesting.

"Rachel?" Suigetsu's voice pulled me away from my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I've been talking to you for the past five minutes, are you okay?" He asked, oddly sincere for once.

"Of course! I was just thinking about how to annoy Sasuke next!" I lied with a cheesy grin plastered on my face, hoping that he wasn't good at catching people who lied, or didn't want to press the matter either way.

"Wow, you, thinking? Don't hurt yourself." I punched him in the arm and forgot what I had been thinking about for a bit.

"Shut up, puddle boy." I yelled back and began to walk backwards while staring at him with a grumpy cat face. He just shook his head, which made me miss my friends more, but it's not like that's his fault. If it's anyone's fault it's mine, I screwed up the jutsu and now my friends might be dead.

I was snapped out of my reverie by running into a wall.

'**You're in a forest, dumbass.'**

'. . . car?'

'**Try again.'**

'Tree!'

'**Just turn around.'**

'You take the fun out of life.'

'**Hey! You think depressing thoughts!'**

'So what!?'

'**Im still a pop star!'**

'Okay fine, you're re-hired.'

'**Uh-oh, she has her sanity back!'**

"Rachel?"

". . . yeah? What do you want goose ass for hair?"

"You ran into me."

"You invaded my walking space without permission."

"You should watch where you walk."

"Watch where you stop walking."

"Hn."

"HN!"

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Copy me."

"Correction. I mock you, it's much more insulting."

"Hn."

"Yeah! Well . . . rawr." I snapped, stomping off in the direction that we had been going. I realized that we were in fact at the base already and sat down on a nearby rock, determined not to move. I heard Suigetsu talking to Sasuke about something, but I couldn't make out what they were saying and I didn't really care. I was also really mad that my good mood had been ruined for no apparent reason. Must be near that time of month I guess. Sasuke and Suigetsu went into the prison, presumably to get Karin, which would be a whole other nightmare in itself.

After sitting on my rock that I had named Larry and dubbed my new best friend because he didn't leave me, I got bored. So, in the name of productivity I began to draw in the dirt. I thought my picture was pretty amazing, and Larry agreed with me. Apparently someone didn't, considering that they were standing on my picture.

"Hey! That was my beautiful work of art!" I yelled at the sandals in front of me. I looked up at the murderer with the most intense glare that I could, which could probably make a third grader laugh at my face.

"Sasuke, who is _that_?" The redhead asked with quite the condescending tone.

"Thi—

"Excuse you? If you want to know who I am you ask me! Sasuke isn't my babysitter, got it?" She scoffed and looked back at the Uchiha for an answer to her previous question. Black eyes darted between myself and her before he began to walk once more.

"Sasuke!" She yelled in one of those annoying girly voices that I hate. Therefore, I mocked her tone and Suigetsu laughed at her reaction.

"What are you doing?" she snapped at me.

"Wat r u doing?" I mocked in a valley girl voice again.

"That isn't funny."

"That isn't fun-eh."

"Ugh!"

"Ugh!"

"I'm stupid."

"Yes, yes you are."

"You BIT—

"Ladies, ladies. Let's all calm down and talk this out." Suigetsu told us, Karin glared at him and I smacked him upside the head.

"Stay out of this water boy." I told him before turning back to Karin. Truth be told, I really didn't have a problem with Karin when I watched the anime. Sure, she was kind of a bitch to everyone and worshipped Sasuke, but from what I saw she never really got out much. I mean, I can't even imagine how messed up I would be if Orochimaru shaped the majority of my childhood.

'**Really freaking screwed up.'**

'You can say that again.'

'_**Really**_** freaking screwed up.'**

'That was a rheto—

'**I mean **_**monumentally**_** messed up in the head.'**

'-_- Thanks.'

Right now I was just pissed because she ruined my picture in the dirt. It was a turtle, and it was a freaking masterpiece! Sai would be quite jealous, I gotta say.

"So, Karin, why'd you do it?" I asked her.

"Do what?"

"Ruin my picture."

"What picture?"

"Don't act all innocent."

"Excuse me? And how do you know my name?"

"I'm telepathic. And it was my amazing fantastic marvelous beautiful inspiring majestic wonderful astounding remarkable incredible miraculous mind-blowing picture of a turtle . . . it was right next to Lar—OH NOEZ! I left my new best friend behind!" And with that I took off in a chakra infused sprint to comfort Larry, my best friend rock. You are all jealous and you know it.

Apparently, while Karin and had our fight we had travelled quite the distance, it took me at least two minutes to get all of the way back to the base entrance. The sad thing was that I was now dead tired from using up all of my chakra for running to say good-bye to Larry, I really must have a pathetic amount of chakra. I gave Larry a hug and sat in the dirt, careful not to mess up my awesome picture of a turtle any more than the redhead had already screwed it up.

"What are you doing?"

"Are you sad to see that you have been replaced, Uchiha?" I asked, hugging the rock, I was quite attached.

"Let's go. You wasted enough time already."

"Don't sound so enthused. And no, this is my new best friend, replacing you."

"I'm wounded." He deadpanned.

"Good." Seeing that I wasn't going to move he began to pry my arms from the rock.

"NUUUUUUUUU! Larry!" I yelled back to my friend and I began to kick and scream while Sasuke just grabbed my wrist with ease and began to drag me away.

"I will never forget you, Larry! I will come back for you, don't worry!" I yelled with a now tired voice. Using up all of your chakra really does take a lot out of you. That was the main reason that I was now not kicking and screaming as much, and really just letting him drag me back to the other two.

"Fu** you Sasuke, you're just jealous because Larry was my best friend and not you. You wish that you had the kind of class that Larry possessed."

"Was Larry the rock?"

"Who else was I smothering with love and hugs, dumb-ass." He just replied with 'hn' and kept dragging me through the dirt, which sucked by the way. I was getting dirt in places that were not meant to be dirty . . . like my elbows. I guess that Sasuke finally realized that I had given up on trying to fight back and go back to Larry because he finally stopped dragging me through the dirt and dropped my wrist. This led to my back and head hitting the ground rather hard. Which made my vision go all fuzzy; of course this could also be because my pathetic amount of chakra had been recently depleted, but you know, whatever. To put things in perspective, I was so far out of it I didn't even have a snide remark for Mr. Prissy Pants . . . and _that_ was saying something. I just stayed there on the ground facing the sky and tried to figure out if the trees were moving or not. Apparently, the Uchiha had noticed my lack of awesome and came back for me. He, or should I say they, came into my vision after roughly a minute of lying there like a rock.

"Get up."

"No."

"Get. Up." Now, normally I would've made some snide remark about performance issues, but I was using too much brain power contemplating why there were three Sasuke's and what effect this could have on the world. I squinted my eyes in thought and he narrowed his eyes at my lack of response. I guess when I don't talk even crazy emo ninjas become suspicious.

"Will you release the shadow clones, I don't like having so much gloom in my line of sight." Then he gave me a really weird look and tilted his head slightly to the right as if he was really confused, and you will never hear me say this out loud, but it looked really adorable with his head tilted like that. . . now to go wash out my mind with soap.

"Rachel. There are no shadow clones." The three Sasuke's told me.

"Liar." I spat before closing my eyes for a while and opening them to see if the scenery had changed. It hadn't sadly and I really wanted to cringe or something at the sight of three of the same Uchiha looking at me like I was nuts just to hurt his ego, but my body would have none of that. That, my dear friends, pissed me off.

'**Who are these friends that you speak of?'**

' . . . them *gestures to crowd of people staring at their computer screens*'

'**Oh, well that makes sense now.' **

"You used up your chakra." The three Sasukes stated.

"No shit Sherlock. I just need a nap, don't get your panties in a twist." Wow a whole sentence, score one for Rachel!

"We need to move."

"Hn." I mocked before rolling over and trying to sleep, honestly I was debating whether or not I was already asleep and knocked out from chakra overuse. While I debated my consciousness and whether or not I was asleep, I was lifted off of the ground by two arms and my face was smashed into a pathetic excuse for a shirt. Okay, so it was a nightmare, now I get it.

"Put me the fu** down." I grumbled

"You either can't walk from chakra exhaustion, or you choose not to just for the sake of annoying me."

"Don't go giving me ideas." I mumbled into his shirt, I felt like dying right then and there, this was embarrassing.

"Hn."

I'm pretty sure that I fell asleep around that point because the next thing that I was aware of was waking up in a tiny hotel room that had one candle in it for a light source, a sad sad light source. I was lying on the only bed in the room, which was more of a cot than a bed. There was one door that had been left partially open to reveal a bathroom and another that, presumably, led out of the room. I got up from the cot and meandered to the bathroom to wash my face and take a quick shower. Much to my surprise I found another pair of pants similar to the pants that I had been wearing, along with a white, short-sleeved shirt that looked like the one that Sasuke ends up wearing after Itachi dies. There was also a dark cloak hanging on the door knob. They must've already gone to the ninja cats . . . . which means that they already added Juugo to the team as well. I must've been out for days! How pathetic.

'**Kind of.'**

'Well at least I'm not a Mary-Sue! I get hurt and can't do ninjutsu to save my life.'

'**Yeah, but Sasuke has to save you.'**

'That doesn't make me a Mary-Sue!'

'**It could.'**

'This is more like a series of unfortunate events . . .'

'**Keep telling yourself that.'**

'And you wonder how I became so crazy.'

'**What do you mean?'**

'If my conscious isn't even rooting for me then what do I have left?'

'**Not much.'**

'Precisely.'

'**Ah touché.'**

'There will be no quoting Naruto Abridged in THIS conversation!'

'**Heheh . . .'**

'DON'T SAY IT!'

'**. . . moo.'**

*Dramatic mental sigh*

I got dressed in to clothes that had been laid out for me and put on my black sandals before heading out of the door and into the hallway. Humming the Mission Impossible theme song to myself I crept through the halls until I came across a staircase that led down to what I hoped was the lobby or something similar. I waltzed down the stairs and did come upon a lobby-type room and saw a lady at the desk to my right. I was really hoping that this encounter with hotel service would be better than the last hotel's service. She looked up when she saw me and flashed me a smile that I returned.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes, um, how long have I been here? And also do you know where the people who brought me here went?"

"I believe that Mr. Uchiha brought you here about three days ago and he asked us to keep an eye on you. He seemed like such a nice young man."

"You've got to be kidding? Are you sure that he was Uchiha? Sasuke Uchiha? Dark hair, dark eyes, taller than me, aura of hatred and angst kind of surrounding him like an evil fart cloud?" The middle aged woman laughed at my description.

"Yes, but he was a very polite young man, and he seemed quite worried about you. As for your other question, I'm very sorry, but I'm not sure where he went. He did say that he would be back in four or five days, and that was three days ago." She explained.

"Alright, thank you for your help." I told her. She smiled back and I headed towards the exit. I had no idea where I was and I didn't think about asking the lady for some reason. Either way, exploring is always much more fun. I wrapped my cloak tighter around me and began to walk down the dirt road.

There weren't too many people walking the streets, but the town wasn't deserted like I thought it would be. There were all kinds of stores lining the streets that were selling various things. No one really paid me any attention which was really nice. After about an hour with no real progress with finding out where I was I found a little restaurant place and sat down at the bar. I found myself hoping, once again, that this encounter with a bar wouldn't be like the last one. That was just a bad trip.

"What can I get for you, Miss?" The bartender asked me as he dried his hands off on a towel.

"Do you have apple juice?" I asked, he laughed a little at my request. Did they even have apple juice in the Naruto world?

"Do you want apple juice, or *air quotes* apple juice?" Since I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about I just replied with sure and waited for my drink. The bar/restaurant was absolutely deserted right now, and to top it off there was another sad looking plant in the corner. Why did bar people never take care of their plants? The man came back with my apple juice and gave me a funny look, I took the drink and took a sip. That was all it took to realize that this was a very alcoholic drink. Now, I'm just going to tell you this, I am not a drinker. I have never gotten drunk in my life. Some of my friends have, and do often, but not me. Therefore, I have no idea what I was thinking when I took down the rest of that glass of 'apple juice'. And the rest of the night is kind of fuzzy from there on.

Sasuke POV~

I hated this girl. Rachel. No one would dare annoy me that much without a death wish. I wonder every day why I haven't killed her yet, but it isn't her annoying tendencies that make me hate her. I despise her because she makes me worry. Not about her, no way, I worry for the people that I left her with. They are in for an interesting time.

Getting Jugo to stay with our team went better than I had expected. Rachel had been incapacitated so I didn't even have to predict her unpredictability and factor her into the plan. We were all currently on the way back to the town that we had left Rachel at, this town was the same town that Neko-baa and the ninja cats stayed. It was a little out of the way, but that couldn't be helped. Suigetsu and Karin would constantly bicker about this and that, but I have built up a high annoyance tolerance level due to recent . . . people. I was just glad that my team had been gathered without too much trouble.

We were currently about an hour's walk from the town and I could only hope that Rachel hadn't woken up and caused too much havoc yet. For some reason I had a very bad feeling.

"Hey, can we take a break yet?"

"Quit complaining Suigetsu! We just took a break, geez." Karin chided while keeping her eyes on me. That girl is also strange, but not quite as annoying.

"We are almost there." I told them while slightly picking up the pace. Jugo seemed to be the only one to notice, but he didn't question me.

We all walked in the village and it was too quiet. This just made me worry even more. Could one person annoy an entire village to death? I headed towards the hotel and the others followed me, keeping quiet for once. There were only a few people on the streets, seeing as it was already fairly dark out and the day was ending. I saw the hotel at the end of the street/road and was glad to see that it was still intact. Once I reached the door I heard it. A blood curdling scream from down the street and I knew that voice all too well. Suigetsu was gone almost as fast as I was, but I was still faster. We opened the door to the bar that the scream had come from and I was already gathering chakra for chidori.

"And that is how the great and valiant Larry died. I know, it's very sad but weep not, for he will live on in our hearts. *smack* Don't cry you pansy." Rachel had been telling a story, to a bunch of drunk men, about a rock. And here I was thinking that she was dying.

"S'now we can all go home and stuffs, and remember . . . no driving, fish are friends not food, and hakunamatata . . . noez! Sas-gay came to kidnap me again!" She yelled when she caught sight of me in the doorway, was she drunk? . . . it was hard to tell. The men in the bar seemed to take her words pretty seriously though, because they got up and started to throw bottles and chairs in this general direction. Suigetsu dealt with them while I began to walk towards Rachel, who was currently hiding behind a dead plant.

"No one will find me here." I heard her say to no one as I neared the dead plant.

"What are you doing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Hn."

"Yeah well I like McDonalds and moose should be meese so there!" She yelled at me in a slurred fashion. What _was_ she talking about?

"We're leaving." I told her, grabbing her arm.

"Ow!" she cried, I loosened my grip and glanced her way, there is no way that I had hurt her, "You bastard! Unhand me you fu**ing prick! You got nothing on this! Oh and did Itachi ever tell you 'Come at me bro?' because if he did, or if you did I think my life would be complete. So, this one time I had a goldfish . . . and . . . and he died . . . that was a dark time in my life."

"Are you drunk?"

"Drunk . . . could be! Oh, and by the way when you tilt you head to the side in confusion, you look so adorable!"

"Definitely drunk."

". . . but then you talk and ruin it all. Oh and another time I—

I threw her over my shoulder without another word and asked the bartender how drunk she was. He just chuckled at me, I took that as a very drunk. Well at least she hasn't destroyed anything yet—

"Kyah!" I heard a table break and I turned around. The table was cut in half— she took the sword from my belt.

"Kyah!" *smash* I took the sword from her and she began to cry for Suigetsu. I walked out of that bar as fast as I could without causing too much more of a scene.

"Sasuuuuukkkkeeeeee! I want more apple juice! You're just jealous that you didn't get any, aren't you? . . . answer me you gennin!" She screeched at an octave that even made me twitch.

"Hn."

"*gasp* I have never used that language in public and you should be ashamed of yourself. Such vulgar language!" How a response that is barely a syllable can be considered 'vulgar language' is beyond me. After what seemed like hours we got back to the hotel and I checked out another two rooms for Jugo, Suigetsu, and Karin. I had a feeling that I would be dealing with Rachel for a while, and I didn't want her to start saying things that would make the others suspicious. She was currently muttering about sad plants and shoes that ate people and I opened the door to the little room that she had stayed in before I threw her down on the cot where she started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Who knew *laugh* that Sasuke had *laugh* a sense of humor!" I shook my head and asked her to take off the cloak and she threw it at me with a very serious face. I raised an eyebrow and she began to laugh once again. I folded up the cloak and tossed it in a corner.

"Are you going to break out of the room again, or can I leave?" I asked the girl who was now inspecting her waist length hair for who knows what.

"Well, that depe—

Before she could finish her sentence all of the color drained from her face. She paused for a moment before running to the bathroom. Well that can't be good. I entered the bathroom just in time to see her throw-up into the toilet. Just my luck. I wonder if Karin would help her . . . probably not. I pulled her hair out of the toilet before she threw up on it and she began to sit down next to the toilet. She held up her wrist to give me one of her hair ties that she always has with her.

"It seems that you have done this before." I pointed out as I clumsily put her hair into a ponytail . . . I had never had training for this. This was embarrassing.

"I have never gotten drunk, but I have two older brothers at home, and I've been sick before. Generally guys don't know what to do once they get the hair out of the danger zone. It's not like you carry hair ties . . . well you might." I scowled at that, but was more put off by her sudden change in demeanor. She had never talked about her family much, if she had dealt with older brothers that would explain why she knew how to annoy me so well and got away with it. She's had some sort of practice . . . those brothers of hers either have enough patience to rival a saint, or are even more annoying than her . . . in which case I hope to never cross paths with them. I sat down on the edge of the tub and for the first time realized that the shirt that she had on was unzipped . . . unzipped way too low. I reached out and zipped it up, careful not to touch anything but the zipper.

"Geez, you just can't keep your hands off me." She told me with a smirk, before I could object she kept talking, "My brother used to do the exact same thing before I went to school, check and make sure that I looked like a nun. I wish I could go home and see my family again. I guess I shouldn't really be talking about this to you though."

She was right, I hated when people talked about their family. I really hated when people complained about how awful their family was when I didn't even have one. When I had my family ripped away from me against my will.

"Hn."

"You know I saw this movie once, and the main character always said something that you should try, 'To see with eyes unclouded by hate' I don't think that you could do it, but maybe if you did you would see that you still have a family that cares about you. Heck, even the remainder of your old family cares about you more than he cares about himself, but if I try to get that through that thick head of yours I'll probably get electrocutes. I swe—

*Throws up again* I wasn't quite sure if Rachel was telling the truth or not at this point. She looked miserable right now and I wasn't sure whether or not I should be happy that she isn't trying to piss me off or mad that she's spouting lies about Itachi. Although something has been bugging me that she said a while ago.

"What did you mean, when you told me that this is a fictional story?" I asked her when she stopped throwing up again. She gave me a smirk and got a glass of water.

"I live in a different world Sasuke. If you can't believe that then what's the point of trying to tell you any sort of truth?" I was taken aback by this, she wasn't lying. She's a terrible liar any other time, so she had to be telling the truth. How could I believe that she came from another world all together? That's just crazy.

"I can tell that you don't believe me, so what do you want me to tell you?" She asked me, supporting her head with her hand which rested on her knee.

"I would like you to tell me what you know." She laughed at this and mid-laugh she had to throw up again. I got her a glass of water from the sink, that probably didn't taste all that great. She thanked me and began to talk again.

"You would have to give me a place to start, Sasuke, I know quite a bit about this place."

"The Akatsuki." I told her, she got this crazy grin on her face, which looked really weird considering that she looked horrible. She then began to ramble on all about the Akatsuki. She knew more than I gave her credit for, she didn't know their birthdays or anything, but she seemed to know everything else about each and every member.

"Oh, and Tobi is a good boy."

"I thought that you just said Tobi is really Madara/Obito and a bad guy?"

"Madara is evil, Obito is misunderstood and probably missing a few brain cells from being crushed by rocks, and Tobi hasn't done anything evil." She pointed out, I gave her a scowl. "Do you remember Mallory?" I nodded at her question. "I'm worried about her."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Hn."

"I appreciate *yawn* the sentiment." I could tell that she was already half asleep.

"Hn. Go to bed. I'm still going to expect you to travel tomorrow."

"Fu** you." She mumbled while crawling to the cot on the floor. If I had to guess I would say that the time was around three or four in the morning. I figured that there would be no point in going back to my room with Jugo and Suigetsu because for all I know walking in the door would set off Jugo and cause all kinds of problems. Therefore, I sat down in the corner of the room leaning against the two walls and tried to fall asleep. Rachel barely made it to her bed before she was out cold, the blanket was barely covering her and the hair tie had already come out of her hair letting the tangled mess fall over her face. I wonder how I would handle going through something like going to another world without warning. I'm sure that someone would've died at my hands. Not to mention the only other people from her world got separated from her, she still hasn't told me how. I wonder if it was that jutsu that she mentioned the very first day that she woke up from being injured. Although considering that she has close to no chakra, that's hard to believe. Rachel rolled over in her sleep, mumbling about something and the blanket fell off of her shoulder. I sighed a walked over to put the blanket back on her. She was mumbling on her sleep once again, she always used to do that when we went on that mission. I could never quite make out what she was saying though. I went back to my corner and fell into the sort of half sleep that all ninjas have to adopt in order to stay alive.

Rachel POV

"Wake up."

". . ."

"Wake. Up."

"Fuck you."

"*kick* wake up."

"Close the blinds, it's too bright in here." I whined, so this is what a hangover feels like. Not. Pleasant.

"There aren't windows in the room."

". . . really?"

"Really." Sasuke replied. I opened my eyes a little and was blinded by, apparently, the lack of light. Sasuke was walking around and putting things back into order, who knew that he was a neat freak. I rolled over, I felt like dying.

"Stop walking so loud." I grumbled at the ninja as my pillow was suddenly not under my head. My head hit the floor with a _thud _and I glared at the culprit responsible.

"Damn ninjas." I grumbled, knowing that he could hear me. He tossed a black cloak at me which landed on my head. I took this as an invitation for more sleep and slumped over, determined to do just that. As fate would have it, I not only was already awake and couldn't fall asleep, but Sasuke kicked me and grumbled at me to get up once more.

"Alright ya jackass, I'm getting up! Do you have any asprin or advil?" When I got a blank look I just waved the question off. What had happened last night?

"Hey, when did you get back?" I asked the Uchiha after yawning and running my fingers through my hair in a pathetic attempt to get some of the tangles out. Ew. I needed a shower, I smelled awful.

"You don't remember anything do you?" He asked as I shook my head . . . slowly shook my head. "Well, I'm not sure about most of the night, but when we got to the bar you were telling everyone there a story and we took you away to bring you back to the hotel where you began to throw up and talking about all kinds of things."

"Oh great. Yeah, the one time I accidentally had one alcoholic drink and it was like truth serum." He gave me a weird look that made me worry about what was going on through his mind.

"So, you think that I look adorable when I tilt my head to the side?" Had I really said that? When in doubt make up words!

"Adugh frutigah relighdous . . . in your face!" He gave me the blank look that I had expected and let the subject drop. Success. I got up and threw the cloak back on the floor and went to take a shower. I would have to change back into the same clothes, but oh well.

Once I finished my shower I found a brush and detangled my hair before putting it into a loose side ponytail. I zipped up my white Uchiha symbol shirt halfway because I think the high collar is suffocating and brushed my teeth with a toothbrush that the hotel supplied. I went back into the room and noticed that Sasuke had left; I picked up the cloak that was still where I had thrown it on the floor and put it in my backpack before heading out the door.

Deidara. If I remember what was next in the timeline, it was Deidara. Now I do have a plan, but I'm not sure if it's all that great of a plan. I guess I'm winging it then. It has seemed to work pretty well for me so far . . . except for the whole literally getting stabbed twice in the back . . . or was it three times? Eh, who cares? If all went well I would see either Kakashi or Naruto within the week. And who knows, I may even see Jess or Mallory.

As I got to the lobby, I shot the secretary a big smile, she waved and said goodbye before I walked out of the exit to where I presumed the other three would be. I walked down the two steps right after the door and saw the group a few feet away from the entrance . . . when did we get a Jugo? Oh well, no use in wondering now. I saw the Uchiha glance my way and frown, what had I done wrong now?

"Rachel! It's good to have you back in the land of the living!" Suigetsu yelled to me. I grinned at him and ran to give him a hug.

"I missed you too Suigetsu!" I told him jovially. I turned to Jugo and waved at him with the softest smile that I could manage. "Hi! My name is Rachel, I'm not a ninja, but I can annoy any and every ninja to the point of becoming a murderous psychopath if I so choose to, but I think that you're awesome so I don't think that I'll annoy you."

"I am Jugo, it is nice to meet you." He said with a mix of worry and happiness on his face, it looked like he was in pain, but I wasn't going to say that, I did want to live through this whole ordeal. Karin didn't look all that happy to see me and I figured that I had better fix our lack of friendship before someone got stabbed, or worse, someone got their period and a bitch fight erupted. I walked over to her and she seemed to look everywhere but my face.

"Hello Karin, I think that we got off on the wrong foot the other day. I apologize for my rude behavior, even though it wasn't completely unwarranted, it was a bad first impression. Hi, I'm Rachel." I introduced myself, holding out a hand for a handshake. She seemed to ponder the whole statement for a bit before shaking my hand reluctantly.

"I'm Karin." And that was that, now we didn't completely hate each other! Sasuke gave me a weird WTF look and still had a scowl on his face . . . more so than normal. Who shoved a brick up his ass this morning? I didn't really care enough to ask him about it though, all he would say in response is 'hn'. Karin began to walk down a certain street and the rest of us followed her, as she was the sensory ninja. Sasuke was still scowling at me and I was about to call him out on it.

"What's your prob—HEY!" In the blink of an eye the Uchiha had moved and zipped up my shirt so that it wasn't unzipped halfway as it had been. What just happened?

"What's your deal!?" I yelled, making the other three turn around to see what I was yelling about. Sasuke had his emotionless face on, but seemed quite a bit more smug than he had before.

"You had your shirt zipped down too low." He stated as if he was telling me that the sky was blue. I scoffed.

"Since when is there a dress code!? You aren't my brother!" I yelled a little louder than I probably shouldv'e. Maybe I was a bit more homesick than I had previously thought . . . like I would ever admit that. I stomped off in the direction that Karin had been headed, hoping that I wouldn't take a wrong turn anytime soon. That would be embarrassing.

**A/N: I told you that the next chapter would be longer! Reviews make me all happy inside and give me motivation to stop being lazy and write more*hint hint *nudgenudge**


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